How to get a girlfriend 101

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Mera, Feb 15, 2016.

  1. Mera

    Mera Fapstronaut

    Hello brothers,

    I have read a lot of threads in the section "Loneliness". People struggle to find a partner and end up in depression, selfdoubt and sometimes even selfhatred. This makes me sad, real sad. So I thought that maybe making a thread about finding a partner could help people out.
    If you are lonely and sad and want to change something then keep reading.
    If you don't want to change something than stop reading.

    First of all I should make some things clear. This is not supposed to be a manual on how to get laid. I am writing this to ease the pain of which I have read so much in the past weeks. This is supposed to make girls notice you in another way. How you use this is of course your own decision.
    Secondly, I am writing this for desperate people in need of help. I don't care if some of this doesn't apply or if you have a friend who does what I tell you not to do and gets all the chicks. This is supposed to higher the chances for wide range of people. The individual means nothing.
    Thirdly, I will be harsh and I have dark humor. If you are easily offended please click this link and you will be redirected to cat video instead.

    Who am I to write such a manual?

    I am the little brother of 3 sisters. I peaked into the essence of the female soul and saw all its beauty and horror. It should be noted that I had many female companions throughout my life and never had problems in any way when it came towards women. I have seen what friends of mine do wrong and I have seen how little effort it takes to better oneself in a way to become more attractive to the opposite sex.

    Just one thing before we get started. Women are not objects. They are usually better at reading facial expressions then men and they notice when you think of them us stupid little girls.

    Lets start.

    1. It is your fault
    This is the truth. Sorry. I know you have all been getting advice like "be strong brah!" and "be yourself brah" "just try harder brah". Lately I have been reading stuff like "who needs women to be happy? Yeah lets give up on women". The entire internet is complaining about the friend zone and people all over the globe are whining.
    No. The only reason why you, after a thousand generations of your ancestors mating like rabbits with each other, seem to be the dead end of aeons of shagging is not because all of a sudden women are all "stupid whores who only like assholes" but it is you.
    The sooner you get this into your head the easier it will be to mend this problem. You have to accept that something is wrong before you can fix it.
    You will have to change. If you don't want to change than this thread is not for you. Stop reading and go watch cats on youtube. See the link above.
    If you continued reading this than you have accepted that there is a problem. I will be harsh and blunt, but I know my methodes work.
    Lets do this bro.

    2. We don't dress well
    Most men don't have a hand when it comes to fashion. Chances you are one of them. I know I am. There is however I way how to fix this.
    Wear clothes that fit. The size you are wearing right now is probably to large. If you have a sister or female friend, take them with you and go shopping if not ask a salesperson and explain them what you want. Figure out your size. This sounds trivial but is of the utmost importance.
    It is important that the clothes fit! If you are skinny you will look better with a fitting shirt than with a huge shirt. It will just make you look skinnier.
    If you are fat a shirt won't make you appear to be thin. Where does this logic even derive from? Size matters.
    You should be buying one colored shirts. Jeans that don't look worn out, don't have holes and are simply decent. Don't do all this fancy crap. You suck at it.
    Shoes are also very important. Girls look at shoes all the time - it is scary. Get decent, normal shoes. Running or sports shoes are not what we are looking for.
    What we want to achieve is a timeless neat, clean, decent look. It never goes out of style and it is never shitty.
    -one colored shirts and tops
    -pants that are one colored, not torn or worn out
    -shoes that look decent
    If it fits it will make you look better then the pasty nerd with his long hair and band shirt. Sounds familiar? Thought so bro.

