How to trust men again?

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by cvicious, Nov 12, 2017.

  1. cvicious

    cvicious Fapstronaut

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    I honestly think there is something wrong with me, I can't say for sure what it is. I must be doing something wrong..
     
  2. Rodrigov600

    Rodrigov600 Fapstronaut

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    Well from what you've written, You may be looking at something called Co-Dependency... So look into that and if it sounds like you dig more and keep studying yourself.

    At the end of the day you had a bond and you made a decision to improve your quality of life and I admire that very much. It is your right to have the man of your dreams and it is very possible. But to find that man you will need to apply the same level of determination and discipline to stick to your guns and keep going through the "No"s to get to the "Yes!".

    If you still feel a bit down, You should most definitely do whatever necessary to feel the pain without breaking from your goal. If you gotta listen to sad music, yell into a pillow, say out loud "I will never find the right man" Do so. You gotta feel it to heal it. The faster you get through those emotions the faster you'll heal, and the faster you can meet someone who you deserve.

    I suggest this video specifically for you: Corey Wayne-Codependent

    If you would really like to avoid the 97% of men who will cause you a headache and get the 3% who will really make you happy you can read his book:

    Corey Wayne- How to be a 3% man
     
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  3. cvicious

    cvicious Fapstronaut

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    Thank you very much for taking the time to share this information with me, I will definitely watch the video and try to find the book, I'm very interested!
     
  4. Rodrigov600

    Rodrigov600 Fapstronaut

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    Don't try, you'll only commit half the effort.

    Do or do not!
     
  5. Toomuchh

    Toomuchh Fapstronaut

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    Sounds like a bunch of bullshit. How does a person gather the data to make that specific conclusion on a global scale. 97% of all stats on the internet are made up, 98% are lies and 100% are just to try to convince you they are right. Where is this reality that creates a distinction that there are "real" men and women. The truth is people aren't perfect, that's as real as it gets.

    Your advice about writing down what you want from a partner what you can't accept is really good tho.

    To the OP, not all men are the same, the world is a big place you get a lot of different flavors. The best advice I would give you would be to find a man that shares the values you do, you sound like a loyal and faithful person, I'm sure there is lucky guy out there just like that waiting for you.
     
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  6. Rodrigov600

    Rodrigov600 Fapstronaut

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    I invite you to read the book as well, you'll find that a lot of the information makes sense.
     
  7. Plutonium

    Plutonium Fapstronaut

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    Look after yourself - women are nature's treasure - and spoil yourself not just a little bit. Men can wait... :)
     
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  8. Toomuchh

    Toomuchh Fapstronaut

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    I'm sure he says some generic good stuff about being productive and improving your life/self etc.

    But I can't find out if he's married, and I think it's a bit silly to take relationship advice from someone if they can't practice what they preach.

    If he's happily married with kids, sure I'll give it a shot.
     
  9. Rodrigov600

    Rodrigov600 Fapstronaut

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    Not at all, I really invite you to read his book. He has videos on youtube where he reads people's emails and analyzes what they're going through and helps them take a better approach.

    His book outlines specific examples of his life as well. Don't trust my word? Read the book reviews on amazon. Really good stuff in my opinion.
     
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  10. cvicious

    cvicious Fapstronaut

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    I think it honestly does come down to me finding someone with the same values in life. I know it will take a lot of time for me to get over this pain, and to realize that not all men are the same.

    I've been lied to so much in this relationship, it's hard to imagine being able to trust what any one tells me anymore.

    I have always told my partners,I would rather know the truth, even if it will hurt me. At least I'll know you're not a liar!
     
  11. cvicious

    cvicious Fapstronaut

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    I have been trying to be extra nice to myself since the break up. Thanks again for your insight!
     
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  12. I'd recommend Najwa Zebian. I've been listening to her lately and she has some good things to say about pain, healing and ownership. And especially since you're a woman I expect she'll be even more helpful. Unfortunately some people can't see past the fact she's a Muslim, and that's sad because if they did they might find what she has to say would help them.

    She's written two books - Mind Platter and The Nectar of Pain.


    Here's some of her videos:



     
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  13. cvicious

    cvicious Fapstronaut

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    I debated on posting this question in this particular forum. I have been using it since 2015 and have found very good people and advice in this forum, and they have helped me to get through this and see the truth behind what my addicted partner was doing. That might not mean much to you, but it means the world to me.

    This might be TMI, but I am a loner and don't have many people close to me at all. I have one person in real life who I could trust to talk to about this problem, so getting the advice from the people on this forum has helped me tremendously.

    I chose to post this on here because I thought I would get some thoughtful, helpful answers as I have in the past from members of this forum. I haven't had much luck finding forums where people are open and kind, and I found the here.

    I don't know what else to say. If it's inappropriate for me to be on this forum, please tell me and I'll quit posting here .
     
  14. cvicious

    cvicious Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for your thoughtful response, it looks like I have some good videos to watch tonight and a book to check out!
     
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  15. Minsc

    Minsc Fapstronaut

    My answer: Time/life experience.

    Porn aside, most (or all) of us men here are working on building up our own confidence in many aspects of our lives. This takes time, no shortcuts. The same goes for your own confidence. Reflect and learn from the past, live in today and look forward to a brighter future.
     
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  16. Great advice but my question is How many times have you read his book? ;)
     
  17. liuk32

    liuk32 Fapstronaut

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    Nobody is perfect. Perfect man/woman don't exist.

    If you have the need to change the habits of your man means that he isn't the right man.
     
  18. TheBigBadWolf

    TheBigBadWolf Fapstronaut

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    Haha, I am almost done with my 10th read. "You have to read the book 12-15 times or else its not going to stick!" --Corey Wayne.
     
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  19. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    You are right. We are naturally vicious and barbaric. It's only the civilizing and socializing influences that make a man capable of subduing his desire, or rather sublimating it, into something more meaningful.

    You need to look for an educated man with a taste for the finer things in life. But to attract this kind of man, you will have to become a special kind of woman yourself.
     
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  20. TheBigBadWolf

    TheBigBadWolf Fapstronaut

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    The 3% of men being "real" men is obviously a guess based off of Coach Corey's experience. What I mean by a "real" man is that a man is Confident in who he is, what he is, and what he wants to do and sticks to his values and principles despite adversity. Unfortunately the reality is most men don't have their confidence built up to a high enough level to feel good about who they are. Hence based off of life experience I can attest to the whole 3% of men guess as to how many men truly are on this level. Society nowadays is into trashing men left and right in media, movies, etc. So it's much harder for a man to be comfortable in his own skin without feeling like he is doing something wrong that he can't explain.

    -TheBigBadWolf
     

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