"Humans are social creatures"=Overrated - No one can do the work for you...

SirQwerty

Fapstronaut
Preface: This is just my thoughts based on my life experience thus far. I'm open to conversation, as this perspective is not for everyone. In fact, my perspective is probably skewed or extreme, but I needed to jot my thoughts down and hopefully hear from other perspectives.


I feel like "Humans are social creatures" can be an overrated saying. Not to say it isn't true, but in the world today, who is there to socialize with? Sure, there are good people out there, and I was able to encounter some here, but at the end of it all, what difference does it make? The journey of improving o self can be lonely when one realizes no one can do the work for them. Sure, there's motivation and encouragement, but that only goes so far. How strong does a man need to be to go through this life? Very, and much of that strength is built by doing the work alone and not waiting on someone to come and pick you up. God, of course, is always there, but there are seasons where He tests us to strengthen and prove us. How bad do you want it?

I went to a meet-up with some guys a few months back, I was expecting it to bring us closer, but yet I still felt like I was on the fringe of the group. I've been taking to the guys online for 2 years prior to us meeting up in person, but they met once before in person, I just wasn't able to go.

We can only rely on others so much until we need to strengthen ourselves, and our faith and reliance on God.

Additionally, it seems when I try to "put myself out there" I start to realize being alone in my quiet time isn't so bad

Maybe I have yet to find the right people...
 
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I went to a meet-up with some guys a few months back, I was expecting it to bring us closer, but yet I still felt like I was on the fringe of the group. We can only rely on others so much until we need to strengthen ourselves, and our faith and reliance on God.
To make friends it takes a lot of time, a real lot of time. One study says for someone to become a close friend you would need to spend 200 hours with them. That was easy to do at school or in an office environment, but once we leave school or work from home, finding friends can be very difficult.

Based on the above statement, you would have to continue to go back to that meetup multiple times before you make the connections that you desire. Why did you feel like you were on the fringe? Perhaps they all knew each other from spending time together and you were the new guy.

My advice would be to Never Give Up, and find more meetups or other activities where you can become a familiar face.

Good luck, I'm in the same situation. However, I know that I will have to be persistent to find friends.
 
Life is nothing but doing all the things that keep one alive. Every morning I wake up and look at the mirror and be proud of myself reminding today- me is better than yesterday-me. Life becomes easy and worthy of living when one embrace discomfort and pain of growth. The whole universe is void, a human body is nothing but collection of trillions atoms or this society may not have intrinsic meaning, but I can surely live a modest and happy life by harnessing my true self through hardwork, discipline and self improvement that Aristotle named as "Eudaimonia".
 
To make friends it takes a lot of time, a real lot of time. One study says for someone to become a close friend you would need to spend 200 hours with them. That was easy to do at school or in an office environment, but once we leave school or work from home, finding friends can be very difficult.

Based on the above statement, you would have to continue to go back to that meetup multiple times before you make the connections that you desire. Why did you feel like you were on the fringe? Perhaps they all knew each other from spending time together and you were the new guy.

My advice would be to Never Give Up, and find more meetups or other activities where you can become a familiar face.

Good luck, I'm in the same situation. However, I know that I will have to be persistent to find friends.
Thank you for your response. I interacted with these guys for about 2 years in an online group before flying out to meet them. We came from all parts of the country. It was nice, but people are different in person than they are online. I know they respect me, but I still felt distant some days. I've never really felt fully that I fit in anywhere
 
Life is nothing but doing all the things that keep one alive. Every morning I wake up and look at the mirror and be proud of myself reminding today- me is better than yesterday-me. Life becomes easy and worthy of living when one embrace discomfort and pain of growth. The whole universe is void, a human body is nothing but collection of trillions atoms or this society may not have intrinsic meaning, but I can surely live a modest and happy life by harnessing my true self through hardwork, discipline and self improvement that Aristotle named as "Eudaimonia".
I definitely believe life is more than just the base functions of keeping ourselves alive. One thing that had helped me overcome loneliness is strive towards living my higher purpose and calling, and staying disciplined to do so. Thank you for responding
 
Thank you for your response. I interacted with these guys for about 2 years in an online group before flying out to meet them. We came from all parts of the country. It was nice, but people are different in person than they are online. I know they respect me, but I still felt distant some days. I've never really felt fully that I fit in anywhere
Online friends have their place, like here, but meaningful social connections and close friends must be in person. The research shows how negative it is to have only online relationships.

Good luck feeling better about fitting in. My belief is that is a self-confidence issue, the good news is you can change that.
 
To make friends it takes a lot of time, a real lot of time. One study says for someone to become a close friend you would need to spend 200 hours with them. That was easy to do at school or in an office environment, but once we leave school or work from home, finding friends can be very difficult.

Based on the above statement, you would have to continue to go back to that meetup multiple times before you make the connections that you desire. Why did you feel like you were on the fringe? Perhaps they all knew each other from spending time together and you were the new guy.

My advice would be to Never Give Up, and find more meetups or other activities where you can become a familiar face.

Good luck, I'm in the same situation. However, I know that I will have to be persistent to find friends.
This. This right here. The amount of times I was apparently let down because I didn't become friends with people in a faster manner. When I thought I was ready to give up feeling so alien I persevered forward and now I'm sort of being closer to one friend from work. It is a relationship connected by work obviously but also the gym. Being new may feel odd and weird but it is possible to go away after some time.
 
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