Huge sex addiction + NoFap = Serial killer ? Help plz...

G

GD.lol

Fapstronaut
Hello,

I am about to start a stop PMO challenge, pretty well planned :

- First, I stopped to edge myself for hours (fixed a limit of 5-10min of porn),
- Then I stop watching porn,
- Then I stop to get aroused by some erotica or just girls' pics,
- Then I want to definitely stop masturbating.

Also, it's good to know that I have a GF and I never had any issue to seduce women. But this GF has 25 times lower libido than I have... So we already had some argue about my "needs". So she will not be fully "available" if I have big urges in my NoFap challenge...

Beside all that, I have a problem. I am a real sex-addict. It doesn't explicitly impact my social surroundings, friends or any people (for the moment). But it does affect my mind and so, then, my life... I think about sex all day long. I plan my life regarding to my sex life. I choose my home furnitures regarding to my sex life. I plan my vacations regarding to my sex life.
Often I had some marginal behavior regarding to strangers (girls)..... I can have some perv behavior...
- Watching girls in the street and I enjoy when they notice to make them uncomfortable,
- I already followed some girls on the street, just to watch them more longer,
- I already tried to make girls see my boner through my clothes (I am not an ugly male, and I have a large penis)

So, to summarize : I am a fucking pervert who already though about abductions and rape and so on... I never acted, because I am smart and I have GF, work, daughter and friends... But my mind is kindly fucked up because of sex addiction.


So, actually, I would like to have your points of view, opinions and maybe advises toward me. Because anytime I have read articles and success stories about NoFap, I see a lot about "simple" addictions, with porn addiction and self-confidence problems (work problems, motivation problems...)... I havn't find any useful informations to people like me : who got a "stable" life, who are already selfconfident but already near some illegal situations regarding to sex offence..... So I really need to read your advices and maybe to escape this fear :
Everybody who experienced the stop PMO had, some time, a very big urge period and I don't want to try to force myself to stop PMO when I will have very huge urges I'm afraid to assault/rape anybody (for example). I know that if I do this challenge well, my urges should get lowered pretty soon, but I'm still afraid of that.

Of course if I feel this dangerous feeling, I should just fap.... and retry another time. But that makes no sens regarding to my objective.
Please help me.... I made a huge effort to talk about all this on Internet...
 
GD.lol said:
I know that if I do this challenge well, my urges should get lowered pretty soon, but I'm still afraid of that.
Click to expand...
First big no. Your urges wont stop. Your willpower grows. You learn to control that beast in the cage.

GD.lol said:
- Watching girls in the street and I enjoy when they notice to make them uncomfortable,
- I already followed some girls on the street, just to watch them more longer,
- I already tried to make girls see my boner through my clothes (I am not an ugly male, and I have a large penis)
Click to expand...

You're still watching porn. You're just fooling yourself here. Society today doesn't say this is illegal, but this is just fornication and watching porn, just the medieval way. I would reset counter here just because this is cheating in every way. You can of course do as you like.

GD.lol said:
Also, it's good to know that I have a GF and I never had any issue to seduce women. But this GF has 25 times lower libido than I have... So we already had some argue about my "needs". So she will not be fully "available" if I have big urges in my NoFap's challenges...
Click to expand...

Ah, the girlfriend. I don't know your girlfriend, therefore it's impossible to say anything about her that is precise, but I have a gut feeling that she doesn't like when you watch other women. She probably doesn't like the fact that you have "needs" and that's why she needs to be "available".

GD.lol said:
Please help me.... I made a huge effort to talk about all this on Internet...
Click to expand...
Stop being pervert and start being a good person. It's not like you gain anything from this is it? What you win, when you stare women on the street? Not respect, no power, no anything important. Then again, what you'll win when you don't stare women? self-respect, self-dicipline, admiration of your own girlfriend (perhaps, I don't know her), trust from everyone that feels and sees you're not an addict, trust brings respect and respect is everything.

You can cage the beast and you really don't have to do as urges tell you. It's your brain and you're the one commanding it. Give yourself an order that you stop viewing women in your fantasies and in real life. If it doesn't work, you'll need to train your willpower a lot. Start lifting the boulder, start taking responsibility.


I think this video is relevant.

GD.lol said:
Of course if I feel this dangerous feeling, I should just fap.... and retry another time.
Click to expand...

