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How well do you have to know a girl before attempting to ask her out for a coffee date?

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by zxcv, Jan 14, 2020.

  1. zxcv

    zxcv Fapstronaut

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    I'm 31 and never had girlfriend or really any luck with girls. Or even been on a date. Apparently doing what I been doing hasn't been working. Maybe I should try something a little more direct.
     
    Action and Espi1971 like this.
  2. ahighertruth

    ahighertruth Fapstronaut

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    hm i think you should know her well enough where you don't seem like a serial killer. some guys can achieve this in like 5 minutes, others it takes days maybe even months.
     
  3. Espi1971

    Espi1971 Fapstronaut

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    @zxcv Congratulations on 101 days no PMO!

    My opinion:

    I like your direct approach.

    You don't have to know them at all. The purpose of meeting them for coffee is to get to know them.
     
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2020
    Action likes this.
  4. Suk

    Suk Fapstronaut

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    Just relax and ask her politely for a coffee, don't use the date word(might creep them out a bit), if she says no it's simple she ain't interested in you, if someone is they would gladly say yes. All the best!
     
  5. red gyarados

    red gyarados Fapstronaut

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    If you’re looking online you can do 3 or 4 lines of text. Offline I have no idea, I was always terrible at cold approach.
     
  6. Fullyawake

    Fullyawake Fapstronaut

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    I was texting a girl before I went on a holiday recently. I was dreaming about coming back and resuming that conversation, but I was also worried it wouldn’t resume. I came back a few days ago, sent a text and I’m now getting ghosted. Fucking annoying, but so predictable.
     
    Last edited: Jan 20, 2020
  7. vibemaker

    vibemaker Fapstronaut

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    ...

    you should let her know that you're asking for a date! if she's creeped out, when you ask her for a date, she's not into you, and the sooner you know that the better it is.


    You don't have to know her at all to ask her for a date. Like someone mentioned above, the reason for a date is to get to know the women.

    It's all a matter of how "open" the women is. For most women a couple of minutes talking is already enough to have earned enough trust to go out with you. Some women don't even need a couple of minutes talking.
     
    red gyarados and Espi1971 like this.
  8. Honestly man at the end of the day it all comes down to experience.And you can start now I know that you are probably scared but everyone is.You just need to learn how to manage it.Nothing in life that has any real value is easy to obtain.It is all about trying over and over until you figure out how to do it.
     
    Espi1971 likes this.
  9. autopsyhater

    autopsyhater Fapstronaut

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    Same age and I agree. Ask them for a coffee. Even there and then, it doesn't have to be a future arrangement. I have been approaching women since I was 28 1/4...before that I'd never even spoken to an attractive girl, the whole time I was young. It was a big regret of mine, I was in a dark place with my autopsy consumption back in the early 2010s. But that regret pushed me to do the most scary thing possible, to approach chicks in real life, with no prior experience. I recorded some of my approaches this year, hit me up if you are interested in seeing the videos.
     
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  10. red gyarados

    red gyarados Fapstronaut

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    Im interested
     
  11. Khufu

    Khufu Fapstronaut

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    ive come up with some personal when to's for myself, if the two of you are always coming up with interesting things to talk about, lots of eye contact, light touching like a touch on the arm or something play ful like that, when have good interactions without the influence of drugs that includes, alcohol, tabacco, marijuana , even coffee, dont be influenced from coffee with interactions, with all those taken place i give the flag to ask her out to do something interesting or exciting to do
     
  12. red gyarados

    red gyarados Fapstronaut

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    Agree with most of it but god I miss making out while high
     
    vibemaker likes this.
  13. Rev2.0

    Rev2.0 Fapstronaut

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    From the research I've done, women typically interpret an invite for a coffee or lunch date as a "just friends" situation. If that's all you're after with this girl then great but if this is someone you don't want sticking you in the friendzone then an evening outing is a better choice. Higher risk (of her saying no) but also much higher potential reward, especially if your escalation game is on point. Good luck either way!
     
  14. What research are you talking about?
     
  15. vibemaker

    vibemaker Fapstronaut

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    I would say this is basically true, but it depends highly on the setting.

    If you know a girl for a while like f.e. a girl whos in the same class as you or works in the same office whatever and then just ask her casually "Do you wanna go for a coffee/lunch?" ... then chances are high she's interpreting it as a "just friends" situation.

    But if you add something like "I can't take my eyes of you for a while and think you're cute, you wanna go for a coffee with me?" (just as an example) she'll know what it's about. Same case if you approach a girl somewhere with something like this and just ask her right away for a coffee around the corner.
     
  16. Fullyawake

    Fullyawake Fapstronaut

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    This whole game wrecks your mind. Don’t do this or she’ll think this. She thinks you’re creepy if you do that. Ugh...we just want to love a woman with all of our heart. We are genuine. Let the walls come down. But instead, they’re either with losers or stay alone. I’m sick of it. Having confidence only gets you so far. If the other side isn’t biting or giving any effort nothing happens. And society wonders why people are so jaded and suicidal.
     
    Knighthawk likes this.

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