How to deal with tension without PMO as a single

Discussion in 'Abstinence, Retention, and Sexual Transmutation' started by primo19, Apr 6, 2019.

  1. primo19

    primo19 Fapstronaut

    Hello there.
    After a few relapses I'm on my personal record of days without PMO, today i reached 28th day. I'm proud of that, also notice some nice benefits. But I'm having a lot of urges, and problematic sexual behaviour during a streak.
    I noticed that I think about sex really often, back in my fapping days my libido was much more lower. I'm currently nearly 19 years old but never been in any serious relationship with women.
    My question is how to deal with all of this tension and urges without sexual partner. I know semen retention is healthy and have many benefits, but sometimes the pressure hits me bad, I'm worry about relapse...
    I don't want to get back to PMO, but I don't think i will get a girl in nearly future. I'm pretty much good looking but also very shy guy and even on NoFap I have a problem talking to girls and so on.
    You think that I Should wait to relationship with real women to ejaculate even if this may takes some time?
    alfianlight and Starset like this.
  2. Starset

    Starset Fapstronaut

    Hello !

    Well, It's not big deal if you are truly dedicated and determined to NoFap, but sometimes situation can be really tight and urges will attack you out of nowhere.
    You are one year older than me so I can completely understand what are you talking about, those years are really unfavorable because you are still developing and your hormones are not stable. The more days you reach, the more you will think about sex but it won't rise in infinity. :)

    You've already know this so I am going to answer your question "How to deal with all of this tension and urges without sexual partner ?"
    -Firstly, you don't need a sexual partner if you're doing semen retention. I'm not saying you shouldn't have one, it just doesn't play a main role in whole situation.:rolleyes:
    -Urges are like a storm, they come and eventually go away.
    -Cold showers are great urge killers.
    -Going for a walk
    -Exercising, running... (it can reduce wet dreams)

    The most important thing is that you don't give up when the urge hits you, just wait and it will pass. :D
    alfianlight, Hornyayu and primo19 like this.
  3. primo19

    primo19 Fapstronaut

    Thank you for response.
    I'm taking cold showers since I started NoFap, and you're right, its really helpful habit. Stay strong out there mate!
    alfianlight and Starset like this.
  4. Briareos

    Briareos Fapstronaut

    Your desire for women should motivate to go an persue them, by going online and "satisfying" your minds ideas you cheat yourself of the reality that women can be a healthy part of your life.
    None of us would be here without women, maybe your urges are there to remind you that you should make an effort to try to overcome your difficulty socialising with the opposite gender.

    Most importantly, we all have various urges, I enjoy fighting but that doesn't mean I go around beating people up. What we are feeling and what we should do about it do not always have an obvious solution. In this case sometimes you're in the middle of studying and you have urges at those times you may want to acknowledge them and put them to one side. Other times you may want to go for a walk and see where life takes you.
    alfianlight and primo19 like this.
  5. Hornyayu

    Hornyayu Fapstronaut

    primo19 likes this.
  6. Hornyayu

    Hornyayu Fapstronaut

    Awesome!! Perfect suggestion.

    Just try to be watchfull..also engage your self to anything you find producrive.

    Stay away from smart phones and laptops. It will help you.

    Stay stronger stay clean
    primo19 and Starset like this.
  7. Angus McGyver

    Angus McGyver Fapstronaut

    Remember that it is normal to have sexual urges every now and then (even if you haven't fapped for some time) but these will of course be taking up more of your thoughts if you have been PMO:ing for some time. I remember the first four weeks of NoFap were the hardest as I had withdrawal symptoms and thought about sex more than ever but the urges started to slowly fade away after a few months of abstinence.
    My brain and psyche has been healing even more since and the old PMO-days with brain fog and short term memory loss are long gone. I do truly believe in the saying that every year of fapping/PMO will require at least two months of complete abstinence before a full reboot is achieved. In my case, that means almost 2 1/2 years of NoFap (maybe a little less since I am in very good physical and mental shape).
    alfianlight and primo19 like this.
  8. N1[] @|_

    N1[] @|_ Fapstronaut

    You sound like a spitting image of myself
    Glad to meet you

    Dude, this is something I was told by another person i met here on nofap

    The reason you get these urges is because you still see porn and masturbating as valuable.

