How to deal with virgin shaming?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by jipsikid, Aug 18, 2017.

  1. jipsikid

    jipsikid Fapstronaut

    64
    43
    43
    Im a 23 yo virgin and always get virgin shamed by friends, relatives, etc. To me it gets me super uncomfortable to the point that I want to just leave. Have you ever been virgin shamed? How do I deal with it.
     
  2. MarinoBigFan1984

    MarinoBigFan1984 Fapstronaut

    1,976
    1,475
    143
    Why have you chosen to remain a virgin?
     
  3. jipsikid

    jipsikid Fapstronaut

    64
    43
    43
    Its not my choice I just cant get any
     
  4. PicNick

    PicNick Fapstronaut

    101
    81
    28
    Although its a cultural thing, I would take pride in being a virgin instead of going along with social whoring. I don't give a damn of what society thinks of these kind of things, else they would shame me for PMO abstinence also, which will compromise my commitments. Good luck.
     
  5. AtomicTango

    AtomicTango Fapstronaut

    I too am a virgin because I want my first time with a woman to be something special, which is something a lot of people nowadays sadly dont understand. Honestly my best advice is to just try your best to ignore the jibes, if you cant do that then a good old fashioned "Fuck off, I dont give a shit what you think" always worked for me. Anyone who still unironically engages in virgin shaming in this day and age is a shallow minded person who's opinion shouldnt be listened to.
     
  6. MarinoBigFan1984

    MarinoBigFan1984 Fapstronaut

    1,976
    1,475
    143
    Are you just bad with interacting with women overall?
     
  7. jipsikid

    jipsikid Fapstronaut

    64
    43
    43
    Not only with women, also with men. Im super shy I dont now why.
     
  8. MarinoBigFan1984

    MarinoBigFan1984 Fapstronaut

    1,976
    1,475
    143
    Well that seems to be the major reason. Any particular reason for your shyness?
     
  9. jipsikid

    jipsikid Fapstronaut

    64
    43
    43
    I have no fucking clue. I think that I should go to therapy
     
  10. Freefaller

    Freefaller Fapstronaut

    66
    97
    18
    Your virginity is precious, trust me. It is not something you want to lose for the sake of saying you are not a virgin anymore. Those same people will find something else to give you a hard time about or they may not even believe you which will start the process all over.

    I was 27 when I lost my virginity and I wish I hadn't. My GF was super great but we eventually broke up. Now my next girlfriend, well hopefully my wife, won't be my first. It will still be glorious but if I had waited it would have added an extra element.

    Also, you're 23 man. Chicks younger than 25 usually have no idea what they want. Now is the time for you to get serious about something. Play guitar, write, pick up a talent. No matter if you are shy, quiet, reserved, etc., if you are serious about something and committed to it, chicks dig and are attracted to that.
     
    Spiff likes this.
  11. HappyDaysAreHereAgain

    HappyDaysAreHereAgain Fapstronaut

    1,660
    2,295
    143
    Shaming is a manipulative attempt to control the behavior of another person. I do not know why your virginity is such an issue for them, but they obviously feel challenged by it and want to put an end to your virginity. As long as you stay a virgin, you are controlling your fate, and they probably are not happy about it. As long as their shaming has an obvious effect on you, they will continue it to see your reaction. When you convince them that their shaming will not have any effect on you, they will stop.
    It is a form of bullying, and has no place in good society, but, sadly, it is still too common. I am sorry you are the victim of it, and hope it will soon end. You are your own man. You can define your self and be proud of who you are. Too many women have to settle for an experienced man who could be carrying any number of diseases. As long as you are new and clean, you are clean. That is a very good thing.
     
    jonny94, PicNick, Spiff and 1 other person like this.
  12. Don't buy these..
    It doesn't matter what they say because virginity is cool thing that you've.
    Once it's broken, you'll need something & I'm using the word 'need'.
    Well, it differes from person to person but still think about it.
     
    Spiff likes this.
  13. Spiff

    Spiff Fapstronaut

    408
    780
    93
    Consider yourself lucky that you managed to hang on to it through your youth. Most people just lose it because that's simply what's expected in our society - sex is just a meaningless hurdle you have to jump. I had sex with my high school girlfriend without even thinking about it because we both thought that's what we're supposed to do. You have the opportunity to make a thoughtful decision about your first sexual experiences.

    You have something that some would consider valuable, but that you consider a burden. My advice - change your perspective so that your weakness becomes your strength. There's a woman out there for you - you just might need to put some work in to find her.

    The only advice I have socially is try and get yourself involved in activities/ groups. Pick something your good at - sports, music, chess, books, whatever, and find a group that meets. This way you'll be able to work on socializing with new people.
     
    BlueDragonfly likes this.
  14. MarinoBigFan1984

    MarinoBigFan1984 Fapstronaut

    1,976
    1,475
    143
    I think this is more about virginity if you read the thread
     
  15. BlueDragonfly

    BlueDragonfly Fapstronaut

    46
    50
    18
    Ask them what they think you should do. They probably don't have any better advice than "get a girlfriend". Just stick with NoFap, and in time you will find the right girl if that's what you want.
     
  16. BlueDragonfly

    BlueDragonfly Fapstronaut

    46
    50
    18
    Man you sound a lot like me... do you have any friends? Just find some friends who are decent people that you can eventually go out and have fun with once you get to know them. It's a slow process.
     
  17. You realize that shooting your wad ina girls vagina doesn't automatically make you a better human being. Stop assigning value to the shit and you won't be butthurt when people give you shit about it.
     
    freedom457 and BlueDragonfly like this.
  18. Find new friends! You're stuck with your family but can have new friends. Personally, I wouldn't put up with anything like that from any 'friends'. I once hanged out with someone who kept calling me fat and in the end I had enough and stopped spending time with him. I also refused to go to his wedding.
     
    BlueDragonfly likes this.
  19. BlueDragonfly

    BlueDragonfly Fapstronaut

    46
    50
    18
    All of my "friends" that I had who criticized me and made fun of me are not doing well of at all. They're all introverted and don't go out much. One of them is into drugs and is gaining weight. You've just gotta separate yourself from toxic people. I tried to tell them what was wrong with them, one of them even asked me what was, and they all became hostile and didn't want to change, and instead tried to belittle me. That's when I knew I didn't need "friends" like that.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  20. You have to understand who you are and what is important in life. The reality is we live in a sick backwards society that makes promiscuity and perversion normal. When I was in high school, I fell for this bullshit too. I banged some person to make me more socially acceptable to my friends. I dont have any ridiculous regret over it but I started banging people that I didnt reallly care about, became distracted from my faith and I really added no value to my life. If you want to have sex do it but I can honestly say that in most cases i've seen with friends and family the best you can do is break even. I've had friends who got STDs, Friends who got gold diggers and skanks pregnant, Female friends who got pregnant by no good guys and all types of negative consequences. Anyone who makes fun of you for taking your time and not acting like a horny dog and not breaking your neck to get some pussy is misguided at best. These people are not your friends and you should not be taking their advice. My advice is to learn to respect yourself and find some smarter people to hang out with.
     
    PicNick and BlueDragonfly like this.

Share This Page