I apologize in advance for the length of this post. I write this in hope that somebody will take the time to read through all of it and hopefully provide an alternative perspective. There's some incredibly intellectual people on this site, and I appreciate anybody who takes the time to read this! This might turn into more of a rant then an actual question, but if anyone has input to provide, i'm all ears. My senior year of high school has already been a blur. I wouldn't consider myself outright popular, but within the large population of band geeks in my school i'm very well known and I have many friends. I recently met with one of my friends who graduated last year, and what we talked about really got me to question my whole life up until this point. She was a textbook popular girl last year in high school. She had many friends and everyone knew her name, and she's extremely attractive and charismatic. She's the type of girl that I think will end up changing the world. She described to me that her senior year of high school was the best time of her life. She told me that it was the most fun she had ever had. She now is in college, and has no friends or social life. The majority of her close friends are far away and she essentially studies, sleeps then repeats. Every day. She tells me that she is living in a self-made hell. She wishes she was back in high school. She misses the bell, the bad cafeteria food, and even the bad jokes they tell every morning on the intercom. This visit really got me thinking. I rely so much on my friends at school. I am a very habitual person, and I thrive off of being able to walk into school every morning, high five all of my classmates, say good morning to my teachers, and flirt with beautiful girls. But all this is temporary. In 9 months I will have graduated and none of this will matter. I will never see the majority of my school ever again. I might see some of my closer friends in the months following, but the reality is that only one or two will actually stay in contact with me many years after high school. I don't even like school. The majority of my classmates are just kids stuck in the rat race, fighting for popularity and gossiping about who did what. But I have grown to like it, and now I can't even imagine life after school. The idea that I am going to have to leave my life is so scary. I want to be able to stay in this forever. I have bonded with my friends so much, and we've literally travelled the country performing and competing, which has made us a family. I feel like graduating is going to literally rip me from the only thing which is keeping me sane, which is the people who I have shared so many experiences with. And the answer might seem simple. Why not just keep in contact with your friends? As proven by the previous generations of band kids, they rarely keep in contact. Everyone moves on and seeks their own futures. I suspect in 10 years, everyone I know right now will just be a memory. The bottom line is that I have created a (fairly) ideal world for myself, but I know I am going to have to let it go. Its all going to be a memory. I am cherishing every moment I have left, but that still doesn't change the fact that I will have to move on. And I don't know how I am going to do that. So my question goes out to everyone who experienced something like this. To everyone that had a family in school, and grew to love it like I do. How did you do it? How did you move on, and how did you recover from the loss you experienced? I have some ideas about what careers I want to pursue, but every single one is entrepreneurial, and will be extremely isolating. I don't know how I am going to make friends without band; I am really bad at networking. I don't know how I will survive without the people who give me consultation, and have helped me through every tough point the past several years. I don't know how to make friends without a guitar in my hands. This has been weighing me down for a long time, and I am glad to finally get it off my chest. Growing up is hard. I don't know how all of you did it. I feel like I need to figure out all of these things before I graduate, because if not I am going to end up like my friend: extremely depressed and isolated. I hope it gets easier.