How to prevent inappropriate obsession. Advice requested.

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by TMustStopPornConsumption, Oct 13, 2021.

  1. Fellow NoFap'ers. I am a 59yo male never been in a long term relationship. No children. I started taking swing dance lessons about six weeks ago. Lessons are by group. I chose to learn the "follow" role rather than "lead" role. Considering I'm attracted to WOMEN, this has limited my dance partners. One lady chose to learn the lead role during my first lesson. We have danced several times since then and I always enjoy it. She is maybe about 25yo. There are only 2 other lady's in the entire club that I know can lead. This excludes instructors.
    I have already made one attempt at conversation just with the young lady, D-, and it was okay. The environment is noisy which causes me some focus issues. Talking with D- will tamp down my obsession. I already know this. What more do I need to know and find out ?
  2. Answering myself... I met a new lady tonight who is not an instructor but able to lead. This is very good. I had brief conversations with a couple of the other students in my class. (NAMES ?! Brain fail.) Okay there's An---. I DID get to dance with Do--- twice. Both times wonderful and I no longer feel obsessed, just interested in her. We had little to no time to converse. She wore a nice dress I had not seen her in before and complimented her.
  3. Update and continuing to answer myself. The young lady Do--- was at the dance again last night. We sit at different tables since we are in different classes. Kept watching her for a chance to dance and she came to me and asked. On impulse I said "YES, but can we talk a minute first ?" She said sure. I asked her how her week was. Got to know her a BIT better. Turns out she IS an Aerospace Engineer ! (Fuck me!). She's from St.Louis and has been working at - for about 5 months I think. She danced in college ?, I think. We had 2 or 3 dances. Would have been nice to talk with her more but I'm satisfied it did not get weird. We will talk again and that will keep it real.
    DeeJ4y likes this.

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