    3. We don't smell good
    While we sit infront of our PC and let one rip while having our dinner in lonely solitude, girls light candles that make their room be smell like unicorns. Now spot the difference.
    Girls smell better then we do. Fact. If a guy walks past a girl and smells good, girls will turn around.
    Start smelling good today.
    Take a shower every day use only very little body lotion and a sponge and shower your entire body. Every day. Wash your hair every day. If you have some sort of skin condition get less aggressive shampoo and body lotion.
    Use deodorant. Every day.
    If you want to smell good and have a bad sense of smelling, like I do, don't use perfume use face lotion. I use Weleda.
    After your daily shower, with shampoo, body lotion, deodorant and face lotion we need good smelling clothes. Then we brush our teeth. Twice a day. If you have bad breath girls run like the devil himself is chasing them.
    How do we get good smelling clothes? By using a little bit more detergent and by hanging them up in way that the clothes don't overlap. Otherwise they will smell old and bad.
    I was told that my clothes often smell moldy by a roommate and she explained that it is because I use to little detergent and always fling my clothes on the drying line like I don't care. The truth is I didn't care. Because I didn't know. This shit should be taught in school, but nooooo I need to know that an objects falls towars the floor.
    No shit sherlock.
    Follow these rules and you will not smell bad. Ask a friend, mother, female or male friend who you trust. Tell them you want them to be honest. They are not helping you by being polite.
    Stop smoking. Your hands and your breath will smell bad. Your clothes will smell bad and your car and apartment will smell bad. Stop it. I don't give a shit about your health, only your smell. Want to up your chances of smelling good? Don't smoke.
    There are two groups of people that are endangered to bad smell.
    The first is fat people.
    Listen fatbros, be mindful towards this take your deodorant and your face lotion with you. You produce sweat as if you were frightend that McDonalds abolishes supersize.
    The second is black people.
    I don't know why, I don't care why. I don't want there to be a debate about race in this thread. It is what girls tell me. Listen blackbros get onto this! I told a blackbro of mine and he was horrified. Now he smells like the unicorn candles.
    If you have just been offended by my last couple of sentences there is a cat video on the top of this post for you.

    4. Hair
    Yes, yes I know. You have long hair and a beard because you will be in Valhalla soon. Or you are a tree hugger or a animal-lover or whatever.
    Listen bro, I love you I really do and that is why I have to say this: I don't care if you are a punk, hippy, viking, celt, wiccan, emo, metaler, pirate or whatever. The truth is your hair looks like a abstract art project. Cut it. Seriously, man that want to express their souls towards their apperance are just ridiculous. Get a grip on your life. Grow up. Women want a man, not a boy. You can only pull this off if you have a sense of fashion and if you did you wouldn't be desperate to find a girlfriend.
    Cut it.

    Facial hair is a different issue. I now this hippster trend is making everyone believe that a beard is manly or something, but the truth is a good looking beard is cost intensive. You need skill and determination to work it properly. Just growing it isn't enough. You don't look manly if you look unkept or like those cudle panda hippsters. Also you will never look like a lumberjack from the northern part of the world if you never chopped wood in your life. So please, please don't do it. Remember, we are looking for the timeless, neat, decent, always in style look. No experiments.

    5. Be yourself
    I mean it. I know, I know this sounds like I am mocking you after I told you to torch your old clothes, cut your hair and - dear lord - get into contact with water and soap, but I do mean it.
    Women do not care if you are a nerd, geek, athlet or pigeon collector. They seriously don't. They want what you want. Someone to love and someone to love them back. Listen to them. Ask questions show interesset if you have some, but don't fake it to much. Just talk about yourself and let them talk about themselves. Make them laugh.
    They love laughing.
    You are a person that is on a NoFap website. There IS strength in you. There IS willpower. Otherwise you wouldn't be here. You are a better man now. Be proud of yourself brother.
    However, don't be yourself to much at one sitting. "I like videogames" is enough. They don't need to know how many tries it took to kill some boss in your newest MMORPG and how many cool new attributes your new sword has.
    Don't tell them stuff if they can't follow. They just want to talk with you. Both ways. So talk.
    You don't need to lie. Just don't give them an overdosage of yourself. Let them know your madness little by little.
    They like being part of the conversation. They won't tell you for about an hour that they were looking for black highheels and couldn't find the right ones. And by god there are never black highheels like they imagen them. Never.

    6. Get comfortable around girls
    Just be comfortable, thats it. Go out there and get some.
    Hopefully you just paniced a little. Of course I do have a solution at hand. We will need to engage with women at a close distance on a regular basis in order to get used to it. How do we do this? Well first we need to meet some girls.
    Go infront of abortion clinics, the ones with tears in their eyes will do.
    Bro, you didn't seriously consider this did you? We take dance classes of course. Dance classes is probably the only place on earth that isn't an absolute sausage fest. There is always a lack of guys. Go there. Educate yourself, start dancing with many different girls.
    Also while dancing you will look into the others persons eyes all the time. This is something you should do while talking to a girl. People have been complaining for ages that girls don't give them signs, but they don't keep eyecontact. So look into her eyes while talking. It makes you appear confident and interessted in what she says. Which you should be.
    And if you really need a sign it will be in her eyes. Believe me.

