How to meet women outside of dating apps?

Hey,

Here's what I do:

1. Participate in different organisations etc. Plenty of chances to meet other members. Also sports teams and trainings are a good way to meet others. I did find however that going to the gym on my own is not a good option, but say joining a basketball team or say karate, works quite well.

2. Have you tried meetup.com? It full of social events. If you live in a reasonably big town you should be able to find socializing events there.

3. Get a dog. I meet plenty of people just by walking my dog in the park.

But mainly, don't be afraid to talk to strangers. After all, we all have more in common than we might initially think. Really, we are all in the same boat. We are all born and bound to die. We all have dreams, aspirations and hopes. We all have people we love and things we like. Don't be scared. Just talk to them. Even "I don't want anything from you, but I have to tell you that you are really pretty" is always a nice thing to say.

 

Well I am no great guru but I assure that a woman can smell your fears, and they're not attracted to this.
So my advice is to follow your passion.
Your trying to get in shape, I met plenty of women in gym, they will like you more since they'll see that you are confident in what you are doing and most important you'll meet someone and you have already one thing to talk about with her.
So I repeat if you're afraid of your appareance go where you are the best you and meet people there.
The best of luck

 

At the gym

 

I met quite a few people at meetup, I joined a meditation and positive thinking group, there always seemed to be some friendly and attractive women there. Also once I am off this shift work (next month), I will be joining an amateur dramatics group and also have a try at improv (I know this may not be ideal for you as it will probably contain the potential to drink). I think dating apps have made people think they don't need to put themselves out there.

Sure it may not be as easy as swiping, but putting yourself out there I think will have a great many other benefits (friends and social skills).

 

Pilates or Yoga is a good supplement to the gym, will help your posture and physical/mental health and, best of all, classes are like 70%+ women
Go along, be friendly and curious and NOT PERVY and you are bound to make a few friends, maybe more...

 

It's always worth having a few close male friends too, even if you are ultimately looking for love/etc. Get to know those super friendly guys at the gym who seem to know everyone, they are sure to be able to let you know where to meet girls in your town or even hook you up with someone, who knows?

 

Hey,

My impression is that most men rely to dating apps, because they are afraid of approaching women in real life. So they get their dates via texting. Problem is that if they don't have the courage to approach a women, how do they want to take action on the date?

In your personal situation I would start with approaching women on the street. Most women are frustrated with the fact that they get approached so rarely in every day life. Usually they send lots of signals, but men barely take the chance. At least in my country that's the case. In my opinion this has a lot to do with online porn habit of most men, and online dating.

You can do it with a direct approach like "Hey, I just noticed you and thought you're very attractive. What's your name?" or if this is too much for the beginning you can start with little excersises like asking for the right directions to the next train station or a good restaurant. And slowly expand your comfort zone until you're able to approach women directly. It will take some time, but in my opinion it's a skill that is so necessarily if you want to be really free with women.

... And the good thing is, this training will make it a lot more easier for you to speak to women at the gym or your yoga class.

One thing I want to add there: I wouldn't go to any yoga class or cooking course on meetup whatever, if you're just there to meet women. First thing is, if you go there and don't get the expected results, you'll go home very devastated. And second thing is, women notice, if you just do anything you're not into, to meet women there. And that's not attracitve at all. (Especially in a yoga class, where women are usually very conscious, they'll notice that quick.) Do something that you're really into for the fun at first. And then take care of the women.

Rejection is something you need to get used to. It's the price you have to pay, if you want to be free from other peoples opinion. Especially in the beginning it will hurt a lot, I know that from experience. But it will shackle you less, the more rejections you collect. And the positive effect of getting rejected is, that you will be able to say 'No!' to other people more easily and set your boundaries.

I don't know how far you are on your NoPMO journey and I read you also have some trouble with alcohol... Maybe it is also good for you to take some time off women and take good care of yourself first.
Getting rid of an addiction is a hard process and you're very vulnerable in this state... and rejection will even hurt more and maybe drive you towards your old bad habits.

It's always good to 1. take good care of yourself first 2. bring yourself in a state where you're on a good level of happiness without anybody else 3. invite women into your life.

Just a few thoughts on this. Maybe it helps.

 

ive always thought you meet the girls you want at the places most likely to have that type of woman you desire. so for instance if you're looking for a smart girl, you would go to a library. if you're looking for an athletic girl, go to the gym. if you're looking for a social girl go to the bar/club.
i always wanted a smart girl, but i haven't found a girl to approach yet; most in the libraries i go to are either really young or look super focused and would yell at me if i bothered them.

 

Hey @magic05 , as far as I know meetup is the site for such random social events.

It does obviously depend on where you live. I used to live in a city with over a million people and there were interesting events happening literally ever day. Now that I'm in a slightly smaller town, with about 250.000 people, it's slightly less busy on meetup, but nevertheless there is always at least one (for me) interesting event per week.

Well, usually such groups and classes should be also offered for adults by your local community, not just the universities. Have you tried checking whether you local city council holds a list of such organisations? Or just googling the sport you like with the name of your town added to it? Or even browsing through facebook groups? Maybe find a social group based in your town and post a question there?

Hope this helps ^^

 

Great advice. It's always best to work out exactly what you want before you try and get it. Nothing less attractive for a woman than a guy who would settle for anyone, and she just happened to be the one that said yes so be choosy - apart from anything else, it's more attractive!

Libraries can be a bit difficult, especially if you have a strict silence rule as mine does. If your library has a café, you can try chatting to people there, or at the automatic book loan machine if you have one. Or a book shop even - find a smart looking girl and ask her advice on what book to buy. Be curious and interested in what she has to say, it's not a 'line', and if all you come away with is a great book suggestion - that's great.

 

It is NEVER personal. They don't even know you, how can it be personal? 99% of the time a woman rejects you it is NOTHING to do with you:
She might have had a bad day and doesn't feel like talking to anyone right now
She might have been approached by several guys already today and she is fed up with it
She might be in a relationship, or still healing from a failed former relationship
She might just feel awkward/frightened about the whole thing and prefer to stick to dating sites etc.

Or maybe you aren't her type, and that is ok too. Most women aren't going to be attracted to you - but someone is, and you can find that person with a bit of effort and a lot of courage.
Don't make the mistake of thinking you have to be perfect to attract a woman.

 

There are so many sites, besides dating, where you can meet women to any taste! I can`t advise anything for serious relationships, but is you want some flirt, you can read the reviews on this site https://hookupmasters.com/adult-dating-sites/xmilfs-review/, and find some which will best meet your needs. There are descriptions of all the features of the sites, the audience etc.

 

I would say try going to parks on walks and say hi to people on the way. I see allot of young attractive woman on my parkway but noticing how they act I always assume they're taken or married even so I don't bother. I would say go to a local coffee shop and just keep going daily and just do your own thing. Some days will be boring but you might head into a conversation with someone someday. It doesn't matter on looks! Its about the confidence you feel inside that they sense.
You never really know? It takes steps right? It all doesn't happen on the first day.

Example: My co worker went to a local hair salon and he kept on going and eventually he saw the same hairstylist. He built a relationship with her with consistency going. If they say they are taken or have a boyfriend maybe try another hairstylist and see what happens.