How to deal best with suicidal thoughts?

Hello @magic05.

If you don't want to get a professional help, like you mention in another thread by you, find different hobbies or activities, where you can release that kind of energy. Do stuff that pleases you like music, walking, running, meet friends and avoid negative stuff. Avoid people who makes you feel weird and habits of addictions that worsen your situation. Resist to hear, read negative things and recall what was your hobbies when you are a kid. What kinds of stuff did you like then? Go for them.

 

This feeling of meaninglessness and senselessness became an overarching theme in my life until now. My outlook on society and politics became cynical and nihilistic. I simply stopped caring what is going on in my country or the rest of the world.

In a way it's good. even I don't care much about what's going on the world. i'd rather think of my own world (friends, family) than think of the rest.

"Why care about high school/studies/jobs/society/PMO/alcohol addiction/sex/etc., if it's all a big single nothing? Why the whole struggle if it leads to nothing?"

Yes. it doesn't lead to anything. highschool, studies, job are there so you can have a decent lifestyle. there was a time when I had dreams of saving the world. now I just want to live with a clear conscious.

I do have certain goals, but they sound rather ridiculous. Like if someone would ask me what are my goals in life and I'd be as blunt as possible, I'd say: "To retire as soon as possible, travel as much as possible, have the best muscular/healthy body I can technically achieve and have as much sex with a real partner as possible." A very hedonistic lifestyle. Now in my current state I'm far from those goals, but in my mind I think like if I can't achieve that in the medium term I'd rather choose death as an alternative, because I see no other sense in life. I'd rather die than living like a slave to PMO and to working class society forever.

I don't think these goals are ridiculous. they're good. instead of either these goals or death, how about a midway. like you may not have six pack abs, but you can have a lean body. I think everyone wants to retire asap, but work sort of keeps one busy. staying at home can be boring.

Those suicidal thoughts and thoughts of total senselessness are a recurring theme in my life and they became much stronger since I started nofap 6 weeks ago. I don't seriously consider it and in the potential worst case I'd call my therapist in an instant or institutionalize myself, but it's strongly worrying me that nofap has made those thoughts worse and not better as I would have expected. I thought nofap would ease those thoughts, but now it made them even worse.

The starting days are difficult, but in the long run nopmo is good. its either nopmo or escalation in porn.

I wonder:

How do you deal and cope with suicidal thoughts? How do you make them disappear? My goals in life sound kinda childish and hedonistic, but should I still hold on to them no matter what?

I have made horrible mistakes (partly due to porn addiction). I often dream of dying in sleep. it gets difficult. therapy has helped me. hope it helps you.

 

suicide is for pussies. real men suffer till death