How to stop relapsing? Should i go for no porn only?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by MHero, Aug 4, 2021.

  1. MHero

    MHero Fapstronaut

    Hi all,
    I'm stuck in a loop of relapses. Everything goes well, untill i start fantasizing and trying to peek. Usually, I get strong urges after week1. Those urges are irresistible. I know i need more discipline, so i started running, taking cold showers everyday. But that isn't enough, i still can't manage my emotions in an otherway than P.

    I made a lot of plans, and todos when feeling the urge to PMO, like getting out, meditating, playing a game, remembering the pain i'll feel afterward... But nothing seems to work. With will power i can resist one or two times, but the moment i feel anxious or uncomfortable i become weak.

    What should i do? Masturbate when i get an urge? I don't want to, i want to go hard mode!

    And how to deal with urges? How to force myself take cold showers or get out, while feeliy horny and overwhelmed by urges?


    Thanks.
     
  2. like2throw

    like2throw Fapstronaut

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    Never masturbate when you get an urge. It will spiral.

    I think you're doing great at acknowledging your challenges. What sometimes works for me is trying to forget that it's ever an issue, and go about my life. I then realise I completely forgot about it
     
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  3. Spiritual Redemption

    Spiritual Redemption Fapstronaut

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    I'm going to just cut to the chase. If you're tired of relapsing and going in circles, I would recommend giving sex and love addicts anonymous a chance brother. I spent a long time on Nofap, but I realized that I needed more help. No amount of willpower could stop me. No amount of exercise or psychologists, or motivation could stop me watching porn and masturbating.

    It's entirely up to you though, but take this from a guy that does both, the tools of the 12 steps and the support of the fellowship have saved my life. There's nothing to be afraid of. If you've been doing Nofap for a long time, and you still can't control it, I'd suggest just checking it out, and seeing if it's for you. All the best on your journey brother, and if you need any help PM me. Cheers.
     
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  4. Factpet

    Factpet Fapstronaut

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    Have an urge? Get out of your room, go for a walk even in the middle of the night. While walking start to negotiate with yourself. At this point your body has taken over your mind, so your mind needs to be in control again. When you have stronger willpower go meditate, but always do the self talk. Self talk and visualization are the 2 most important tools you have.
     
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  5. Quezatolah

    Quezatolah Fapstronaut

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    I'm on day 5 so I can only help you get to day 5.

    When you get the urge, use what I call the triple happiness technique.

    Think of something in the future you're looking forward to which makes you genuinely happy.

    Then think of something in the past which makes you happy, something you accomplished, odds you've defied that makes you happy or nostalgic times.

    Finally look around you and think of something in the present that makes you happy, keep it simple.

    This shouldn't take you more than 30-60 seconds to complete, if you do it right the urge should be gone.

    It has helped me so far, I hope it helps you.

    PS: Don't overuse the technique or it loses its charm, do it a few times in a day but try to not feel the urge in the first place.
     
    Last edited: Aug 4, 2021
  6. If you are spiritually inclined and your faith is strong, take a vow or unbreakable oath in the presence of what you believe in (God, Krishna, Higher Self, ...) And swear on your own life or someone you love deeply that you will never again do it. You can do it for PMO MO P Edging ... Maybe take babysteps? First P then O then PO.

    Only do this if you believe you can make it. Breaking the oath/ vow will have horrible consequences obviously (look at priests who vow celibacy in front of God becoming child rapist as a result of breaking it).

    Sometimes all it takes is to put yourself with your back against the wall.

    I struggled many years. I finnaly took the oath. Didnt break yet. But its incredibly hard and creates a tremendous amount of anger frustration and restlessness because you know you can never break it. At the same time it is also very freeing. The feelings vary from day to day. Make sure your life is very busy when doing it or you will go insane.
     
  7. MHero

    MHero Fapstronaut

    Yeah! I experienced that before, i relapsed after 4 days when i masturbated last time.

    Sometimes i overcome urges by concentrating on what am i doing. I failed today because i peeked, i wanted to relapse, this is the sad truth :(
     
    like2throw likes this.
  8. MHero

    MHero Fapstronaut

    Thanks my friend for the suggestion. I may try it, maybe in the near future.
     