    Follow those rules. The main reason why guys end up in the friendzone is because they are not pleasent to look or be near at. Because they don't look presentable and smell like roadkill.
    If you are attracted to a person or not is decided within the first seconds of laying an eye on them. This is the hard truth. This is how our body works. There needs to be a lot of very well going conversations and other factors to overcome this primal programming. If you are an unkept, smelly, skinny, fat creep the primal programming of a women will tighten up the vagina so much that you cold be producing dimonds in it.
    Don't be that guy. It is up to you. You can either either change little things about yourself and become a better and happier person or you can retreat back into your cave of loneliness and bitch about "all them western women being hoes and blowing jerks".
    Before we part I want to share two poems with you.
    All of a sudden I am getting all emotional right?

    Do this guys, I implore you. What is there to lose?
    Go out into the world an taste the marrow of life at its fullest.
    At least entertain what I have said for a couple of days before dismissing it.
    The world is out there - take it. Don't stay alone. You don't have to!
    If you think otherwise than sit down. Infront of your PC. Day in day out.
    You have got a life waste.

    You are the master of your own destiny.
    You are the ruler of every action you take.
    You can either light the fire within you, or cover it with bitterness, hate and sadness.
    Choose wisly.
    polip44, tIoD, Amarion and 18 others like this.
  2. oooo

    oooo Fapstronaut

    Thanks bro, i already do the things you mentioned.
    Except number 6, i have little social anxiety but it became better, the only problem for me is i am not going out there to meet new people.
    Don't think i like dance classes, any other suggestion?
  3. Chef Boy

    Chef Boy Fapstronaut

    I'm not a fan of the premise that our lives should be mapped out as a quest to get a girlfriend. It's a common theme on here and it's pathetic. You want to know the irony? Live your life, do your thing irrespective of women, and you'll be attractive to girls - your happiness and energy shouldn't be centred around pussy. You'll repel it if you live in this regard, anyway.

    Also, half this manual is common sense and directed at hermits who don't leave the house. I'd like to think most guys on here don't smell and know not to wear a pungent and stained tee-shirt, generally. Apologies for bashing this thread to this degree but it represents everything wrong with some of the people on here.
  4. Red Eagle

    Red Eagle Fapstronaut

    Thanks for the advice. When I started reading Advice No.2 I first thought this was going to be some stupid superficial bs but it is actually quite helpful. I thought that you would write guys have to wear certain expensive outfits but it's just making sure your clothes are clean, smell good and fit your body. Like that advice because it's very simple. Every guy can do it.

    These things you mentioned should be considered a no brainer most of the time. There are some exceptions of course especially when it comes to hair. Some guys can definetely have longer hair and still look good. But I agree that the average guy should keep it short.
    SONofVEnus likes this.
  5. buzzlightyear

    buzzlightyear Fapstronaut

    What did you like about it?
  6. Bale

    Bale Fapstronaut

    Interesting read; yes there is a lot of common sense in there, but knowing is not applying. I would like to add some nuance in the concept of dressing well and taking care of yourself. We all live in different countries and different regions of the world. People dress and behave in different manners. One thing remains constant though: people display different characteristics depending on their appearance in a specific area or social setting. If you want to become socially more successful, the right thing to do is to observe what the successful people around you do differently from you. You can even simply ask them for advice; they will be happy to help you out.
  7. about a girl

    about a girl Fapstronaut

    I love men with long hair ♡
    Sentinel and Deleted Account like this.
  8. Porkins

    Porkins Guest

    Wait wait wait wait...wait! McDonald's abolished supersizes?!

    about a girl likes this.
  9. Porkins

    Porkins Guest


  10. Porkins

    Porkins Guest

    All day? You rave,bro?

