how to deal with it?

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by kumarach, Dec 17, 2021.

  1. kumarach

    kumarach Fapstronaut

    I'm so done with my own self, using porn as a way to cope with loneliness, lack of a group where i can belong, a place where people really understand me and don't judge me for all my actions. a place where i can leave my addiction behind naturally and feel loved by all.a place where i get a hug during random parts of the day. i relapsed really hard right now. why is it that people give me hopes when all they've got to do is leave? why do they be friends with me when in the end they know they'll leave. i wish i were a better person, someone who could have more friends, more affection, more openness. my parents mock me with a lot of things, in every decision that i take they mock me, never have they ever trusted me in my entire life. could never open up to anyone,the one person to whom i opened up, i cared a little too much about her so much so i had started intruding her personal space. naturally, she left. i feel dead, literally dead. i carry the burden of hurting so many people. i didn't wish to be this man that i am. having hobbies is like a crime in this household,they tell me to focus on only the academic stuff only......i know they mean well but sometimes i really need to destress. it kills me everyday......piece by piece...portion by portion and reminds of how horrible a person i am when it comes to keeping a good relation
     
  2. stanza88

    stanza88 Fapstronaut

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    When i was at your age i did all the opposite my dad told me to do. For me it was a rebellion and a way to make my path avoiding any other external expectation or wish. I kept every thing inside me and probably distressed a lot with PMO. Looking back i still don't know how i should had manage it better, maybe i couldn't maybe i could. Now that choice about how distress asked me a huge price in my life and i'm paying it. So if you have to choose between having a real and healthy hobby or PMO , be strong , tell your parents and follow your path, once you will show them that you are able to handle it without endanger academic stuff they will easy up. Just a point of view, stay strong and live the life you want.
     
  3. - YUGEN

    - YUGEN Fapstronaut

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    First, don't avoid worthlessness sentiments, always make them clear as possible. Keeping ourselves blind to our goals (this case, letting go of the burden) is desirable because it keeps away the feelings of failing.

    Parents who compare constantly are hurt by seeing their peers succeed in parenting. There's a low grade narcissism guiding their behavior and you probably internalized some judgmental voices in order to prevent being caught by surprise. If we fix the problem before it arises to the external world, then we have a little peace of mind. It was once adaptive and now must be let go of. You are the man shaped by past experiences, make peace with him - stop trying to change the present and no, the future doesn't exist.

    You were dealt a bad hand so make the most out of it, there's no use acting like you can choose a new starting hand.

    I hope you realized by now that things are not your fault, in proportion, as you think. Our interpretation frameworks are deceiving and often distort memory recall. You aren't the sole perpetrator of your past, you don't have as much control as you like to think. Life is an infinite rhyzome of misfortune and you just happened to react poorly.

    People get hurt all the time, you can't shelter them as much as you'd want to. The issue with your suffering you that your self-awareness + susceptibility to stimuli is higher than the average person. Your twisted mind is product of bad conditioning - you can revert that by training the body and feeding it the right stuff. This vessel is a result of eons of evolutionary pressure, don't make the mistake of limiting how much strain it can actually bear. You won't become a muscle head by going all-in so don't fret about numbing your intellect.
     
  4. Tigresswild

    Tigresswild Fapstronaut

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    Start practicing loving kindness meditation
    It might take a while but it really works.
    Every time I do it, people seem to love me more,babies too even animals. It also helps me feel better.
    I’m on a new streak and I’ve been practicing it everyday. It has been helping me
     

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