How to go to the beach as a recovering Porn Addict?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Sinbad, Sep 13, 2019.

  1. Sinbad

    Sinbad Fapstronaut

    I haven't been to the beach in some years. I plan to go there on my own tomorrow.
    Right now, I don't think I'll be able to NOT look at attractive women with little clothes on.
    1. How would you handle this?
    2. What effect do you think this will have on my recovery?
     
    Jwarrior77 likes this.
  2. I have enough trouble not looking when they have their clothes on, so yeah, the beach can be difficult. I am guessing you are under 25 and will
    likely be with or at least be most interested in women of that age or younger, would that be right?
    I'd probably want some kind of back up plan. For example, let's say I was starting to feel uncomfortable or anxious, I would want to be able to discreetly leave completely, or chill for 10 minutes in the car or away from people. A nice walk on the beach might be great no matter how you feel.
    Be good to yourself and talk to yourself. No one can control every thought that enters their minds. And it's easy for us to feel extra shame when we realize how badly porn has gotten to us. But we can't let every arousal get to us. We need to be men. So if you are feeling some arousal, admit it to yourself. Accept it. But tell yourself that's as far as it goes.
    But I'd also make an effort to be friendly and a gentleman to every person I meet there. Just commenting on the weather and the beauty of the day to others can do wonders for your self-esteem. But this won't happen if you keep feeling shame.
    I hope it is a memorable day and I think you'll do fine.
     
    SOLDIER MAN likes this.
  3. Sinbad

    Sinbad Fapstronaut

    Thanks. I'm 34 yo actually and I've got a thing for older women. It's complicated. I wish I was this innocent young guy you think I am. If I can get to talk to them I'd be happy. Other times, and I repeat it's been awhile, when I was into pmo, I didn't get further than staring in awe from a distance. That's what I'm afraid can happen again.
     
    Ogikubo likes this.
  4. The good news is 34 sounds young to me!
    I'd be interested to know how it went, so if you want to, please give us an update. But again, I have a feeling you won't regret it.
     
    Sinbad likes this.
  5. twistedshadows23

    twistedshadows23 Fapstronaut

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    Man I went to a concert the other day and there were beautiful women everywhere in their festival attire. Definitely triggered me and felt very disappointing and put a lot of doubt in my mind, but when I got through it my commitment to quitting porn was strengthened. There's no way to go through this without seeing stuff that's gonna trigger you. Not relapsing after something triggering is very rewarding.
     
    Ogikubo likes this.
  6. Fallensoldier1

    Fallensoldier1 Fapstronaut

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    I wish I had a way. Going to the beach, and having a condo on the beach with the windows facing the beach, is what made me loose my 204 day streak. Great looking women everywhere!!! Like mentioned above, I have a hard enough time not looking when they are fully clothed, unfortunately.
     
    Ogikubo likes this.
  7. Sinbad

    Sinbad Fapstronaut

    It's been a wonderful day. It wasn't as hot or crowded as I imagined. I saw loving families, smiling couples, playing children, friends having fun. Of course I saw some beautiful women too. But it wasn't so bad. Maybe I'm not how I was back then, or not so much.
     
    Fallensoldier1 and Ogikubo like this.
  8. That is great! I am really glad to hear your day turned out well.
     
  9. Get_It

    Get_It Fapstronaut

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    Just smile and say hi to them.
     
    Sinbad likes this.
  10. Sinbad

    Sinbad Fapstronaut

    Thanks for keeping me accountable. It helped throughout the day.
    I thought today was gonna be the day I reset the counter. Truth is I got lucky. It was pretty calm.
     
    Last edited: Sep 14, 2019
    Ogikubo likes this.
  11. twistedshadows23

    twistedshadows23 Fapstronaut

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    Good to hear man. I’ve been avoiding places I used to enjoy because of triggers. First of all, I’ve found that you can never escape triggers they will find you lol. Secondly, it’s good to hear that eventually things won’t trigger me so much.
     

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