how to stop Foot Fetish Desire

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by nyxDrive, Apr 30, 2019.

  1. nyxDrive

    nyxDrive Fapstronaut

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    Hi there,

    I'm trying to stop my ejaculate addiction but i have a big problem. I have Foot Fetish. Before noFap i watched 99% footjobs and every porn video was feet involved. I'm only into gorgeous one, and it's very complicated. I tried noFap, and works great! I'm not watching porn any more! My sexual life with my wife started to be great! I feel very happy bout it, because all these years i had awful sex with here ( blame 100% on me) and this time im changing it. She didn't know about my 'thing' (i had footjobs all the time from her) but after noFap, this escalated to a whole new level. I want to have sex with her all the time, but not only, all the fantasies about licking,kissing, face sitting, smelling, trampling, i want to try with her. She has perfect toes. I told her i cant hold this secret, and she is okay to pleasure me. I think thats very big Win for me, and im very accomplished, but how to control this? Everytime when she sits to me (to watch TV), she puts her bare feet on me, and you know whats next. I can do that every day, without stopping, but the point is i want to get my energy back, and to be on noFap. Any help?
     
  2. Foot fetish is generally more innate less-so than acquired. Meaning that I think it's very unlikely that you'll be able to "stop" your desire/inclination to be into feet, even through quitting porn entirely, unless if your foot fetish was acquired through pornography. Quitting porn might certainly reduce the compulsivity of it, though, make it less "mandatory" to your sex life and everyday life. Meaning that while you are likely to still be attracted to feet, you won't be obsessing about them all of the time.

    I'd argue that fetishes should be employed to enhance sex in a non-compulsive, non-exploitive, "sex-positive" way. Your goals matter here. I'd suggest de-escalating to make it not dominate and take away from other areas of your life, but still incorporating it into your private sex life with your wife - because why not? It's fun. You said yourself that she has perfect feet and that she's into it too, so I see no problem continuing to employ it after you quit porn? Doesn't seem to be that big of an issue if you aren't creeping on other people's feet all the time in your daily life, having the compulsivity take over other areas of life, etc.

    tl;dr - Quit porn and see if that reduces the compulsivity of it. Then if you can enjoy it with your wife non-compulsively, why not?
     
    nyxDrive likes this.
  3. drbt444

    drbt444 Fapstronaut

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    Hi nyx,

    I wish you all the best with this, but the problem I think, is your wife is a person and not just a means to satisfy your flesh-driven lust (I am a Christian and apologies, appreciate this language may sound a bit extreme).

    I suffer (and mean suffer) from foot fetish too but my life is definitely better without feeding my addictive (and never satisfied) tendencies. The underlying goal for me is love and spiritual connection with another person.

    Let me know if it still works out after a month or too!

    All the best (genuinely),
    drbt444
     
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