How to surround myself with smarter and more successful people?

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by cresyhorse, Jun 15, 2021.

  1. cresyhorse

    cresyhorse Fapstronaut

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    They say you are the average of the 5 people you spend most time with.

    How do I find a new tribe, tribe of successful people that are smarter and way better than me. I want to be the worst and dumbest person in my friend group in order to grow.

    Anyone has experience with this?
     
    Team rocket 420 likes this.
  2. BigBadWolf_27

    BigBadWolf_27 Fapstronaut

    I would say - stay on the course of self-improvement and you will probably attract similar people. But still, hanging out with people only for your own personal growth is dumb. I like my friends for who they are, not for the values they are bringing to the table.
     
  3. cresyhorse

    cresyhorse Fapstronaut

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    yeah I'm caught in mixed feelings about this. my old friend group are mostly pot smokers since I used to be one. once I stopped smoking I've stopped hanging out with them so I kind don't have a tribe I can call my own.

    most self help books and dudes recommend cutting off unambitious people but it seems to cold to me. on the other hand I don't want to be forced to dumb down my conversations when hanging out with my people.

    have you experienced something similar?
     
    Team rocket 420 likes this.
  4. BigBadWolf_27

    BigBadWolf_27 Fapstronaut

    Having a tribe is not that neccessary I think. I have just one, really close friend I can really rely on. Of course I have a few other "mates" that I really like spending time with, but I don't expect anything from them. They like to drink and attending parties, smoking, doing all kind of sh*t, that I don't care about. If your buddies drag you down just cutting them off from your life is a wise thing to do, but still - do not force yourself to hang out with "better" people only because of your goals. Be yourself.
     
  5. cresyhorse

    cresyhorse Fapstronaut

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    of course bro, I don't intend to fake who I am in order to hang out with someone.

    humans have been living in tribes for thousands and thousands of years. it might be in our genetics to have a tribe we belong to.
     
    BigBadWolf_27 likes this.
  6. forksnknives

    forksnknives Fapstronaut

    This is something I've thought about on and off - how to surround myself with people I want to be like. And I get the argument against it too, perhaps ditching everyone in an effort to better yourself may seem a little harsh. But, you only have one life to live and all that. I heard this once and it's always stuck with me - 'Being selfish isn't doing what you want - it's making other people do what you want.' So, it's not selfish to try and better yourself by reaching higher than you already are. It's only selfish if you drag others along for the ride when they're more than happy doing what they're doing.

    In terms of how you do that...? I guess it's all small steps really. Continue on the self development path as @BigBadWolf_27 mentions. But also maybe hunt out events or talks that are happening in or around your area that interest you and go to them. Meet people there.

    The big questions is: When you say you want to find a group of people that are smarter and more successful than you - what does that wisdom and success look like? We shouldn't become the smartest and most successful businessman or stock trader if we have no interest in stocks and businesses.
     
    cresyhorse and BigBadWolf_27 like this.
  7. Sinbad

    Sinbad Fapstronaut

    Pray for it and you will know
     
    Team rocket 420 and cresyhorse like this.
  8. cresyhorse

    cresyhorse Fapstronaut

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    this is the way
     
  9. cresyhorse

    cresyhorse Fapstronaut

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    that last part struck a cord. i'll have to ponder on that. the first part - we seem to think and be in the same place on this subject.
     
  10. BeastBoyBalling

    BeastBoyBalling Fapstronaut

  11. cresyhorse

    cresyhorse Fapstronaut

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    I hope to get an answer from someone who's been through this process :D
     
  12. redacted

    redacted Fapstronaut

    I just heard someone talking about this in a Tim Ferris podcast. Sorry I forgot which one :) but they said following on twitter can have the same effect. So this would be a case of using social media positively -
    look at your digital comms (texting, email) look at the subject of the emails and texts - are you a negative influence in someone else's life - just sending complaints and disasters? Start being aware of that.

    Go to meetups/groups not so much 'networking' or 'success' type groups but in things you are genuinely interested in and pursuing, you'll find similarly motivated people.

    I realized some friends were dragging me down years ago - and, I was dragging them down, so I just distanced myself.

    One other tip - you don't have to hang around silicon valley millionaires - just find people motivated more than average.
     
    Toni7 and cresyhorse like this.
  13. cresyhorse

    cresyhorse Fapstronaut

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    thanks ivan grozni, i'll try to be a positive influence and seek above average motivation people.
     
    Toni7 likes this.
  14. Team rocket 420

    Team rocket 420 Fapstronaut

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    Ain’t nothing wrong with a little weed dude god made it on this planet for you and me you’ll be successful and still smoke weed don’t let other people’s opinions on here get to you half them don’t even know what they talking about just do you follow your heart bud don’t worry about friends at the end of the day it’s just you and yourself money is my only friend I don’t give a fuck about a pack i’m a lion .
     
  15. cutting people out does not have to be so dramatic( like " burning bridges") it can be as simple as not hanging out with them as often. I used to be in to the whole getting high every day culture. Maybe some people can do that and be successful, i am not one of those people. I try to follow the idea "pursue excellence and excellence will pursue you." I try to distance myself from "perpetual victims" and constant complainers and put myself around people who will call me out when im falling to said mindsets.
     
    cresyhorse likes this.
  16. cresyhorse

    cresyhorse Fapstronaut

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    Did you go through a period of loneliness once you stopped hanging with those people?
     
  17. its hard to tell since i still have periods of loneliness(whether im around people or not)
     
  18. cresyhorse

    cresyhorse Fapstronaut

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    what do you mean?
     
  19. I just dont feel like i belong anywhere or have anything to look around and see as mine
     
  20. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

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    If you work to do something interesting in your life, smart people will come.
     
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