Depressed and anxious. Countless times i have tried and failed. I hope this is a new begining and am able to get rid of Porn and Masturbation for good
Am inspired when i read about others experience and that motivates me to stick to my goal....I feel now i have a way to overcome this addiction. I started this habit during as a teenager. Slowly this grew into an obsession and before i realised, this addiction has taken control of my life, feelings and emotions. To begin with i have set up a goal of 30 days abstinence. I want to test myself. Then i would like to go for longer periods of abstinence from porn and masturbation.
Day 1 has passed without any temptation. Although my mind is at it again. Flashing images of the porn movies scenes that i watched earlier. I have managed 5 to 7 to 10 days abstinence with ease in the past. Only after 10 days it becomes really difficult. It would be really great to complete 30 days without porn and masturbation.
I completely got lost. I have this trend now since a few month to loosing it more than before. I could do 60 days without PMO. Now I could not even hold for a few days. I will reset my counter and start with day one. I know I can. I did it and I will get back to how I was.
I am starting really today with my vow. The counter the last day does count. But as of today I am following my ritual of writing here. Confessing and letting out reflecting and learning. I learned that there is a element of learning for me that is part of the process of resolving the issue. It’s not only about getting back control. As with any hindrances or problems in life they are also opportunities and along with them and sincere striving go realizations that are in my mind the keys to the resolve. These keys are different for each depending who someone is. This perspective helps me. There is always a reason for things.
Day 2 passed without much fuss. Am trying to calm down. I feel my anxiety level is coming down. Though i feel angry sometimes. I have started writing a log. Log of all that goes on in my mind and the activities i do on a daily basis. I feel as i continue doing this, somewhere in these pages and lines there will be a clue that will eventually help me quit PM, change my character and become a better person. My mind is occupied when i write the log. Keeps me busy. Helps me ponder over the thoughts that comes up in my mind, the way i act and react. I pray that God gives us the strength and courage in our struggle to become a better person.
I relapsed. Took to P&M yesterday. Reset my counter to zero. No matter how many times i fail, i will try till i succeed. Overwhelming urge is what compels me to take up P&M. I am reading the starter reboot manual. Will try to follow the steps.
Howdy. I’ve noticed the use of acronyms and abbreviations. Where can I find what they all mean? O, and M and such... Thanks. Really hopeful here. I need this! And what an effen supportive group here.
At the very top of the page, click on the third button 'The Glossary' - it should have most of the terms.
