Hey, guys. First time, apparently, putting up a thread. Not fapping for past few weeks have filled me with emotions that I'm finding extremely difficult to control. My male energy has been channelized within my body. I'm saying this simply because I'm getting desperate to have a convo with a girl, I have fallen for. I'm highly unlikely going to make the first move considering she'll take the charge if she comes to know about it. I don't want that to happen. I'm just wanting her to initiate a convo. Mark my words on this, I had been trying very hard for a week now. I've been investing almost all my time thinking about her, putting up FB stories, and searching. To give you some backstory, I had received her friend request in or around May 2019. I couldn't recognize her as she had put up a grayscale profile pic. I committed a mistake, right there. I went on to check her Albums and I still don't know how did those 2 freaking minutes turn into 2 hours of continued staring!! I waited if I could get a message too because she's an introverted girl and was completely studious back in high school. But, unfortunately, she didn't interact. I happened to message her on her birthday in January. Her reply came through in an hour or so. I couldn't continue from there as I was bounded by examination preparations. I have 2-3 friends in real life and am perceived as a guy who has sacrificed all the materialistic comforts and is on a path to attain Salvation just like a mystic. To put forward my perspective, I am known as a person too much laser focused on turning his vision into a reality. But from there onwards (when I saw her for the first time), I felt that internal burning desire to work dying deep down, the flame extinguishing inside. I can't share this with anyone in real life to possibly save myself from future embarrassment which may ultimately contribute to more mental deterioration. Also, to sum it up, I know for a fact, being a 19 year old naive teen, this is an age where our intelligence seems to be hijacked by our RAGING hormones. I'm having absolutely 0 lustful thoughts towards her. All I'm looking for is affection, warmth and a person in my life whom I can cherish. And for which, I'm dying to get a message from her. This would open the gate and provide me an opportunity to check her mental level and to know about her, so that I can stop myself going all gaga over her. Any sort of genuine advice will be appreciated, I'd be highly obliged. Warm regards.