I just want to get this off my chest. I’m currently spending lockdown with my girlfriend, and I still can’t stop myself from PMOing. I feel so shit. I’ll binge on porn for an hour and then cuddle up to her in bed as if nothing happened. I know she’d be so hurt if she knew. I’m going to aim for a week without PMO. I really want to be a better person.
It's called shame and it's very powerful. a 7 day streak won't solve your shame - a 30 day streak won't either. It's most likely much much deeper and not caused by porn usage, but by something a long time ago. For most people porn isn't the root cause of issues, it's the physical symptom of them, with shame being the real issue. Yes, abstaining from porn will help a bit - but for real long term relief and recovery, you should talk with a professional who understands shame and addiction and can help you find what's really going on.
A week is a good start, an achievable goal that will prove you have it in you to go further. You sound like you’re not happy with your habits and want genuine change, which is always a good starting point. Im interested to hear you have this problem despite living with your girlfriend. I am always jealous of guys who live with their partners during these times because I imagined sex would be a good option for a release. This clearly isn’t the case with yourself, is there any particular reason PMO is a more attractive option for you?
I’m really not sure why I still do it - it’s not like our sex life is lacking at all. Maybe it’s something to do with the fact that instead of worrying about making someone else feel good, I can just focus on myself? When it comes to addictions I feel like people tend to blame it on their situation - “if I had a girlfriend I’d easily stop” etc. I need to stop blaming things and take responsibility for my actions.
... Having a girlfriend around does not solve the problem of watching porn or masturbating. There is many people who have a girlfriend and are still doing it.
Honesty man, I know how you feel. Girls dont solve this issue and you just gotta work on it yourself. Good luck man, were all rooting for you.
Yes you are right. I even have seen people who married,have child and are truly addicted to PMO but that is not the case.If there is an oath to change our bad habits and how we treat our beloved ones, there is a hope, an incentive to drive us towards our best future that we can possibly reach.
Guys who think that not having a sexual partner is the root of their addiction are just fooling themselves. Porn usage has little to do with having a partner or not. I used the same excuse for years but nothing changed when I got a partner nor when I got married. Anon, you are not a bad person although I well know the feeling of being one myself after PMO and then cuddling. We have a problem that we need to work on.
She knows I’ve struggled in the past and she didn’t understand. I recently told her I completed last year’s no nut november (before we met) and she just played it down and said it’s not a big deal, when to me it was
What does she think of drug addicts or alcoholics? Explain to her that what you are going through is like that
