How to stop fantasizing about a girl / man / crush?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by diogo431509, Mar 15, 2018.

  1. diogo431509

    diogo431509 Fapstronaut

    Nobody discussed this. This question was asked by Pillan24 but no real answers. Please take some time to answer this thoroughly to help me and others facing this situation.

    https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/how-to-control-my-fantasies.161219/

    In my specific case, I spend a lot of time with my crush for work reasons. I can't avoid but get glimpses of her. Going after her is not an option. She's married and have kids. Having an affair is against my principles and any understandable reasoning. We both might lose our jobs, her husband might kill me etc.

    I ruined my last streaks because of fantasies. Anyone have a good technique or some sort of trick to get over it?

    Many thanks please answer. Any idea is welcome.
     
    j_pwc_bat likes this.
  2. j_pwc_bat

    j_pwc_bat Fapstronaut

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    You are human and fantasizing is common among men and women.

    I think it was in "EveryMan's Battle" book that had an answer. The answer was "information."
    As you get more information on the married woman, her children, husband, their names, [ask to see photos & give short-sincere compliments], church orsynagogue or mass they attend, etc. all that information will help 'kill' the fantasies.

    You say you are having fantasies [normal] about her........
    but they are probably lust based -- so any relationship is doomed from the beginning.
    (Lust is always short-term; break-up; hurt feelings, etc.)

    Also...... you can try the "bounce and starve" your eyes technique.

    As you work on getting girlfriends, women, dates etc.. who are available -- this will give you diversion,
    distraction....... love....... --------- And Peace ---------- which is what everyone is looking for.

    Focus on getting your day counter numbers up ....... No PMO will make you Stronger in Many Ways.
    No PMO = ALL BENEFITS !

    =========================================

    TIPS submitted 10 months ago * by nomoremrfapguy1

    "Nofap will bring out all the natural feelings that you used to suppress or numb with PMO/Fapping. It will make you feel lonely as a signal from your psyche to go out and meet people. It will make you crave intimacy so that you go out there and get into an intimate relationship with a girl you like.


    Nofap will make you motivated (some struggle with this because of a prolonged flatline) so that you can get shit done. It will make you more aggressive (the way it supposed to be for a man) to go for the things you want in life (without being a dick).


    It will make you want to socialise so that you become part of an active participant in life instead of sitting on the sidelines of life.

    It will make you confident so that you can go for what you want with boldness.

    It will bring back the feelings of enjoying the "little things" to enjoy life.

    What i said is not exaggerated as i have experienced them all while on Nofap and many others have reported this too.

    So embrace these new emotions which are simply your natural feelings coming out and stick to Nofap because it works."
     
    Last edited: Mar 15, 2018
    VeganRights likes this.
  3. Single Palm Change

    Single Palm Change Fapstronaut

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    OK, Diogo, this is a tough one.

    You obviously have feeling you can't deny. So give them the acknowledgement they deserve. You are interested, yes. You are maybe in love? Ok. You are having lust and the fantasies - not cool! These are coming from the porn addiction mindset.
    Once you can split things up into where they are coming from, you know what to acknowledge, what is o.k., and what you don't want to keep.

    Once you are there, you can use the name 3 things technique to get away from the fantasies. Here's the trick: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/fight-urges-with-the-name-3-things-technique.160346/

    After that, you must develop a trust that you know what to do, and that you can trust yourself doing the right thing. So say to yourself: " I trust in myself, I am having problems with this girl, but I know I will do the right thing. "
     
    VeganRights likes this.

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