How to get dates?

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by hope2overcome_, Nov 28, 2019.

  1. hope2overcome_

    hope2overcome_ Fapstronaut

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    I get like no matches in online dating. The few matches I got, I received no responses. There wasn't even a conversation to be had. Ever.

    I get a lot of attention in real life from females. I am definitely above average in looks but I am extremely and I mean extremely shy.

    What can I do? How do you guys get dates?
     
    cr7da8055 and Mr.Conquerer like this.
  2. letter

    letter Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Try doing something like Toastmasters.

    Practicing public speaking is a great way to build tools for communication, and it's a great place to confront your shyness without repercussion for failures.
     
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  3. hope2overcome_

    hope2overcome_ Fapstronaut

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    Im a master of public speaking and have given many speeches to crowds of over 200+ but girls are kryptonite to me. I fear women much more. I fear the social stigma of looking like a thirsty loser much worse. Whenever I am near a girl I just feel like there are hundreds of guys she could be talking to that are better than me. All my insecurities come out and I close up and run try and find a way to run away.
     
  4. letter

    letter Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Check out this guy then

     
  5. Pendejo

    Pendejo Fapstronaut

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    Either you think that you are more good looking than what you actually are or you used very bad pics on these apps, it makes no sense you got barely matches if you are good looking and get female attention in real life.

    Anyway why would you use online dating apps if girls in real life show interest in you? Just talk to these girls instead.
     
    HVL85 likes this.
  6. hope2overcome_

    hope2overcome_ Fapstronaut

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    I am scared to death to approach a girl, read my comment above. Also my insecurities are shoved right in my face when I even think about it. I am a very bad case. Yes you are right. I used some very bad pics. 1 shirtless pic and another pic of me just smiling. I dont even have a single body pic of me standing up. Ugh!!
     
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  7. Pendejo

    Pendejo Fapstronaut

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    You should try to overcome your insecurities, why would you be insecure if you know that they are interested on you? There's literally no reason to be insecure.

    Ask a friend to take some good pics of you.

    If you don't have a very good physique i would avoid including shirtless pics, but if you want to include pics of your body they have to be of your in the beach or in a pool party, you wont get matches with shirtless mirror selfies on your bathroom.

    I have heard that Ashwagandha is good for anxiety and also boosts testosterone, so you might want to look into it.
     
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  8. superninjared

    superninjared Fapstronaut

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    What dating apps are you using? I'm getting a ton of matches and numbers. Maybe you need a better strategy if you have the looks you should be getting good results. It takes time.
     
  9. hope2overcome_

    hope2overcome_ Fapstronaut

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    tinder, bumble, coffeemeetsbagels. I realize I have shit pics. Whats ur strategy tho?
     
  10. the alpha project

    the alpha project Fapstronaut

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    Just do it.

    Why live in fear?
     
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  11. superninjared

    superninjared Fapstronaut

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    TL;DR Online dating works once you have honed your skills. I went on a first date last night and there was lots of touching and we made out at the end.

    Check out my post here to see the dating apps i'm using https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/what-is-this-best-dating-app-to-meet-women.257172/

    Your first problem is that the apps you are using are not that great when it comes to getting matches and conversations. I would prefer a combination of hinge, okcupid and match.com. But anyway i am using the apps you have plus a lot more that is one of the secrets to success. You have profiles everywhere therefore you have substantially increased your reach and exposure. Because every app has a different group of people and you are using them all. Get rid of the shit pictures it's not doing anything for you. Online dating is a massive subject i can't tell you everything in one post i can only give you some pointers.

    1. More dating apps
    2. Lots of good pictures close up and full body (avoid topless unless you want the girls to think that you are just one of those guys that sends you know what type of pictures). Even put in some random weird ones where you are doing something funny or weird or you have animals. Group photos too if you can
    3. Custom openers for each person try to be funny read the profile and avoid copy and pasting openers between girls
    4. An interesting profile bio which shows your personality (i had a girl give me her number last night just because of the words i used in my profile)
    5. Check out some youtube dating coach channels. based zeus, the attractive man etc...

    There is a lot more to this but like i said its a lot for one post :D
     
    Last edited: Dec 1, 2019
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  12. hope2overcome_

    hope2overcome_ Fapstronaut

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    This is great. Like really great stuff. Thanks.
     
  13. HVL85

    HVL85 Fapstronaut

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    Perhaps stay away from dating apps instead? I came to realize they're actually detrimental to your mental health. Especially to that of men.

    And yes! So many guys overrate themselves. It's an overcompensation of poor self confidence. And define 'tons of matches'! Three every hour, 20 a day? Or 2 a month? This is the internet, where everyone can claim anything.

    I'd say the solution is NOT more dating apps. It's less. It's more real life contact. Dating apps are in superior favor of women. Ratios go up to 1:10 women-men or higher.

    Even IF you are really goodlooking, got a great job/income with great social status and a satisfying life.. you will probably still attract shallow women. Hell, if you're all that I just summed up, then you don't need a dating app as you will meet plentyful in real life. Same goes for women, any woman with a decent self image doesn't need the app to attract a man.

    Dating apps have basically two types of women; those who can't find someone to meet their impossible demands, and those who are desperate. Which do you like best?

    It might work if you've got great photos, a convincing bio and you're age is below 25. But just don't expect any miracles.
     
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  14. Optimum Fortitude

    Optimum Fortitude Fapstronaut

    Nicely put. I have the same problem. But it's so bad I'm anxious to even put myself out there in dating apps (paranoid girls I know would see me awkwardly advertising myself on there and make a meme out of me). Currently doing psychotherapy to fix my shit, but the cross is heavy.
     

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