How to deal with virgin shaming?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by jipsikid, Aug 18, 2017.

  1. freedom457

    freedom457 Fapstronaut

    it was hard to deal with honestly, thought i was going to have a heart attack on the spot
  2. Hopefulgirl

    Hopefulgirl Fapstronaut

    My husband was a virgin until he was 24 and a half. He dealt with it by using humour. I will ask him if he has any insights for you.
  3. Dave G 123

    Dave G 123 Fapstronaut

    I was older than you by the time I finally popped my cherry, but apart from the relief of finally getting it done, my life didn't really change that much. It helped perhaps that several of my friends never really let on about their own situation, so it didn't get talked about much. I think the shaming side of things is really bad behaviour, and shame on any so-called friend for doing it.

    I have had close calls with STDs since, and on balance I'm kind of glad I didn't get laid when I was young - there really are downsides to it, and I know people my own age (40+) who have to live with the mistakes they made when they were young.

    I'd also say that the shyness side of things improves with nofap - just my personal experience, but my ability to talk to people in all social situations improves with each day of abstinence - it's a slow, subtle thing, but definitely works - it just makes life a lot easier in general!
    BlueDragonfly likes this.
  4. QUAH162

    QUAH162 Fapstronaut

    Well they're not your friends then. Why do u give a fuck anyway just focus on yourself instead.
  5. Mavricko

    Mavricko Fapstronaut

    Listen…sex isn't what it's made out to's only great with someone you love in my view..I've had sex over a 1000 times…most with the same girl…It's pretty cool you're 23 y/o and still a virgin. If I met a girl that was a virgin I'd think it was sweet..same for a guy as long as you aren't bitter about it. Don't worry about it and there's no pressure at all to lose it. I lost mine when I was 17 and could have easily lost it when i was 15 but decided against it at the time and ended a relationship as she kept pushing for sex. Just be yourself and don't force it. It's best for your first time to be with someone you love if possible. Peace.
  6. Happy Man

    Happy Man Fapstronaut

    If you don't want to remain a virgin, then start learning to talk to girls or learn to be social. If you want to save it for someone special, tell them to fuck off. Love will not come to you, if you don't work on yourself or be proactive about it.

    Some guys just don't want to be a virgin but they have no choice. I wonder which one are you?
  7. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

    Virgin shaming is a poor source of entertainment. Whoever does it will have plenty of issues as well no doubt.

    Then again, being a virgin isn't an issue to begin with, as others said our over sexualised society just glorifies losing it like some man making trophy.

    I made up a good sex story about a girl who did exist but nobody who I knew actually knew her, and that got everyone to stfu through school years. After that I did lose it but to a stranger I had zero connection with, and I felt empty like I'd wasted a milestone.

    Keep working on yourself, being sexless and having sex with people you don't care about is a lot similar than your joking 'friends' want to admit. It's what you do to improve your situation in the mean time that counts.
    BlueDragonfly likes this.

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