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How to deal with urges AFTER the big urge.

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by seek_red, Aug 8, 2019.

  1. Many times, I found that I can deal with the big urge and let the boner die down, but maybe thirty minutes or an hour after that, or even many hours after that, I still feel a very very strong urge to relapse even though there's no boner or anything. How can I handle that, because I always fall to that.
     
  2. MrVictorY

    MrVictorY Fapstronaut

    I don't have the solution, just want to say it's the same way for me...
     
  3. DeepParkWater

    DeepParkWater Fapstronaut

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    The only thing thats worked for me is to convert that energy into something else. Whether it be anger frustration motivation. I personally do deep pushups to get rid of some of the tension. After a while youre probily gonma need new things. But that helped me get to my furthest streak
     
  4. bluemax4

    bluemax4 Fapstronaut

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    I think you need to have a back up plan, something you can turn too that's going to get your mind off it.
     
  5. Could you please elaborate a little?
     
  6. I see. I'll try converting it to energy, but I'm afraid pushups are not always accessible.
     
  7. bluemax4

    bluemax4 Fapstronaut

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    @seek_red If you're having strong urges, all your focus and attention is going towards that urge. You need to have an alternative such as exercising, socialising, gaming, reading. Something you enjoy that will take your mind away from P addiction. If you're not thinking about it, you won't do it!
     
  8. bigboibez

    bigboibez Fapstronaut

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    U really gotta be busy every single day man. If you have days of free time your mind will just give you urges over and over and it feels like it will never give up.
     
    OnTheEdge likes this.
  9. DeepParkWater

    DeepParkWater Fapstronaut

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    I can understand that the key is transmutating that energy into another avenue. I just used pushups as an example since I typically get my urges when im alone in bed.
     
  10. Carbon Icon

    Carbon Icon Fapstronaut

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    The urges have more power if you give them power. If you have decided you don't really want to give up porn and that life without is difficult. If you are feeling deprived and constantly horny then you are focusing on the urges which increases there duration and intensity. If you decide that life without porn is better and that you will be more successful and happy without it, then you will not focus on the urges and they will pass quicker and be less extreme.
     
  11. bigboibez

    bigboibez Fapstronaut

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    easier said than done, everyone on nofap wants to give up porn but 99% find the urges brutal, if it was as easy as simply changing your mindset everyone would quit with ease
     
    Grey is colourless likes this.
  12. Amphibian

    Amphibian Fapstronaut

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    There are some immediate things you can do which help such as taking cold showers. I'm a huge advocate of that, and find it really beneficial and almost get a sense of release from it. You can also come up with a bit of a mantra or something when you start to fantasize. Like when I'm at the gym and there are a bunch of hot dudes around, I tell myself "blank" and just picture complete darkness around me -a void of anything else except myself. I've read another example where that person imagines themselves in a mansion and riches around them. Whatever gets you out of that moment and into something else.

    But what's ultimately going to be successful is proper long term strategies:
    -getting rid of all triggers including social media
    -pushing hard into a deep meditation practice that allows you to know when you're about to be triggered. And if slip-ups happen, meditation will more easily allow you to realize how it happened and how to course-correct.
    -have goals you're striving for. This is really important, because it provides a counter-weight to wanting to get that instant gratification. You'll have to ask yourself; "do I want to give up all my progress and what I'm working towards just for a quick jerk session?" And as you continue to practice meditation, you'll easily recognize that it's not and you'll have a much easier ability to naturally let go of those fantasies.

    I'll be honest, the last week or so I've struggled a bit with fantasies, but nothing really bad, but more so than the prior weeks. The fantasies I have now are pretty mundane and shall I say "healthy" and normal, but still, trying to get rid of them, and I'll sometimes tell myself "If this [that type of fantasy or relationship] is what I really want, then I need to actually not think about it to eventually make it reality"

    And that actually works really well. I reframe being able to fulfill the fantasy by not even thinking about it. Then I just move onto other stuff to occupy my mind, like learning Python, meal prepping, cat memes, making glitter jars... ya know... the usual stuff.
     
  13. Shy_1990

    Shy_1990 Fapstronaut

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    I dont have concrete answers. Only suggestions. 1. Get busy and find something to do. Even if its just going for a walk or something.

    2. Hang out with same sex friends (presuming your straight). I lose all my urges when im just hanging out with the boys.

    3. Remember that if you are not erect, your body is not actually aroused. Therefore you should not be touching it.

    4. Stay away from places where you relapse. For me its my bed. I should never go near my bed during the day.
     
  14. Carbon Icon

    Carbon Icon Fapstronaut

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    You're making excuses. I fail because my urges are "brutal". Bullshit. You fail because you chose to fail. Yes urges can be very difficult to deal with. But the duration and intensity of the urges has everything to do with your attitude at the time. If you are fully committed to quitting and doing everything you can to make it happen (no just hanging out on Nofap) your urges will be easier to deal with.
     
  15. NIKIKS

    NIKIKS Fapstronaut

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    yeah,it's also the same for me,I also want to know how to resolve it.
     

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