Hugs are better than sex

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by PornIsTheNewCocaineOf20Century, Mar 15, 2019.

  1. Hi there!
    As the title says, am I normal?

    Under my nofap period of 80 days I loosed my interest for sex. Now, instead of fantasizing to have sex with someone as I did before nofap, I started to fantasize how I am giving a hug to someone and while fantasizing that, it gives me a dopamine kick as an porn fantasy. So hugs are better than sex for me right now. I have a feeling that being lonely causes that.
    I am also afraid of starting relationships and I do not trust any people, I am an introvert. I don't want to start any relationships because I am afraid of loosing all my money on dates or that I don't gonna have any free time anymore. I am also little bit afraid of women because of those toxic relationships or child support stories... I think that's MGTOW fault that I am afraid of women.
    I am divided in two right now, me that want to hug someone (do not think about the
    consequences of relationships) and me that don't want any relationships and think logically. Those two parts are fighting all the time and I look weird because my emotions are changing all the time.

    Eh... Does someone feel like that?
     
  2. Bombadil

    Bombadil Fapstronaut

    Hugs are awesome. We live in an environment where we are constantly starved for simple human touch. Being single and lonely can mean you get literally no human contact , so of course it's a big deal. It's not a sex thing, it's just a being human thing.

    With the trust thing, you probably need to build it slowly. Don't assume that you need to dive in with both feet right from the word go. Just talking is a really big step, and it does put a lot of fears to rest.

    Hope this helps
     
  3. The Unfadeable

    The Unfadeable Fapstronaut

    428
    1,991
    123
    I don't know what kind of hugging you do but I would have to disagree, LOL. Hugs are great but theres no need to be making crazy declarations like that because hugs and sex are 2 totally different things.

    You go from relying on porn to being non dependent on it so it's a huge adjustment for you. You've rebooted so and youre not sex obsessed and thats wonderful.

    I've always been introverted and I think any man who discounted the advice MGTOW gives is a fool but don't let that stuff indoctrinate you into thinking all women are no good whores.

    You've rebooted so it's time to get out of your comfort zone. Trust is always earned so you never trust anyone with your whole heart off the bat whether man or woman. Don't jump off the cliff with the first woman that shows you affection. Interact with people and use your logical brain and intuition and youll be fine. Youll find that you can read women's intentions much more reliably when you're not obsessed with pussy and your judgement isn't clouded.
     
  4. APLMan

    APLMan Fapstronaut

    7
    14
    3
    Hugs are essential. I have a young niece who's six years old. I love when she readily gives me a hug. It helps while being single with few to no friends.
     
  5. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

    1,453
    3,686
    143
    I would like to give a hug that ends in sex, or sex that ends with hugging, either way sounds good to me.
     
  6. BigOne79

    BigOne79 Fapstronaut

    685
    412
    63
    Yep, I am the same way and trying to get over that myself as well. I am going on dates but it is hard to get past all the BS to know if the girl is genuine or not. I am a sensitive person as well and it is hard to trust someone myself and that need to be earned with somebody..
     
  7. Newlife33

    Newlife33 Fapstronaut

    126
    228
    43
    Intimacy is better then sex
     
  8. Ra's Al Ghul

    Ra's Al Ghul Fapstronaut

    1,127
    2,147
    143
    I don't know, hugs can get pretty intimate. If any guy remembers a time they hugged a gal they really like.
     
  9. Ra's Al Ghul

    Ra's Al Ghul Fapstronaut

    1,127
    2,147
    143
    Unless we're talking one of those "Christian side hugs", those are platonic.
     
    Anew2019, letter and fadedfidelity like this.
  10. Voyager52

    Voyager52 Fapstronaut

    7
    7
    3
    Hugs and touch are wonderful. I miss that more than sex.
     
  11. I need to hug someone, please send me a virtual hug .
     
  12. goodnice 2.0

    goodnice 2.0 Fapstronaut

    *hugs
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  13. goodnice 2.0

    goodnice 2.0 Fapstronaut

    aww I wish i had some younger kids give me hugs. It would be nice
     
    APLMan likes this.
  14. castlerock39

    castlerock39 Fapstronaut

    To be honest, I feel the same way. I remember reading an article a while back that talked about something called "skin craving", sort of the idea that humans have a need for physical touch (hugs, cuddling, hand holding, etc.) totally apart from sex. I also remember learning in a general psychology class a few years back that touch with other humans is very therapeutic and releases a lot of dopamine and other chemicals. That's part of why lots of people like pets like cats and dogs- petting them simulates that dopamine kick. Sort of interesting, but I digress...

    I'm not as far into the reboot as you are, but I do find myself more and more wishing I just had a girl to hold hands and cuddle with. It's not even that much about the sex anymore. I think for me, the reason I got so far into PMO in the first place was loneliness. So actually, yes, I agree with you that I would prefer a hug to sex right now. Due to something somebody posted in another thread, I was reading up a bit on Karezza the other day, and I couldn't help but think that it honestly sounded better than what I'd been watching in porn all these years.

    I also totally get what you mean about not wanting a relationship, but being lonely and wanting hugs. I also struggle with the same thing. Like, I really don't want to waste my time or money on dating right now, but at the same time being alone day after day can wear you down. I don't really have a good solution for you, but you're definitely not alone.
     
    Kip Casey, Bombadil, BigOne79 and 2 others like this.
  15. Capt. U

    Capt. U Fapstronaut

    143
    101
    43

    It's a requirement for me that girls I date love to cuddle. I dated a chick that didn't like to and I knew she had to go just for that. Like bishhhhhh cuddle or gtfo. Lol
     
    castlerock39 likes this.
  16. Master Of Puppets

    Master Of Puppets Fapstronaut

    86
    139
    33
    theres a time and place for everything
     
  17. 1000 hugs
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  18. Hero:HOPE

    Hero:HOPE Fapstronaut

    886
    17,230
    123
    My Journal
    I like this edgy boi
     
  19. Master Of Puppets

    Master Of Puppets Fapstronaut

    86
    139
    33
    i like this weeb boi
     
    Hero:HOPE likes this.
  20. Sunny321

    Sunny321 Fapstronaut

    20
    14
    3
    I have been thinking about it for a long time. Perhaps you are right and this is possible.
     
    Freedom_from_PMO likes this.

Share This Page