How to manage post break up depression?

Hey man, sorry about your relationship. It must be very hard for you right now, it's not a nice situation you're in.

Based on what you wrote -and I don't want to jump into conclusions but I will- the answer to the first question is yes. Let me explain. So she said that you're a really nice guy ("purest" and "best" screams nice guy) and that she felt a lot of pressure and responsibility when she was with you, because she was afraid that she might hurt you, right? I take that you're a really sensitive person. No problem with that, I'm the same. Now what my experiences tell m,e that what happened was that you made your happiness too much dependent of her. Like your only (or greatest) source for joy and happiness was her, or your relationship. Therefore she felt pressurized because she really wanted to avoid upsetting you, and maybe she had to be very cautious not to offend you in any way. Leaning on the other this much smothers them and it's a fatal poison to the relationship.

It's okay to be very close in a relationship emotionally, that's not the problem. The problem is when the other feels that they are your best support. That's too much responsibility for anyone to bear, and also unfair of you because you avoid your own responsibility to take care of yourself emotionally. Now, I cannot be sure that this happened, but does what I wrote sounds familiar?

Well, masturbating sure won't help, so forget that. What happened happened, it's not her fault, it's not your fault. Lick your wounds, do anything to divert your mind. Your brain and soul will slowly process the negative feelings, don't worry about them. Let the natural healing take its course. But when you're feeling better, you should think about what happened, because this is a habit, and it will happen again if you don't watch out. What you should do, is to find yourself something that gives you happiness and joy, and it doesn't involve a romantic relationship. For me for example this was kung fu training and doing voluntary work. Physical exercise and being around other people helps a lot, so I'd suggest that you open up google and see what the city or district you're living in has to offer. Good luck bro!

 

Let me see...well, there is this book called No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover, which I read a few months ago and it really helped me to see being a nice guy in a different light.

Hehh, I know your first reaction, I was the same, did the same, and it ended in a train wreck so that's why I suggest that you do otherwise. Because you see the pattern? You lean on a girl emotionally. It burdens her, finally she snaps and kicks you out. Then you think about getting in another relationship, which means...leaning on a girl emotionally, to cope with the feelings of the previous breakup. It's the same thing. As I said, it's a habit, you'd repeat the same mistake again.

Forget about relationships for a while, you'll spare a whole lot of emotional pain for you and for the others as well. Because really, you're not the only one getting hurt in a situation like this. I'd suggest joining a club in an area you like to be around people and to elevate your mood by doing stuff that you like. Ever wanted to learn dancing? Maybe how to cook? Are you interested in a foreign language? You found yourself intrigued by the guys who train in the park? Now is the time to get out, you don't have a gf which means you'll have plenty of time and money to do that.
I'd also suggest reading the book I mentioned (it's kinda short) and maybe researching the topic even more.

Now let me give you a friendly warning. Feel free to dismiss my ideas and while agreeing with them intellectually, not do anything about it. But I promise you, this will cripple each and every relationship you'll ever have, okay? Because it's not about the girl, it's about you. So if you ever want to live in a happy and fulfilling relationship / marriage both for you and your partner, you need to do something about this.

Not easy, but I've been there, done that, it can be overcome. All the best!