How to prevent my kids from going through this too

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Tannhauser, Mar 27, 2018.

  1. Tannhauser

    Tannhauser Fapstronaut

    I have two really young kids (under 3), so I don't need to worry about it just yet, however I'm starting to want to be prepared to help them so they don't have to go through the same issues with PMO that I have. Any thoughts on what/how/when to teach them about these issues in such a way that doesn't backlash?
    Vulkan, u376 and Deleted Account like this.
  2. kevinfine

    kevinfine Fapstronaut

    The best way is to control their access to the internet from a young age. Find a internet router with advanced parental controls that blocks by category. High speed internet and click bait advertising from Gaming sites are usually the path into this world, once you're it's hard to get out.
    Hitto, thorswrath32, u376 and 4 others like this.
  3. Blade-rnr

    Blade-rnr Fapstronaut

    I have a Norton Core, which is a new product that has parental controls built in. Will filter every device on your home network. It won't, however, protect your mobile devices when they leave your home... but protecting your children while at home is a huge part of the battle.
    kevinfine likes this.
  4. Ridley

    Ridley Fapstronaut

    I'm not a parent, so take my opinion with a grain of salt. I think talking to your kids about porn when they come of age is a good way to approach the subject, and it was certainly something that my parents didn't do. I only suggest this because there were other 'adult' matters that my parents talked to me about when I was a kid, and I think it was really effective. Some examples:
    • My parents didn't want me to have an unplanned pregnancy or get any STD's, so they talked to me about how pregnancy happens and how STD's are transmitted and about the different methods people use to prevent such outcomes.
    • My parents didn't want me to ruin my life with drugs, so they talked to me about some of the experiences they had with drugs and about some of the things they had seen their friends and family go through with drugs.
    In both cases, they answered any follow up questions. Also, I should mention that it was never really a situation where we sat down and had "the talk". It felt more like an ongoing conversation that developed and evolved over the course of my youth, and there was always a mutual understanding between me and my parents that we could talk about that stuff. As I gained more experiences, I would talk to them about those, and we would learn from one another.

    Unfortunately, my parents didn't really go the same route with porn. They told me that I was forbidden from watching porn, and that it was a very bad thing to get into, but they never really explained why, and it never felt like something I could talk to them about compared to the other stuff. For me, porn felt like a forbidden fruit with no consequences other than potentially getting grounded by my parents. I don't blame them for this, of course. I think the reason they approached it this way was because they didn't have much experience with porn themselves, or because it was an embarrassing subject for them to talk about with their kids.

    My point is that I don't think any harm will come from explaining porn addiction to your children (when they reach an appropriate age to talk about it), and answering questions they might have about it. I think blocking porn sites using technology in your home is a good start, but I don't think it will be effective unless they understand why the porn is blocked in the first place. If they understand that you're blocking it because you love them, and because you want to protect them, and because you don't want them to suffer the pains of porn addiction (which requires them to know what the potential consequences of porn addiction are in the first place...), then that might get through to them.

    Anyway, that's my two cents on the matter. Hope that helps :)
  5. Celibacyoneer

    Celibacyoneer Fapstronaut

    talk to them about this subject, explain them the harm that can be caused and they will automatically reject the opportunity when presented.

    The problem for lots of kids is parents don't educate them on this subject cus they're occupied with other stuff, so the kid stumbles upon porn & learns to masturbate in school from colleagues.

    You must propagate to him all the negative consequences about PMO all the time and the kid won't do it.
    Ridley likes this.
  6. Blade-rnr

    Blade-rnr Fapstronaut

    Expect that your kids will struggle with this at some point. But they have an advantage that we didn't have... Parents who understand the addiction. Talk to them about it and let them know they can talk to you about it. Set up filters in your home, and prepare them spiritually as well.
  7. Gooding

    Gooding Fapstronaut

    Hmmm to me that sounds like million dollars.
    Great parents.

    The key is explaining why. Just blocking is a challenge that is going to only motivate them.
  8. Gooding

    Gooding Fapstronaut

    But they will get exposed to it through friends.....
  9. Gooding

    Gooding Fapstronaut

    I was 13 the first time I was exposed to porn. A classmate at school. A color picture very graphic turn from a book. I found it disgusting. Instinctively I avoided it. Call me naive and prude. But I had infatuations by then which I had even expressed, and one even accepted me.

    Few years later I wanted to know about sex, I bought an educational book, with text and without graphic. I avoided graphic add it disturbed me.

    Years later in university hostel, I was exposed again, but I wasn't considerable to see it with others presence.

    It at 35+ I got into PMO addiction. But I never knew the addictive science of porn. Would have made all the difference to me.
  10. Not a parent myself but i think the fact you are thinking about this now is important. The world today is a different place in terms of access to information/ideas/opinions etc than it was when most of us who were born pre 1990. The thing is 'Our' parents had no idea about the impact of the internet and what influence it would have on peoples lives. The advantage you have is practical knowledge, you can speak from experience and you will most likely be able to pick up on things like behaviours that our parents would have completely missed. This is just my opinion but i think about age 12 is appropriate to start having some level of discussion about not just porn but media literacy in general and consent and consequences, that's the age most boys and girls go through puberty and start to transition from complete dependency on mum and dad to expressing their own view on the world and wanting certain freedoms and independence. How you go about talking about it and at what level you feel is appropriate is i think a very personal decision for every parent, the trick would be to educate and discourage but without coming accross as the 'if you do this you'll go to hell' kind of parent.
    ChrisRedfield123 likes this.

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