How to stop being a jerk?

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Arez01, Apr 24, 2020.

  1. Arez01

    Arez01 Fapstronaut

    Hello, I think I just hit the reality.
    I'm neither a chad or a cute dude, I'm not cute when I'm mean and I'm funny mainly to myself when others are either embarrassed or surprised that such a moron as me actually can come out with smart insults or is confident. I'm only confident when I'm mean honestly.
    If I want to be pious I need to be nice to people no matter what, but it's hard - nobody ever gets angry at me, nobody ever does anything about me being mean to them, when there are no consquences it's hard to be humble.
    When I think about it, I can go full-retard, there are moments in which I can't stop making offensive jokes and being a total prick.
    I know it's a weird question but does anybody know what I can do about it?

    Thanks for any reply
  2. I think it’s all about catching yourself in the moment and making sure you don’t say anything mean. If you do say anything mean apologize and laugh it off. Sorry if this isn’t much help but hey sir got you!
    ......., Arez01 and Gmork like this.
  3. Senpaij

    Senpaij Fapstronaut

    As a fellow jerk, all i can say is: look kindly.
    Look kindly upon others. When you feel yourself thinking of others in a negative way or a way that makes you feel uncomfortable, step away from that thought and attempt to turn it and look at from an angle that you can feel kind and comfortable about.
    More importantly, look kindly on yourself. The flaws we find in others and the imperfections we frequently point out are, more often than not, some form of reflections upon ourselves.
    I am crass with people who i perceive as lazy because I feel like I have not accomplished enough with my life. I am easily offended when I feel like someone doesn't listen to me because I so often am bull-headed and belligerent.
    So, practice looking kindly. Look at yourself with kindness and it becomes easier to see that same kindness extending towards others.
  4. fredisthebes

    fredisthebes Fapstronaut

    A very familiar post, especially when I was younger.

    You don't need to be funny all the time. It's needy and attention-seeking, you are craving the reaction you get either from being offensive or from making people laugh. No one else is going to call you out on this stuff, at least, not before you go way too far. So you need to call yourself out. Use your wit sparingly and thoughtfully, and start paying people compliments. Set yourself a challenge to compliment someone every day, and let it be something you genuinely think as well. Before you know it, it will come naturally to you and you will be the nice guy not the offensive prick :)
    vickyksr, ....... and Arez01 like this.
  5. eevahnits

    eevahnits Fapstronaut
    NoFap Defender

    You're a Scorpio. There's no help :p
    ....... and Arez01 like this.
  6. palindromo

    palindromo Fapstronaut

    Read this , and repeat every month .

    The spaced review is fundamental
    fredisthebes, ....... and Arez01 like this.
  7. chuMin

    chuMin Fapstronaut


    personally, I think you have the wrong idea and approach. What stops people from being mean is not consequences or fear, it is gratitude. Consequences may make you second guess your actions, but I think what you're really trying to ask is how to stop constantly thinking of mean things in the first place. Believe it or not, you can practice gratitude too. You can try to point out at least one good thing that you are thankful for each day and see if that helps.
  8. Max666

    Max666 Fapstronaut

    My advice: stop worrying about how other people see you and just be yourself. If people dont like it it doesn't matter. So long as you have integrity and principals. You're morality should define you, the execution is irrelevant. If you're a moral man and lives by a code, has principals, then the only people who aren't gonna accept you are those who dont have principals and those people's opinions have little value in the real world.
    eevahnits likes this.
  9. vickyksr

    vickyksr Fapstronaut

    Very insightful discussion, quite relatable
  10. you "have" to change otherwise everybody around you leave you alone and call you a frustrated prick. social compulsion and its reward and punishment teach you how to behave. it depends on upbringing too.
    vickyksr likes this.
  11. lolos

    lolos Fapstronaut

    Sounds like you feel bad for bantering.
    vickyksr likes this.

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