  9. MHero

    MHero Fapstronaut

    Thanks my friend for the suggestion, seems interesting, i'll try it next time. " Change my position, stand, and talk to myself, tell myself to not relapse"

    I don't meditate, i was meditating before, but i find it ineffective! Besides i loose concentration a lot, so stoped because i'm not meditating correctly!
     
  10. MHero

    MHero Fapstronaut

    Thanks my friend a lot, i think this will help me a lot, " stand up, walk, and talk to myself, while imagining things that make me happy in the future, past and present"

    It's difficult to not get an urge, i get an urge when i fantasize. I fantasize when i see a trigger. Triggers are everywhere unfortunately.
     
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  11. Spiritual Redemption

    Spiritual Redemption Fapstronaut

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    This is very good. I myself have taken a Brahmacharya oath (Swami Sivananda's method). I meet my first accomplished oath tomorrow, and then will extend it. I have broken an oath before, I do not wish to do it again.
     
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  12. MHero

    MHero Fapstronaut

    Thank you for your help. I believe in god, but my faith is a bit low these days, i don't think this method will work, at least in my actual state. But thanks buddy.
     
  13. Furozima10

    Furozima10 Fapstronaut

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    Practice until master
     
    MHero likes this.
  14. Then cultivate it before taking an oath. One of the main things in Faith and Spirituality it to live a life which transcends the lower passions/ emotions (lust, greed, ambition, prise, gluttony, ...). In the true esoteric spiritual path this IS the path.

    Desiring a life without PMO means you will eventually have to give up on sex based on lust (this is what i realized trying to do nofap in a relationship, i was addicted to ORGASM or SEX-CRAVING). Unless you practice karezza, sex without making babies is purely based on lust.

    So do yourself a favor and take the shortcut. Strengthen your faith and all will come in order.
     
    MHero likes this.
  15. randomname3

    randomname3 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah I felt many times when I relapsed like there was no point and I wouldn't get any better. But even when you've failed yourself many times over, you still can continue to make progress.

    My own experience, as an atheist I was able to get to 90 days with the method of
    1. Setting the specific date I had to go until
    2. Making that date my mantra to kick out all triggering thoughts
    3. Discarding and avoiding anything triggering

    Now as a Christian I'm at the point mainly just avoid triggers, stay active, read the Bible and pray for God to give me his strength for the day: I don't run on my own steam any more.
     
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  16. Quezatolah

    Quezatolah Fapstronaut

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    Your mind is the only trigger brother, everyone goes about and experiences roughly the same things in life, it's what information we prioritize that makes a difference.

    Anyway, the triple happiness technique will fill that empty void so you don't reach out to porn or masturbation for a few hours, atleast in my experience.

    Pick out one thing from the future, one thing from the past and one thing from the present that makes you happy, that's it.

    Use a simple adblocker app on your phone and meditate everday for 5-10 minutes, it will keep your mind healthy and stable, good luck.

    PS: Oh yeah, and cut out social media, for me I'm only allowed to use social media on the weekends as per my own rules, with the exception of youtube.
     
    Last edited: Aug 4, 2021
    MHero likes this.
  17. MHero

    MHero Fapstronaut

    My trouble started with a trigger i saw on Facebook, maybe i should do like you. Limiting social media is a crucial step.

    But i'm struggling at blocking porn on my laptop, i use macOs. Any ideas about some ways to block porn on all browsers?

    You are right when you said that my mind is the only trigger. I love drawing, next i get an urge i'll use the tree happiness technique and drawing. Thanks :)
     
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  19. Quezatolah

    Quezatolah Fapstronaut

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    I use an adblocker, not pornblocker, I believe you should be able to browse the internet without looking for porn.

    Someone who doesn't have an addiction doesn't need any porn blockers, that's where I want to get to personally.
     
    MHero likes this.
  20. josedelamuerte

    josedelamuerte Fapstronaut

    Then go for three times next streak. Then four.

    I wish there was some other way, but this is really all that's worked for me.
     
    MHero likes this.

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