How to live as ugly lonely man

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by jax2k19, Feb 18, 2021.

  1. jax2k19

    jax2k19 Fapstronaut

    First, sorry for my English. It isn't my native language.

    I'm 26 years old. I never had a girlfriend. I never kissed someone. I don't have any friends or mates. I'm socially awkward person and it's hard for me to get into in some relationships.

    I'm feel like a weirdo because of this. People at my age thinking about settling down, not about having first relationship. They are experienced in relationships and they know what they want for future. I think I'm retarded and it's really pushes me down. Lonellines is overwhelming for me. It's hard for me to focus on something constructive. Hobbies are less interesting for me. I want to improve myself, improve my skills but on other hand I don't see any point in doing this.

    I think also that I am ugly guy. No girls even look at me.What's worse, I'm balding at my young age. "Shaved head" look doesn't suits me at all which is really depressing. I feel that I won't be in a satisfactory relationship.

    Do you have any tips or advices how to overcome obstacles in lonely man life or how to spend life as lonely man?
     
  2. Dude I recommend you to start small for example drink 8 glasses of water a day. Basically start doing the little things also your not a loser since your in this forum trying to improve yourself. Put one last thing is that sex and women isn't really important having a purpose is everything.
     
  3. jax2k19

    jax2k19 Fapstronaut

    Thank you for your kind words. I know that having purpose in life meaning a lot but when I look to the future I see everything in dark colors. Then I questioned myself "What's the point for it?". Moreover the feeling of sadness is massive and sometimes it's hard to focus on anything. You can be self-disciplined i.e. for twenty days but when feeling of loneliness is the same (or even worse) it's hard to copy with that. When you see that you won't be happy in the future it's hard to motivate yourself to do some extra things.
     
  4. The Archangel

    The Archangel Fapstronaut

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    I'm not ugly, in fact many girls have called me hot, cute, attractive, etc (although I personally don't think I'm that attractive). Many girls liked and approached me in high school, I've even had a couple of girls ask me for sex, have sexted with many girls and guess what: I've never had a girlfriend and I'm still a virgin. Haven't even had my first kiss. I've seen many ugly people I know and don't know with absolutely stunning girlfriends. As cliché and repetitive as it sounds, personality triumphs looks. Although I'm at least decent looking, I'm also quite insecure, anxious, awkward and cowardly which is why I've never had a girlfriend. Girls want men who don't give a shit about their disadvantages and live life fearlessly. I'm definitely nowhere near that level yet, but I'm trying and so should you.

    Looks are like a car's aesthetics (color, interior design, etc) and personality is like a car's performance (engine, speed, acceleration, handling, etc). No one wants a good looking car that drives like shit and many people praise cars that look like shit, but drive excellently.
     
    Last edited: Feb 20, 2021
    Jedi2021, ElSabio, Ekhangel and 7 others like this.
  5. bluemax4

    bluemax4 Fapstronaut

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    Consider getting a pet that would probably help with your loneliness. Workout, eat better, avoid PMO & don't worry about women - you've got to focus on yourself & your life.
     
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  6. Feelslikezoom23

    Feelslikezoom23 Fapstronaut

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    1st tip

    Change what you can...

    Build an incredible body to attract females. Do whatever it takes.

    2nd tip

    Become wealthy. Buy a nice car, own a nice house.Woman are attracted to men with money. Trust me.
     
  7. Oliver Gunter

    Oliver Gunter Fapstronaut

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    Join a gym or a martial arts club. You will train your body and get more attractive and confident and at the same time you meet new people to socialize with. (I understand that due to the pandemic this might not be possible right now).
    Doing voluntary work will also lead to meeting new people and enhancing your social skills.
     
    Jedi2021 and Heracles1268 like this.
  8. VincentRParker

    VincentRParker Fapstronaut

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    First, let me say that I care about you. You are my brother and I don't like my brothers to be sad. There are more people that care about you than you will ever know.

