How to open myself up emotionally? How to allow emotions to happen?

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Pluto, Feb 19, 2018.

  1. Pluto

    Pluto Fapstronaut

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    I simply feel nothing, neither joy or bad emotions. But if I come to feel emotions, it's mainly only about bad emotions, like anger or sadness. I very rarely feel joy or other emotions.

    Bad life experiences caused it, oneitis and crushes can cause depression and OCD, these events and my mental issues caused me to have an inability of feeling joy and passion, simply because my inner balance was destroyed and I was simply bothered by a large amount of negative emotions.

    Now, I don't care about my oneitis and crushes, it was 4 years ago, I have some sort of inner balance again (it's crazy to imagine that I needed four years to regain it) but nevertheless my joy and passion is still gone. I mostly feel "xanaxy", neither joyful nor bad, just like there would be no emotion. And if I come to feel an emotion, then it's mostly only a bad one. I very rarely feel a good emotion.

    And this is what I don't want to have anymore in the first place. My life seems kind of grey to me, with some small dark clouds now and then. Someone would say that it's depression, but I do not feel sad or suicidal, I just feel "nothing" and if I come to feel something it's mostly something negative. This is why I describe that as "anhedonia", and not depression.

    I don't understand the deep psychological issues of that, but I guess that maybe my past events simply made me a very "emotionally closing" person. I won't allow "strong" emotions anymore because they can be dangerous. The emotion of having a crush is probably one of the best feelings in the world, and because it can - if I get rejected - lead to deep sadness, I am closing myself internally from all potential "strong" emotions. And because my subconscious don't differ from different forms of "strong" emotions (crush - passion - humor - etc.), it automatically closes up myself from all "strong" emotions.

    That's my theory why I am experiencing anhedonia/no emotions and if then mostly negative emotions. I would need some exercises to open up myself for emotions. But how can I do that?

    Are there any exercises to open myself up for emotions, for feeling them?
     
  2. Here are some random ass videos that have really helped me when I felt empty/nothingness in the past:



    Otherwise I would definitely recommend meditation. It helps a lot!
    Especially meditation where you just screen your body/thoughts/feelings/emotions in your case.
     
    MrMurk likes this.
  3. Pluto

    Pluto Fapstronaut

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    I tried some sort of "meditation" in the last time, meaning trying to feel as best as I can and to allow myself some emotions.

    What I've discovered was deep sadness and dissatisfaction. I know what my passions are but I still don't know how to make a living out of it. The worst part is that I am attending now university, and the subject is in complete opposite of what I've used to love and still actually love.

    I really feel depressed because of that
     
  4. Hitto

    Hitto Fapstronaut

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    For me my faith has helped me but if that doesn't work for you here something I've learned.Most of my emotions that arise unconscious or consciously are a reflection of how my body feels. For example when I'm nervous or anxious I show it through my body language everyone does.Most of are thoughts and feelings emanate from the past or future, however this deep rooted identification with the past and future is the "ego" our false selves.Whenever we have those guys about the present we feel anxious whenever we have thoughts of the past we feel guilty, but there is only now.What you thought was the past at the time was never the past it is the now and always will be because you haven't died. As for the future it will never play out at as we think and we often get attached to outcomeof the future for some sort of salvation.When our "thoughts" about the future don't come as we planned we are crushed.My advice is to keep a journal of your thoughts daily and see the patterns of negative thinking.Most of negativity ve thoughts are things that happened or that havent happened. There is always peace living in the present moment because that's all we have.Also all the feelings we have are label good or bad but they are not they are just feeling and never last. You should find ways to your feelings fully constructively and live in the now. I suggest you read Eckhart Tolle the power of now awareness is the key to everything.NoFap has helped me tremendously however I still have negative thoughts and feelings putting myself out there to women, which I know is ridiculous however unconsciously that fear still arises but I'm becoming more aware and finding ways to overcome it.Good luck
     

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