Yes you should. I've relapsed intentionally about ten times just because I was cheating in some way (edging for example). And there is nothing wrong with that. When you fuck up, you shouldn't act like everything is okay. It isn't. Honesty is really under-rated character in this era.
 
First of all, thank you 1000 times for your interesting answer. It makes me think a lot and I feel positive energy to, as you say, cage the beast.

lantti said:
Ah, the girlfriend. I don't know your girlfriend, therefore it's impossible to say anything about her that is precise, but I have a gut feeling that she doesn't like when you watch other women. She probably doesn't like the fact that you have "needs" and that's why she needs to be "available".
Click to expand...
Yes, you are absolutely right.

lantti said:
Stop being pervert and start being a good person. It's not like you gain anything from this is it? What you win, when you stare women on the street? Not respect, no power, no anything important. Then again, what you'll win when you don't stare women? self-respect, self-dicipline, admiration of your own girlfriend (perhaps, I don't know her), trust from everyone that feels and sees you're not an addict, trust brings respect and respect is everything.
Click to expand...
Damn I never though deeply about that on this way... You are so right.

You are really right... all this pervert acts is just the result of illusional needs and doesn't give me any real benefits, only illusions of sexual fake satisfaction. It is not real, as same as the need to watch porn, actually.
But you can understand that it's very hard to sort this out...

Thank you.

Today, I am not able to fully think about it, but you give me some matter to do it when I will do some meditation.
 
Hey man, as someone new, and a place to start, read my lonnnnnngggg post I link to in my signature.
It probably will be eye opening and give you a foundation to start your recovery in a healthy way.
Keep coming back,
if you are interested,
made a discord to have live conversations with others on here who are struggling. It really helps me to have someone to chat with in a faster manner when I have a dark moment.

Keep fighting the good fight!
 
GD.lol said:
Beside all that, I have a problem. I am a real sex-addict. It doesn't explicitly impact my social surroundings, friends or any people (for the moment). But it does affect my mind and so, then, my life... I think about sex all day long. I plan my life regarding to my sex life. I choose my home furnitures regarding to my sex life. I plan my vacations regarding to my sex life.
Click to expand...
in regards to your issues with sexual thoughts and lifestyle
you have hyper sexualized your thoughts. This is very common, some people get so bad that they start to think about things that they would never engage in. Like sexual activity with someone of the same sex, relatives, or worse. I promise your brain will recover!

A famous psychologist calls this the "imp of the mind". Your imp can be conditioned to bring up thoughts based on your regular mental intake. watch porn way to much, think sex everywhere you see. watch MMA or action too much, think aggressively everywhere you look. watch to much negative news, see negativity everywhere you look. The list goes on and on and on.

you're looking at probably consuming too much of porn man. when you stop that, your brain will work differently.

Do not be alarmed by it. What has happened is you have lost touch with the true you. Do not Identify with your problem. You are a human who has inadvertently conditioned themselves into perversion. Your motivations for doing so are probably very pure and relatable, I.E. loneliness, boredom, etc...

If you identify with the thought, I.E. "I'm think about sex all the time, so I must be a disgusting pervert" then problems will start. Everyone has an Imp, let yours roam around in the back of your mind and accept it exists and it will not rule you. Do not try and kill it or overtake it, make sure it has a home in your brain.
Avoidance of a thought will only lead to more thinking about said thought. The imp will rule you if you try and kill it, it is way more powerful than you are. Many people get crazy OCD from trying to kill the imp.

an example would be moms not taking care of there babies because they have the thought of suffocating them cross there mind. They identify with said thought, then wont take care of there babies because they are afraid of themselves and that they might just do it. They would never do it, it's just bad thinking.

You just need a reset!

Keep moving forward man! you got this
 
I totally feel you. My sexual addiction got worse and worse and escalated to a point that was VERY dangerous. I discovered NoFap and have spent a long time engaged in physical exercises and meditation just to fight the urge to fap... and MUCH worse. I'm into my third week and feeling better. I am simply aware, that if the negative addiction to sex and porn is not dealt with forever, my life will collapse... and not just mine. The so called "super powers" are starting to come and yet some days are easier than others. Today is a good day.

Exercise and meditation have helped. Prayer has helped. Knocking off the booze and stopping smoking have helped. Knocking off the video games has helped.

