How to make friendship with girls

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by SullivanKyle, Nov 11, 2018.

  1. SullivanKyle

    SullivanKyle Fapstronaut

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    I'll post here a quick story and giving you my opinion about todays friendships and I hope you can contribute with your opinion too.

    This week I was talking to a woman she knows me since I was a kid and we're friends. Probably 34yo and already married with two kids. She was the best friend of my uncle when he lived here in my city 15 years ago. We're talking about some stuffs in her Shoe store and she started to remember their true friendship. She's pretty I would say 8/10 for her age and she said they were like best friends back in that time. My uncle was 23 or 25 and she was between 18 to 20 I imagine. The fact is they have a real nice friendship. I could see her eyes shinning. Remembering and telling me about that era.

    My uncle is a good looking guy even being a 5,7" and skinny. He always had an awesome persona. He's the kinda guy that is not shy, have no fears, he's very confident, any person that he talks start to like him, won a lot of championships and did a lot of cool stuffs in his life. He knows how to talk to any kinda person especially women. He had tons of pretty girlfriends in his 20's but now he's 39 and married. He's the kinda guy that any guy would like to be like him, specially me. Well, on this point you already see I'm a big fan of my uncle. He's like an inspiration for me. But this is not the point of this post.

    I was thinking about their friendship. By what she told me, they never had sex. My uncle had a normal bike, he used to sleep in her house every weekend because they did a reunion all Saturdays to discuss about their dancing group so that usually ended up late. He used to sleep in her house and that was okay, as I said they were close friends and her parents like him too much. I couldn't imagine me having a true friendship with a girl. Since I was a kid I always see girls for dating and sex purposes. I actually have some girl friends but it's not like that because I know they wouldn't invite me to have lunch in their houses or just hanging out as friends. I know it's a bad way to see girls. And on this forum a lot of guys are trying to change this mentality including me. I truly wanna change my thoughts about women. This is hard! I already posted talking about my porn addiction story and it started since I was 5yo so it's damn hard.

    She told me that between 15-18 years ago they didn't have smartphones with internet obviously so the only way to talk to someone was in person, sending paper letters or calling with that public telephones. Cellphones were too expensive. And that forced people to make meetings and reunions to talk to each other. But now we have our iphones or androids with whatsapp, messenger, etc. And people are being more
    accommodated so we don't need to go outside to see friends and talk to them because there are facebook, instagram, netflix etc. I'm not judging these kinda stuffs. I personally don't like that anymore and don't even use social media specially because of nofap.

    So developing social skills is being harder now from my perspective. In that time my uncle was part of a dancing group of my city, the same group that I'm in now. I joined that because I was trying to make new friends since I had no friends overhere. But it's not what I was thinking. We have our whatsapp group so we don't need to make meetings to talk about our group's stuff like how was in that time.

    We know that nofap helps a lot with social anxiety and meeting real people. But it's harder knowing that todays people are often less sociable because of internet. I guess back in time nofap would be too much easier.

    One of my goals in nofap life is to leave this "women only serve to sex and dating" mind and start have friendship with them changing my mind to "That girl is cool I guess we could be good friends". I admit I have difficulty on making friendship with people. I'm a quiet guy, I don't talk to much, I think if I have nothing good to say it's better to stay quiet. But we know people (specially girls) like people that are more outgoing and I'm not like that yet.

    So guys have you had any kinda experience like that? Having good friendship with girls without sex or dating purposes or having difficulty on that like me.

    Can nofap help with that? How to change this mentality?

    There is a YouTuber called Seth Alexander. He posted a video talking about his friendship with girls and it was awesome.
     
    jcamp321 likes this.
  2. SullivanKyle

    SullivanKyle Fapstronaut

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    "It ends in nothing but lonliness..." [/QUOTE]
    Thanks for your reply! You said everything! That's one of the reasons why I have no female friends. My mind is so used to treat women as objects, that is almost impossible and weird to think we could be just friends.
     
    jcamp321 likes this.

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