    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 23, 2016
  11. SONofVEnus

    SONofVEnus Fapstronaut

    what if I like to live in nature and wear jogging clothes all the time, wouldn't it be contradictory if i went out dressed all nicely, smelling good, which i totally agree with you is a proper way to contact a girl? Because if i like her to be my partner, she will need to know the truth...... i want to meet girls, but how to be true and honest, you know what i mean?
  12. SONofVEnus

    SONofVEnus Fapstronaut

    you are funny gaston, i like your jokes, specially inserts from movies...........
    really funny and creative..........

    i know it is probably impossible to answer my thinking, but i was actually serious. i live in a nature in a small cottage house for quite some time. i like it, but would be nice to meet a girl............
  13. SONofVEnus

    SONofVEnus Fapstronaut

    Not a bad idea!!!!! First photo specially!!! ;) This made me laugh :)
  14. Ostrich12

    Ostrich12 Fapstronaut

    I like this thread, it adds to the long list of does and don'ts, rules that need to be followed. I have only one piece of advice to someone who is worried about meeting girls. Just remember this. They aren't just girls, they are people. There are fat ones and thin ones, nice smelling ones and smelly ones. There are fashion conscious ones and ones how couldn't give a shit if they wore a bin bag all day. There are shy ones too, ones that are feeling just as scared about talking to you as you are. They are all just people.
    Try and make as many friends as possible, be gender-blind. One day one of those friends will fall in love with you (just make sure you notice when it happens).
    Jennica, Sentinel, SONofVEnus and 2 others like this.
  15. Thank you very much for the advice man and for taking the time to write.
    Gave me some perspective and the most shocking thing was, it is pretty much how it is. I too have somewhat long hair, not death-metal long, but not short either and yes, styling and cleansing is on another level - You don't wanna look like a dirty hipster, nor a plastic manga. Balance is key.
    I read it all and must say, I lack a little in no. 5 even though I really try and try and I want to succeed. What should I tell, how should I act. Is my life even interesting to her? < Now that's a shitty thought. No. 6 I'm totally fucked. Comfortable around girls, I really need to get. I'd be more comfortable around the president. I'm not much for taking classes, even though what you said with the dancing sounded like a dream and a bit like that Richard Gere movie where he has midlife crisis. Anyway, what I've found out is, I just have to jump right into it! Even though I'm scared shitless. Talk. Catch the flow. Be interested. Be presentable. That's what I usually didn't do, although I'm better than before.
    I maintain eye-contact and receive shy smiles and (sometimes) blushes, ever since I got more comfortable in myself.
    Now I need to be comfortable around girls. That is THE ULTIMATE challenge.

    I did see the cat video too. Fuck me, they were cute.
  16. Holy shit balls you shoulda gotta load of my kitty cat threads here back in the day, SALUTE to any of my homies who caught those :D
  17. Kiriakos

    Kiriakos Fapstronaut

    Ok seriously, this is the best thread I have read. Guys looking for a gf, do everything @Mera says. Don't worry about #6, it comes with practice, and you'll get plenty of practice if you do the rest. Seriously. First of all, if you put effort into being clean, fresh, and looking good, you will feel better about yourself. Also, if you do these things and carry yourself with confidence, you will literally turn every female head your direction and ladies will be lining up to talk to you!! There is an inexhaustible supply of women in the world. Start talking to some of them!
    Red Eagle likes this.
  18. Harvhe

    Harvhe Fapstronaut

    I skipped point 1 - 4 and erased from my memory point 6

    5 is all you need, not even with the additional words tagged on.

    I dress garishly, my hair is a mess, i probably smell of old-spice or some tacky aftershave i found in a bin or a hand-me down of a unwanted christmas present but that's just a collation of my character. If they aren't interested, i can go through the steps of 1-4 and to some extent 6 forever but it wont change the facts. What you want to do superficially is up to you, moreso a fact of respecting yourself than preening for others.

    some 8 odd billion humans with roughly 80 years approx between them to find someone that they value mutually, not very hard when its a haystack made out of a ratio of 70/30 percent needles to hay

    I wouldn't worry so much about it as worry about why aren't you out there looking like right now? Or if you can't get out, lay down some truthful bait and reel them in.
  19. ukmercenary

    ukmercenary Fapstronaut

    I agree with the OP however "being your self " being your self hasent got you laid so far trust me it wont any time soon. You need to take massive action you want to be "your best self" do you do that you need to get better in all aspects of your life. Honest if I would recommend anyone who wants to meet more women to get "RSD The Blue Print" by Tyler Durden.
    HereAndThere likes this.
  20. Moogie

    Moogie Fapstronaut

    There is a lot of advice on YouTube. Look up alpha male on YouTube.

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