How to Not Get Bored then Fantasize?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by shodaivienni, Jan 14, 2018.

  1. shodaivienni

    shodaivienni Fapstronaut

    This has constituted my NoFap journey. Most of my relapses began with me feeling bored at home, usually in the afternoon on weekends when I actually got a bunch of work to do, but were not having enough spirits to complete them. At that moment, something will happen inside my body that causes me to become horny, with absolutely no trigger at all. Due to my body felt so tired (bored induces the sense of weak/exhausted altho I did nothing), I would usually take a short nap. And that is, when the urges hit me so fucking hard. I start to fantasize using my own views about girls I meet everyday, and when I tried to get rid of this horniness by sleeping, by the time I woke up it's still there! Most of the times the urges got even more difficult to resist. My hands began to grope my genital, and 5 minutes later I would look at myself feeling disgusted. I tried to pee before the nap but it doesn't seem to help me that much either. During those days when I'm out for the whole day however, the urges were little to 0.

    It happened once again just today. And since I also have a tendency to have another relapse following the first one, I ended up relapsed twice. So 2 questions, should I stop taking a nap? How to not fall into the same pit twice by having a second relapse following the first one?
     
  2. GG2002

    GG2002 Fapstronaut

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    If that happens get out of the house. Go for a walk outside. Drive to the store, go to the gyms. Most urges will pass in a few minutes if you distract your mind to something else.
     
    thorswrath32 likes this.
  3. r8js

    r8js Fapstronaut

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    @shodaivienni
    ur 15yr. ur being very courageous, strong and intelligent .
    i will suggest , eat healthy morning and afternoon. do not eat spicey or junk fast food, carbonated drink in middle of the day afternoon.
    donot use tv or mobile more than one hour daily . learn some uppa body excersize. learn some yoga. donot play loud music at all.

    this are some simple small doable things. start it. u will definitely enjoy it.
     
  4. shodaivienni

    shodaivienni Fapstronaut

    It is annoying tho since I live with my parents and as a 15 yr old guy I couldn't just go out anytime with above reasons. The most logical thing to try is to seek a friend's house but that too sometimes aint allowed by my parents. Any ideas to do something at home?
     
  5. shodaivienni

    shodaivienni Fapstronaut

    D
    Do not play loud musics? Wow does it contribute to these urges?
     
  6. GG2002

    GG2002 Fapstronaut

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    You can’t walk in your back yard, or neighborhood? Why don’t you go start a conversation with one of your parents? That should kill the urge.
     
  7. shodaivienni

    shodaivienni Fapstronaut

    Unfortunately I do not have a backyard & yes I am not allowed to go around my neighborhood for walking purposes only. I'm planning to talk regarding PMO issues to my parents but currently our family is having a bit of financial crisis, and I just dont want to bother them with any other burdens. Duh why everything seem out of solution?
     
  8. r8js

    r8js Fapstronaut

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    ur being very courageous, strong and intelligent. i m glad, ur explaining ur thoughts very well manner. even u have any thoughts, share it with nofap members.
    ur primary information source should be newspapers, books, magzine, articles etc. follow it, read it. minimize use of internet.

    i m glad , u r already started considering small steps . this r small steps.
    ignoring it - accepting it , this r part of steps.
    if it suits u, follow it . or if it doesnot suit u, follow things.

    spend atleast one hour in sunlight, do some uppar body excerisize . do some pull ups.
     
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2018
    shodaivienni likes this.
  9. MatthewGrün

    MatthewGrün Fapstronaut

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    If I may make a suggestion too; give writing a shot. I’ve begun writing in my journal again and not only that, but I have also started writing a daily activities journal to record everything I do that day in detail. One last th8ng that journaling has got in me in the spirit of doing, continue writing my novel. Writing engages your brain, handwriting that is. If your school hasn’t taught to write cursive writing(script) then I would learn to that. When you write in cursive it engages both hemispheres of your brain with more connections between them. You have to experience yourself.
     
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  10. shodaivienni

    shodaivienni Fapstronaut

    I tried to write, really. But I'm just terrible in languages. Me getting anxious has put myself in between a boundary where I couldn't be creative enough to write as good as I'm willing to, in which I'm being overly perfectionist. But that doesn't help in anything. By trying to make my writings look good and neat its taking me super long time just to add a couple hundred words, and honestly after those hardworks the end result is not even that 'good-looking' to my eyes. Doing the opposite thing by letting loose all my brain and write all I want creates an even worse results. Afterwards when I look at my writings I feel bad cause it's so poorly written (because I suffer an anxiety disorder here so basically I fear anything). Despite all of this, I do still update my diary separated from NoFap. So instead of finding it as a way to overcome boredom, I put it as a mandatory to add new contents of it every other days or so. How do I practice my writing skills? Blogging?
     