    I recommend you think back... Think back to why you quit PMO in the 1st place.
    Try and remember everything you want by quiting this and how terrible you feel after you do this

    Be completely honest with yourself on why you think PMO is bad.
    If you have your genuine reasons, just remember those to avoid PMO during those moments of high sexual tension

    As for the urges....
    Bro.. We're both teenagers
    This is normal
    Truth is, if you don't have these urges, something is wrong with you.
    The problem is that in the past we had a way to release this.
    Currently we dont
    That's what's causing the problem.
    But I'll tell you... No one has ever died of too much sexual tension. Actually what we're facing now is better said as a "craving" to release dopamine
    Do something that'll make you proud man
    It'll release the dopamine you need in a healthy way
    Like - when I get horny I do push-ups
    I feel great about me taking care of my body and getting more masculine
    Or I'd often take my football and do some practice, I feel great that im developing my skills
    Or I draw pictures
    I feel great when I post those and get alot of likes
    The bottom line is -
    I feel great about myself and it releases Dopamine.
    Sure its not as strong as the one you get when you PMO
    But that's the reason we're quitting
    To reduce our body's Dopamine demand which at the point can only be delivered by PMO

    By giving our body small doses from time to time in a healthy way, we're recovering, readjusting, rebooting

    I hope i was able to help you out a little bit

    I know how hard it is to be single
    I'm a Muslim. For us having intimate relationships without marriage is a wrong
    Even if I were to ignore that, I'm still too goddamn shy to even try and get a girl.
    Moreover I'm from India
    Here having a relationship at this young age where you can actually have sex is unimaginable

    Atleast you have a possibility
    I'm stuck here with absolutely no other way to release this ST

    I hope you can overcome every problem you face in your journey ahead
    I hope I too can keep my streak going like you
    All the best bro
    alfianlight, primo19 and SeRe Champ like this.
  9. SeRe Champ

    SeRe Champ Fapstronaut

    You are smart and determined. You've gotten this far in a world that is designed for PMO to consume your existence, but it is not consuming your existence, because you are realizing that you can change your behavior.
    What if you collaborate with the urges. When an urge comes along, instead of thinking of it as some dangerous thing, think of it as a message from your body to focus on something else. These urges are a reminder of your potential, to be a more studious student, a more well practiced athlete, to continue writing. WHATEVER it is you WANT for yourself, you can do it, and these urges are reminding you to do those things. So, when that feeling comes on, you can relax, because you know you won't PMO, instead you will do what you want to do for yourself and thank those urges for being a great reminder of your potential and HUGE reminder that you are still alive.
    Everyone here has your back. We believe in you. Do you believe in yourself?
    alfianlight and goodnice 2.0 like this.
  10. Extremebrah92

    Extremebrah92 Fapstronaut

    Mannnn, getting stupid drunk on a streak is the worst!!! Like I completely lose control and forget why I'm MO, guys don't get drunk on a streak
    primo19 likes this.
  11. Virginpaul

    Virginpaul Fapstronaut

    Yeah, you are right about most of what you posted.
    I'm a 20 YO virgin guy and I want nothing more than to be married so I don't have to deal with this but I'm shy and don't date much though I'm good looking.
    What a hassel!
    I'll be here for you.
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  12. primo19

    primo19 Fapstronaut

    Thank you for that answer bro. Its builds me up mentally, after that relapse I get some kind of depression, I'm literally come back to PMO... But I get up again, I don't want to live that kind of life again, I'm sure you feel the same. For all those years I was feeling like fucking shit, I was bullied, girl that I liked don't even know about my egzistence because I was fapping. Soo many opportunites comes by because of that... But even after a biggest failure we need to get up and try! I hope you also get rid of your addiction. Glad youre here, all the best for you and your country mate!
    alfianlight and goodnice 2.0 like this.

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