    But, I'm not going to be nice to you. You didn't come here to have people say poor you. If you did, you don't belong here. This place is for people who are into self improvement and healing. Weak people want pity parties. Weak people feel like victims. Victims never have good lives. They never take responsibility. They never take control. You can't help a victim because they are so dillusional they can't even admit they LIKE being a victim. That means they don't have to try. They don't have to work hard. It's always someone else's fault. It's always because they were born "different." BS!

    I'm not sure if you like building crap or if you think you can see the future. Maybe you're just insane. Maybe it's both. Let me explain...

    Let's say someone wants to build a boat. What do they do first? They visualize it. They think about what it has to have. What it looks like. Where the seats will go and what kind of engine it will have. They make a plan.

    So, reading your post here's your plan: nobody will ever want to have my babies and I'll be sad my whole life and people will make fun of me and I'll just sit at home crying and playing with myself.

    I mean, if that's the kind of life you want go for it. More power to you. I want you to have what you want. And if that's what you want keep thinking that way. Be my guest. Have fun.

    That's not what you want? Then why are you fantasizing about it? Start fantasizing what you DO want! Imagine yourself with a healthy body. Imagine yourself with money. Imagine yourself with a woman. Imagine yourself smiling. Imagine yourself happy. Feel it! Our imagination is like placing an order with our mind. THIS is what I want. THIS is my boat.

    You are insane and crazy because you think you know what's in the future. I'm not being funny. You are insane. You have a problem because you really think you know. But you don't. Someone could shoot you in the head tomorrow. You don't know the future so stop pretending like it. You say what's the point I'll never be happy. I call BS! Stop thinking about a future that will never happen and start thinking about one you want. At least that is a little more enjoyable.

    It doesn't end there. Of course not. You can't think about a boat and it just appears. All you're doing is making a plan. I want to look good. Great plan. Now, go for a run. Lift some weights. Jump a rope. Not once, not twice, every freaking day. Never stop. We don't stop when we're tired. We stop when we are done.

    As you build a better body you will get more confident. Why? Because you look better? Hell no. You're ugly. You can't change that. You will get more confident because YOU took control. Women love that shit! They don't care how you look. They care if you are a man. Men are strong. Men take control.

    Do you think women like men because they have money? They do but NOT for the money. They want a man that can make money. There is a difference. A man with money can become poor. And if you have a woman that will happen real fast. Women are designed to spend resources. But a man that can make money will never run out. He can provide for her. He can strengthen her. A poor man can only weaken her.

    See what I'm saying? You live in a fantasy world where you are small and weak and lonely and pathetic. Stop it. I know fat, ugly people who have beautiful wives. I know handsome people who are alone. It's because one has something real to offer, the other does not.

    If you feel weak, if you feel ugly, if you fantasize about a bad life you have nothing to offer but a bad life. Nobody wants a bad life. So stop it. Build an amazing life.

    Here's one more piece of advice. You need to get to know yourself. Because it sounds to me like you're running away from yourself. You don't like yourself. If you don't like yourself how the hell are you going to convince me to like you?

    I bet if you really spent some time with yourself you would like yourself. Pretend like you are two people. Sit down in the quiet and talk to yourself.

    Sometimes you might just have to listen to how you feel. Don't run away from it. Accept it. Do you feel lonely. OK, really feel it. Become comfortable with it. Because once you accept it, it no longer has power. Don't fight it. Don't get rid of it. It's part of you! Accept that part of you. Then it won't bother you. It won't have to. The more you try to get rid of it, the more it will hold onto you. It has a voice. It is real. It needs your approval.

    Set aside half an hour of you time. Sometimes you will just have to ask yourself questions. Really dig for the answers. Sometimes you will make plans. Sometimes you'll just pretend you are a close friend and just sit together in silence. If you get to love yourself the world will love you too.

    To sum it all up: stop thinking you know what the future holds. Only crazy dillusional people think that. Start thinking about the future you want. That's what creators and inventors do.

    Next, work on building your future. Make a plan and never stop when you are tired. Stop when it is done.