  11. shodaivienni

    shodaivienni Fapstronaut

    Thanks for the ideas man. I'm gonna read more books start from now on.
     
  12. MatthewGrün

    MatthewGrün Fapstronaut

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    Your diary is exactly was I actually meant, I’m sorry if I wasn’t specific about journaling. I know that diary and journal can be used interchangeably, to me a journey is a diary for guys -or at least that’s how it was when I was a child. Anyways, sloppy is the way to go. I was a perfectionist with my journals and my novel before nofap, but I learned that messy is good; for example, I’m writing out a rough draft of the first chapter, I’m not worried too much about grammar and consistency. I’m going to go back and fix it, and, voilá, I’ll have my first complete draft. Everything can be be planned in writing amd worked out in practice. Hope this helps.
     
  13. gsherman100

    gsherman100 Fapstronaut

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    Omg I was looking for a thread like this. I’m not lying when I say I have a very good imagination and there were many times I preferred it over porn. I’ve made up scenarios, I’ve made up people, I’ve made up the setting, and then I’d conjure up some spicy sex.

    But right now it is my worst enemy. Nearly relapsed last night because of it. I’ve seen people recommend meditation but being alone with my mind is a relapse recipe.
     
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  14. MatthewGrün

    MatthewGrün Fapstronaut

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    Does anybody else’s mid/brain play tricks on them? Mine does during the night. When I wake to use the restroom old thoughts of giving up creep back, but I realized that it was my brain or mind try to deceive me. At least that’s what I believe. Any thoughts? I am not forcing any daydreams during the day either or scenarios.
     
  15. shodaivienni

    shodaivienni Fapstronaut

    IKR, I've never counted fantasizing as a relapse, but I'm considering to do so because it has proven to be very effective to trigger a relapse. I'm now trying my best to stay out of the house & spend a lot more time w/ my friends. It seems to be the most suitable option with my conditions.
     
  16. shodaivienni

    shodaivienni Fapstronaut

    Really, my mind deceiving me HAPPENS A LOT OF TIMES EACH DAY. My mind always playing tricks on myself is the reason why I got anxious and lack in confidence. It is often damn difficult to resist & fight against our own thoughts.
     
    MatthewGrün likes this.
  17. gsherman100

    gsherman100 Fapstronaut

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    I take short walk every time I fantasizing
    For real. I’m only 2 1/2 weeks in with no PMO. Honestly I’m more terrified of my own imagination than actual porn at this point. Controlling sexual urges is one thing, but your thoughts... I think it was mostly because it was my day off work yesterday and I didn’t do a whole lot. But the urge didn’t hit me hard until I crawled into bed.
     
    MatthewGrün likes this.
  18. shodaivienni

    shodaivienni Fapstronaut

    I wish I could just tell my parents or literally anyone close to me at the moment abt this porn addiction I suffer. While other people can just go out for a short walk, I can't, at least not without a reason. I want to be open but other things haven't settled yet over here so telling my family probably won't be a good idea. If I just could do so, I'm gonna just tell my parents that everytime I get horny I have to go out somewhere to mute the desires. I used to have a crush to chat regularly with & completely forget PMO, but now that she's gone away I have noone to chat with.
     
  19. MatthewGrün

    MatthewGrün Fapstronaut

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    That is very brave thing to tell your parents. You have to be ready for ignorance. I told my Mom, who is widowed, and she said, “So? Since your dad passed, I haven’t done anything either.” You see, some people(even family) do not know what this is like. The ones that do know and revert back say it’s not worth it - then go make excuses so they won’t have to change. My grandma on the other hand is supportive. My brother, however, wouldn’t understand(supportive, but lacking knowledge/wisdom).
     
  20. shodaivienni

    shodaivienni Fapstronaut

    My brother is also a supportive-type. But yeah, he wouldn't understand either since he's a good-boy-kind of guy and does not really get into these things (he even knew sex at 14/15 which is insane considering 5 year old kids nowadays are exposed to P ald), so I don't think sharing this to him will be a great idea, instead I'm just gonna make him feel bad cause he knows he can't help. After our fam has settle up our financial problems however, I think it's the right time for me to tell them (I hope I can do a full reboot before the crisis ended though).
     

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