I fill my free time with books and writing. I ask for overtime at work. I'm definitely getting better but I write to warn all: THERE IS A REAL DANGER TO SEX ADDICTION - IT ESCALATES. You can end up looking in the mirror and seeing a shitty excuse for a human being looking back at you. Now I am starting to feel like a man again... just a man, not a pervert piece of crap.

But NoFap is working. My rules are: No Porn, No sex except normal sex with my wife, no wanking, no staring at women. I use NLP to consciously change my thoughts when I look at women.

I used to be a good person... I will find that person and be him again.
 
MrBony said:
I used to be a good person... I will find that person and be him again.
Click to expand...

I promise you that you are still that person,

I want you to remember,
maybe even use this statement as a mantra, in combination with a self love phrase,
where you are in life, has nothing to do with who you are in life.
people face great adversity and fail all the time, as long as you strive to pick up the pieces, you are that good person you mentioned, you are just lost.
And no one, including yourself, should be able to call you a bad person.
 
GD.lol said:
Hello,

I am about to start a stop PMO challenge, pretty well planned :

- First, I stopped to edge myself for hours (fixed a limit of 5-10min of porn),
- Then I stop watching porn,
- Then I stop to get aroused by some erotica or just girls' pics,
- Then I want to definitely stop masturbating.

Also, it's good to know that I have a GF and I never had any issue to seduce women. But this GF has 25 times lower libido than I have... So we already had some argue about my "needs". So she will not be fully "available" if I have big urges in my NoFap's challenges...

Beside all that, I have a problem. I am a real sex-addict. It doesn't explicitly impact my social surroundings, friends or any people (for the moment). But it does affect my mind and so, then, my life... I think about sex all day long. I plan my life regarding to my sex life. I choose my home furnitures regarding to my sex life. I plan my vacations regarding to my sex life.
Often I had some marginal behavior regarding to strangers (girls)..... I can have some perv behavior...
- Watching girls in the street and I enjoy when they notice to make them uncomfortable,
- I already followed some girls on the street, just to watch them more longer,
- I already tried to make girls see my boner through my clothes (I am not an ugly male, and I have a large penis)

So, to summarize : I am a fucking pervert who already though about abductions and rape and so on... I never acted, because I am smart and I have GF, work, daughter and friends... But my mind is kindly fucked up because of sex addiction.


So, actually, I would like to have your points of view, opinions and maybe advises toward me. Because anytime I have read articles and success stories about NoFap, I see a lot about "simple" addictions, with porn addiction and self-confidence problems (work problems, motivation problems...)... I havn't find any useful informations to people like me : who got a "stable" life, who are already selfconfident but already near some illegal situations regarding to sex offence..... So I really need to read your advices and maybe to escape this fear :
Everybody who experienced the stop PMO had, some time, a very big urge period and I don't want to try to force myself to stop PMO when I will have very huge urges I'm afraid to assault/rape anybody (for example). I know that if I do this challenge well, my urges should get lowered pretty soon, but I'm still afraid of that.

Of course if I feel this dangerous feeling, I should just fap.... and retry another time. But that makes no sens regarding to my objective.
Please help me.... I made a huge effort to talk about all this on Internet...
Click to expand...

I am a sex addict too but being a sex addict and someone who wants to rape are 2 very different things. I never wanted to rape anyone. I had a huge sex drive though. Stop porn now. Porn impacts your life in this fucked up way. Being Porn free from almost 4 months and I don't sexualize people anymore or have sexual fantasies about them

I see them as people not objects to have sex with. I am abstaining from sex too. I couldn't control myself so I had to. It wasn't easy but it was a great decision. I am proud of myself again. Stop sex and porn at least for 1 month. you must disintoxicate before going back to sex. Improve your life so you don't feel the need to have sex as a solution to your problems but in a healthy way
 
GD.lol said:
Hello,

I am about to start a stop PMO challenge, pretty well planned :

- First, I stopped to edge myself for hours (fixed a limit of 5-10min of porn),
- Then I stop watching porn,
- Then I stop to get aroused by some erotica or just girls' pics,
- Then I want to definitely stop masturbating.

Also, it's good to know that I have a GF and I never had any issue to seduce women. But this GF has 25 times lower libido than I have... So we already had some argue about my "needs". So she will not be fully "available" if I have big urges in my NoFap's challenges...