    Finally, learn to love yourself. Nobody will ever love you. Ever. I'm sorry but it's the truth. No woman will ever love you. She only loves what you can give her. If you can't give her anything, she will leave you.

    And don't think you will ever love a woman either. You love what she can give you. Sex. Someone to talk to. Someone to help clean the house. That kind of love is an illusion. Companionship is real and good and nice. Love is a lie.

    Except love of self. Love yourself (which means truly know yourself) and nothing else will ever really matter again. That is the only real love. Because once you love yourself, you will know true love and can then love the world.

    I hope that made sense. Good luck.
     
  9. The best person who can give u advice is this guy bcs he is fuckin Mcloving.
     
  10. Oliver Gunter

    Oliver Gunter Fapstronaut

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    Chick-a chick-a yeah
     
  11. V∧DΞR

    V∧DΞR Fapstronaut

    Take a break. GO somewhere.
    Hope this vid inspires you. It has some swearing in it. But it is beautiful.
     
  12. Archangel01

    Archangel01 Fapstronaut

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    I think men aren't "made" to be good looking. Men are made to invent things, to capture new worlds and to forward humanity. Look for your purpose. If you are looking long enough you'll find it and then make it your life mission to become the best in that field. Work hard, every day.
    If you are on a mission you start to forget about unimportant things as looks or measuring yourself on standards that doesn't apply to you.

    This guy shiey in the video above is one of the baddest mothafuckas I've ever seen. Watch his videos and listen to him. Sometimes this guy throws out unbelievable words of wisdom!
     
    jax2k19 likes this.
  13. CrimsnBlade

    CrimsnBlade Fapstronaut

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    Look at all this:

    First thing to do, stop speaking these negative things over yourself. Speak positive. Say it until you believe it. Every day, tell yourself who you are and what you want to become.

    If you look up morning affirmations (Hal Elrod is a great resource, author of the Miracle Morning) you will find a lot about this. If you don't think you're worth anything, then you won't be. If you think are are worth something, if you believe you have what it takes, then you've already won. All that's left is to start living like the you that you believe you are.
     
    Roady and jax2k19 like this.
  14. fan_of_all_might

    fan_of_all_might Fapstronaut

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    Think you need to stop looking at things like a competition. Ugly means that you're lower in the totem poll than other people. That's just one perspective. My advice? Don't even play that game. You can not change what your face looks like (unless you get surgery , even then there's limits). So why even spend another second worrying about it? It won't help you. Like others here said you can go work on yourself, go outside , make a lot of friends, be playful and kind. We're all humans on this Earth of roughly equal value so why wouldn't someone want to be with you ? Especially if you are a light in the darkness.
     
  15. Do you to want to cope with your life or do you want to change your life?
     
    Last edited: Mar 7, 2021
  16. brassknucks

    brassknucks Fapstronaut

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    Bro, just how ugly are you?
     
  17. jax2k19

    jax2k19 Fapstronaut

    Balding, pointy head, weak chin, patchy beard and there is more.
     
    YoungLenny likes this.
  18. YoungLenny

    YoungLenny Fapstronaut

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    bro here is a tip: try not to spend to much time infront of the mirror
     
    FellatiousD likes this.
  19. AptDude

    AptDude Fapstronaut

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    I think this is huge, don't even play games you cannot win. Always come back to the places in life where you can make changes and check with yourself if you succeeded or not.

    If you're feeling low, play easy games (e.g. I will make my bed because I don't feel capable of anything else). You don't need to make perfect decisions, just small and trivial changed that will get you going.

    You can do it, man
     
    jax2k19 likes this.
  20. WOODROW

    WOODROW Fapstronaut

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    You arevnot weird nor odd. I have been single for years...no girlfriends, never married. My strong Christain faith has influenced me a great deal. Don't worry. I have confidence in bring a leader. A lot of women want to call the shots in so manyvthings. I cannot follow that.
     
    ELITE2BE likes this.

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