How to get out of my comfort zone and start living

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by oooo, Jul 7, 2017.

  1. oooo

    oooo Fapstronaut

    Hi brothers and sisters,

    I have decided i need to get more out of life.

    My main problem is that i have some kind of social anxiety.
    It is not an extreme form in which i am totally incapable of meeting people and communicating.

    However, i am at the point that i do not have any friends to meet with and do fun things with.
    My girlfriend broke up with me, and my best friend died.

    But i would like to get new friends and off course a girlfriend.
    I know i have to offer value to people but this mourning feeling of social anxiety holds me back to build up friendships and relations.

    People tend to think i am a arrogant person, but that is only because i don't know how i should behave in certain situations which leads me to do my own things and don't communicate with people.

    Furthermore, i am super ashamed of the fact that i don't have friends. And i am scared to tell this to people, because i know how they would react.

    So my main question is what should i be doing, to make progress.
    I only need to do one year more before i go on internship abroad which will hopefully change a lot for me.

    But than again i think it will be hard to get relationship and get friends out of it. Besides, everyone seem to have already friends and there is no place for me.

    What's more, currently my day consists most of the time out off staying in my room, going to the gym every day, working on my business or on study. But i hate the fact that time is passing and i don't progress...

    Hope someone here can give me some solide advice.

    My goals for now are:

    Stop PMO
    Meditation daily
    Learning Spanish
    Cold showers.

    I Free I likes this.
  2. JesusGreen

    JesusGreen Fapstronaut

    ^ Cold approach! It's what I'm doing to face my social anxiety. Approaching and starting conversations with cute people of the opposite (or same if that's what you're into!) sex can be one of the most anxiety-inducing things there is socially. In fact, "approach anxiety" is so common that almost everyone who //doesn't// have social anxiety still experiences a similar level of anxiety before approaching someone to what a person with social anxiety experiences to all social interactions.

    So it's a great way to throw yourself in at the deep end with regards to facing your fear. I did it for the first time for just 2 hours last week, approached about ~20 different girls. I was super nervous and anxious beforehand, but I actually had a ton of fun, felt so confident afterwards.. and now I'm excited to do it again very soon!

    It's also a great way to make new friends, especially if you're approaching girls. Why? Because if you meet girls who have similar interests to you, girls actually usually have bigger social circles than guys, so you can meet more friends through her, like a domino effect. :)
    oooo likes this.
  3. Runtilmylegsdropoff

    Runtilmylegsdropoff Fapstronaut

    JesusGreen nailed it. You just do it, like talking to girls for example. The more you do it, the easier it gets.
    oooo likes this.
  4. I Free I

    I Free I Guest

    Stay Strong ! Being alone is not bad, Being lonely is .

    Embrace The Lone Wolf & Grow With Yourself ! Until your ready to make some new moves ... Find Yourself First .
    oooo and AM141 like this.
  5. Israfeel

    Israfeel Fapstronaut

    Hi my dear brother.
    I've been in a similar situation and i Know it can be tough.
    But as soon as you start having conversations and relation with new people you come to see how delightful and easy it was.

    First you need to handle this social anxiety problem then worry about having a girlfriend.
    Brother we are Social-Beings. You need to have both male and female friends, people you trust, love and can share different parts of you life with.

    My Advice for you is this: Start joinig groups that you love in the place you study, work and you neighborhood. Go find people that you have common interests with and at the same time, upgrade your knowledge about making friends, being charming and making good conversations. Youtube helped me a lot...

    Wish you a Great reboot : )
    oooo likes this.
  6. oooo

    oooo Fapstronaut

    Hi thanks for your kind words!

    I know i should handle my social anxiety but i don't go to social events.
    The only places i meet people are actually the gym and school.
    At school i had a few people i did chill with but that was only on school.
    It never came to the point of doing something outside of school together.
    My school is also 45km away including most of the other students are also living there which means all the people go out on Saturday and do things together.
    Pff i get so frustrated by the fact i can't communicate freely in the way i know i should.

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