Beside all that, I have a problem. I am a real sex-addict. It doesn't explicitly impact my social surroundings, friends or any people (for the moment). But it does affect my mind and so, then, my life... I think about sex all day long. I plan my life regarding to my sex life. I choose my home furnitures regarding to my sex life. I plan my vacations regarding to my sex life.
Often I had some marginal behavior regarding to strangers (girls)..... I can have some perv behavior...
- Watching girls in the street and I enjoy when they notice to make them uncomfortable,
- I already followed some girls on the street, just to watch them more longer,
- I already tried to make girls see my boner through my clothes (I am not an ugly male, and I have a large penis)

So, to summarize : I am a fucking pervert who already though about abductions and rape and so on... I never acted, because I am smart and I have GF, work, daughter and friends... But my mind is kindly fucked up because of sex addiction.


So, actually, I would like to have your points of view, opinions and maybe advises toward me. Because anytime I have read articles and success stories about NoFap, I see a lot about "simple" addictions, with porn addiction and self-confidence problems (work problems, motivation problems...)... I havn't find any useful informations to people like me : who got a "stable" life, who are already selfconfident but already near some illegal situations regarding to sex offence..... So I really need to read your advices and maybe to escape this fear :
Everybody who experienced the stop PMO had, some time, a very big urge period and I don't want to try to force myself to stop PMO when I will have very huge urges I'm afraid to assault/rape anybody (for example). I know that if I do this challenge well, my urges should get lowered pretty soon, but I'm still afraid of that.

Of course if I feel this dangerous feeling, I should just fap.... and retry another time. But that makes no sens regarding to my objective.
Please help me.... I made a huge effort to talk about all this on Internet...
Click to expand...
I would check into a local support group or sex addiction therapy. It's a real addiction that a lot of people struggle with but there is help out there.
 
With your help, I started my stop PMO with a lot of positive vibes :)
I 100% stopped all this saturday. For the moment : I continue to stare at girls on the street, but little by little I will stop that too.

Also, I can give a tip to everyone because I found a psychological trick that helps me a lot to fight with the urges : the psychological deny :
Anytime I think about porn or fap, I imagine this does not exist !!! It may sound a bit stupid or delusional, but it really works well ! I deeply imagine that the porno doesn't exist and that masturbation does not exist. In that way of thinking, my mind focus instantly on the other things, on my "real" priorities (projects, poker, sport, learning stuff, reading...).

For the moment it works well.

Thank you again for your advises.
 
GD.lol said:
With your help, I started my stop PMO with a lot of positive vibes :)
I 100% stopped all this saturday. For the moment : I continue to stare at girls on the street, but little by little I will stop that too.

Also, I can give a tip to everyone because I found a psychological trick that helps me a lot to fight with the urges : the psychological deny :
Anytime I think about porn or fap, I imagine this does not exist !!! It may sound a bit stupid or delusional, but it really works well ! I deeply imagine that the porno doesn't exist and that masturbation does not exist. In that way of thinking, my mind focus instantly on the other things, on my "real" priorities (projects, poker, sport, learning stuff, reading...).

For the moment it works well.

Thank you again for your advises.
Click to expand...

@GD.lol I hope you won't rape or hurt physically anyone coz that's bad and fucked up
 
Given the part about rape and predatory behavior, I would strongly urge you to seek out professional help. If you notice these things about yourself then do something strong and swift about it right now. These are huge issues which shouldn't be treated lightly at all.
 
English isn't my native language, so sorry if you don't understand everything but I'll try to give you a begin of answer.

I'm a real sex addict, like you when I had read the forum my first reaction has been to think there are only guys with simple addiction and I asked myself if reboot will work for me. Like you I have many times follow a girl in the street just because I liked her ass, and I have already thinked about raping girls (but in my mind I know I'll never do that NEVER it's just a fantasy). I started PMO when I was 12, and since I never stopped, like I said in my introduction previously I masturbated all day long because I work at home, I haven't got a lot of works to do, so I can masturbate many hours (between 6 and 10 hours by day). The fact is PMO totally fucked my mind, when you see girls fucked all day long you can't look at girls in the street without think about that. It's not a long time since I stopped to watching porn (ten days) but to be honest since I stopped I can walk in the street without thinking about sex each time I see a girl, but it's not magic, sometime I think about some fantasies but so much less than before.

I would like to write more but it's not easy for me to write in english. Hope you will understand what I trying to said :D.
 
I'm a sex addict too. Everything I do revolves around sex.

Just accept it and move on. Nothing wrong with us, we just a passionate sex drive, women will appreciate that...in the bedroom!
 
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