How to start viewing girls romantically

[sfyer123]

Rebooting once again after relapsing about a year ago, but I've been thinking lately about how I view women.

Now I'm by no means gay and am definitely attracted to woman sexually but I have trouble thinking about dating and marrying someone; I just can never imagine myself being in a real relationship like that.

Now this has always really bothered me and I still haven't found a good way of going about the problem. I've had someone last year who really wanted to pursue a relationship with me but I always felt very disassociated with it all and apathetic towards her on any emotional level, though I still desired her sexually. I think a part of it could be my upbringing being in an islamic where marriages are typically arranged and dating is frowned upon so maybe that gave me a negative disposition towards typical romance but I still desire it and honestly know it's possible.

There are a couple of girls I'm interested in but it doesn't feel like I actually like them or anything, just that I find them attractive and respect them. I just can't seem to get over the hurdle of indifference towards potentially starting a relationship so find I don't even try.

Hope I'm making sense here, it's always hard to put my feelings into words. Has anyone been in a similar situation?

 

[SirQwerty]

I can understand how you feel. I've had to grow into my understanding of this also. What helped me see things more clearly is understanding the purpose of such relationships, where we build our life together with a shared vision. Relationships are less "you" and more "her" in the sense of thinking about the other person. Most people are unhappy in relationships today because they're selfish, quite frankly. Not to say you still must take care of yourelf and that your needs are to be invalidated, but there's just more thought and consideration for that other person.

I always think long-term, does this person share the same values, same vision? Could this be someone I can spend the rest of my life with and grow with? Sure they're attractive, and I can respect them from a distance, but is this person I'm willing to share myself with?

"Romance" is sort of fleeting, in the sense that one day you may be "in love" and the next you can't stand them. Real love is agreeing you'll stand with that person even when it gets hard. It's like the saying, "Hard times will always reveal true friends, or the lack thereof."

Hope this helps

 

[Jerry2Rick]

Rebooting once again after relapsing about a year ago, but I've been thinking lately about how I view women.

Now I'm by no means gay and am definitely attracted to woman sexually but I have trouble thinking about dating and marrying someone; I just can never imagine myself being in a real relationship like that.

Now this has always really bothered me and I still haven't found a good way of going about the problem. I've had someone last year who really wanted to pursue a relationship with me but I always felt very disassociated with it all and apathetic towards her on any emotional level, though I still desired her sexually. I think a part of it could be my upbringing being in an islamic where marriages are typically arranged and dating is frowned upon so maybe that gave me a negative disposition towards typical romance but I still desire it and honestly know it's possible.

There are a couple of girls I'm interested in but it doesn't feel like I actually like them or anything, just that I find them attractive and respect them. I just can't seem to get over the hurdle of indifference towards potentially starting a relationship so find I don't even try.

Hope I'm making sense here, it's always hard to put my feelings into words. Has anyone been in a similar situation?

Did you try sleeping with her? I always like a girl more after I sleep with her. I have commitment issues though. Don't feel like the girls are wife material.