How to cope with porn withdrawals - Quitting porn after 10 years

Yes, this is normal for all us addicts! And if we don't stop, it escalates! I think women experience flatline too, from what I've heard??!

But at least you're stopping it now, whilst you're still young.

I have been watching p0rn since 17, I am 34 now...it escalated to the point where my wife and I made our own videos, and I was PMOing upto 5 times a day! I envy you discovering NoFap now.

 

I can say it's normal relative to me, a sober pm+ addict. I've been many real addicts (non recreational users) who could add their data.
I've written here before about the shame-addiction connection. I had shame very young thinking there's something wrong and it must be me, which includes some self centeredness, and then when I started to get more and more obsessed with sex at about the same age as you that seemed to explain what was wrong with me, especially when for the next twenty years I couldn't stop only increase. Of course everyone has shame, we addicts are just like normal people only more so they have lust i have "intrusive sexual thoughts that I cannot control that make me sick mentally and physically with anxiety attacks." They have frustrations I have raging resentments .
I gets better every year month and even week that I get better, it doesn't get better by just hanging out on a website especially not acting out, then it gets worse. And it may not look how it's supposed to look. Almost everyone comes in with an idea of how this is going to go that is not accurate: how could we know what life without pm+ is going to be like never having experienced it?
Despair and hopelessness feel horrible but are actually really useful to me, they remind me on a daily or even hourly basis that on my own I will go back to pm+ no matter how many years. Having thoughts is not inherently a problem any more than having pain is, when I have pain and want more and more not to that is suffering and my experience is suffering feels even worse than the pain (I have a lot of experience with that pattern). Same with thoughts. If my ego thinks and believes it should be better than this, that even thinking things is bad I will feel horrible, that still happens to me sometimes. But tapping into radical acceptance, starting with looking at whether I'm taking any "bad"actions such as pm+ or starting to, p-subs or staring, talking about people as if they are less than human as if they are animals or objects, if no such things are being done by this body it's only pride that cares about the thoughts because thoughts aren't real. Nothing to do with actually being sorry for the things everything to do with wanting to be super good therefore assured on prides own terms. But don't worry about that yet, just know that there is a solution and there is a good person in you.
I know it doesn't feel good to have intrusive thoughts because it is an out of control feeling. Again, the only reason we suffer over that is the belief we should be able to control our thoughts. I felt that way for many years and felt suicidal about my explicit sexual fantasies. In my case I was most worried I would start acting on them, now that I've found a long term way of living happily free of any pm or sex with anyone other than my spouse it is easier to back up and look at that idea "I should be able to control my thoughts, if I don't I'm bad" I still sometimes feel just like you do, "disgusting and lonely" but there's a way out of self hatred that can be practiced anytime by anyone. It's not always going to feel good to stay sober, and that's one of the big tricks: we always have a way (pm+) to feel "good" so it can be very tempting at times to use that to feel better. It's not worth it in my experience I'm very glad not to have gotten tricked for years, but it can be very tempting. Part of recovery for me is feeling "bad". Few people are interested in that way, usually people who took action to the hilt and then kept going through more years of deepening pain until finally hitting Rick bottom then after digging into the rock... You get the idea. None of that is bad, neither taking time to discover we are hopelessly addicted nor the denial not any of it it's just the way of the addiction it seems to be the way if things. I know from my own story it's possible to get free without having a whole long lifetime of acting out or extreme consequences, and to have a very happy full life after pm+