I’m addicted and can’t stop

[BetterMe92]

hello, I’ve been addicted to porn for near half my life without realizing I was addicted, it has caused problems in the past but always thought this addiction was a hoax, but it’s as real as any of the others. I read a few stories on here and connected with them, I feel bad every time after watching a video, like why do I keep doing this, why do I keep watching porn, I just want it to stop, so I’ve come here to let it out and hopefully start this journey of bettering myself

 

[Boromir son of Denethor]

I’m in the same boat as you. I’ve gone 40 days no PMO, and I’ve had a few streaks. Right now though is not one of those times, and i can’t seem to get hold of myself. I don’t want to watch p, but it’s like I’m being controlled. I really think it has to do with environment and lifestyle. When i am in the forest, doing things, being active, i have no desire to watch P. But day to day, working a lot, having no time for myself, i slip and fall into addiction. All of my streaks have been when i was unemployed. For some reason, having a 9-5 brings back the factor in which i more easily fall into my vices.

 

[Uncle_Iroh]

Hello, and welcome!

I know that this realisation is a horrible one, but finding acceptance and looking for help are huge, and well done for doing so. I know it's not easy.

Sadly this is something that won't leave you, addiction is for life, but it doesn't mean you have to go through with it. I can't say how is best for you to approach a program of recovery, but look around here, learn what you can, and if I am to give you some of my own advice, don't white knuckle it, or go it alone.

Welcome - Sex Addicts Anonymous SAA

Sex Addicts Anonymous, a Twelve Step fellowship, is a safe place in which to heal yourself from sex addiction and harmful sexual behaviours

saauk.info

I'm not sure on your location, but I recommend SAA(they are worldwide, but this is the UK site), and looking at working the 12 Steps to find a good community, and also see that there is a way of going forward with hope. I have to say the 12 steps have changed who I am fundamentally, they've not made me sober, but they've helped me on the road of recovery and it's those things that we need to shift our mindset. If you need any more information just drop me a message.

I'd say a lot more but it's best to start exploring, lookng around and seeing what you feel works for you.

Just take it one day at a time, focus on today and not some "streak" or where you could be. Only one day at a time does the future come around. You needn't be one week, one month or one year sober today!

Peace be with you, and I hope some of this helps!

 

[Zeso]

Hello, and welcome!

I know that this realisation is a horrible one, but finding acceptance and looking for help are huge, and well done for doing so. I know it's not easy.

Sadly this is something that won't leave you, addiction is for life, but it doesn't mean you have to go through with it. I can't say how is best for you to approach a program of recovery, but look around here, learn what you can, and if I am to give you some of my own advice, don't white knuckle it, or go it alone.

Welcome - Sex Addicts Anonymous SAA

Sex Addicts Anonymous, a Twelve Step fellowship, is a safe place in which to heal yourself from sex addiction and harmful sexual behaviours

saauk.info

I'm not sure on your location, but I recommend SAA(they are worldwide, but this is the UK site), and looking at working the 12 Steps to find a good community, and also see that there is a way of going forward with hope. I have to say the 12 steps have changed who I am fundamentally, they've not made me sober, but they've helped me on the road of recovery and it's those things that we need to shift our mindset. If you need any more information just drop me a message.

I'd say a lot more but it's best to start exploring, lookng around and seeing what you feel works for you.

Just take it one day at a time, focus on today and not some "streak" or where you could be. Only one day at a time does the future come around. You needn't be one week, one month or one year sober today!

Peace be with you, and I hope some of this helps!

Thanks for sharing that. Very important recource

 

[BetterMe92]

I’m in the same boat as you. I’ve gone 40 days no PMO, and I’ve had a few streaks. Right now though is not one of those times, and i can’t seem to get hold of myself. I don’t want to watch p, but it’s like I’m being controlled. I really think it has to do with environment and lifestyle. When i am in the forest, doing things, being active, i have no desire to watch P. But day to day, working a lot, having no time for myself, i slip and fall into addiction. All of my streaks have been when i was unemployed. For some reason, having a 9-5 brings back the factor in which i more easily fall into my vic

I’m in the same boat as you. I’ve gone 40 days no PMO, and I’ve had a few streaks. Right now though is not one of those times, and i can’t seem to get hold of myself. I don’t want to watch p, but it’s like I’m being controlled. I really think it has to do with environment and lifestyle. When i am in the forest, doing things, being active, i have no desire to watch P. But day to day, working a lot, having no time for myself, i slip and fall into addiction. All of my streaks have been when i was unemployed. For some reason, having a 9-5 brings back the factor in which i more easily fall into my vices.

Thank you for sharing with me! I know exactly what you mean, like why do I do this to myself, today is my first day, just jumping right into it

 

[BetterMe92]

Hello, and welcome!

I know that this realisation is a horrible one, but finding acceptance and looking for help are huge, and well done for doing so. I know it's not easy.

Sadly this is something that won't leave you, addiction is for life, but it doesn't mean you have to go through with it. I can't say how is best for you to approach a program of recovery, but look around here, learn what you can, and if I am to give you some of my own advice, don't white knuckle it, or go it alone.

Welcome - Sex Addicts Anonymous SAA

Sex Addicts Anonymous, a Twelve Step fellowship, is a safe place in which to heal yourself from sex addiction and harmful sexual behaviours

saauk.info

I'm not sure on your location, but I recommend SAA(they are worldwide, but this is the UK site), and looking at working the 12 Steps to find a good community, and also see that there is a way of going forward with hope. I have to say the 12 steps have changed who I am fundamentally, they've not made me sober, but they've helped me on the road of recovery and it's those things that we need to shift our mindset. If you need any more information just drop me a message.

I'd say a lot more but it's best to start exploring, lookng around and seeing what you feel works for you.

Just take it one day at a time, focus on today and not some "streak" or where you could be. Only one day at a time does the future come around. You needn't be one week, one month or one year sober today!

Peace be with you, and I hope some of this helps!

Thank you for sharing with me, I’ve never had any problems with any other substance, it was so easy to kick it to the curb but when p is mentioned I have no control, so hopefully this day one turns into the rest of my life!

 

[stmos]

Hello, and welcome!

I know that this realisation is a horrible one, but finding acceptance and looking for help are huge, and well done for doing so. I know it's not easy.

Sadly this is something that won't leave you, addiction is for life, but it doesn't mean you have to go through with it. I can't say how is best for you to approach a program of recovery, but look around here, learn what you can, and if I am to give you some of my own advice, don't white knuckle it, or go it alone.

Welcome - Sex Addicts Anonymous SAA

Sex Addicts Anonymous, a Twelve Step fellowship, is a safe place in which to heal yourself from sex addiction and harmful sexual behaviours

saauk.info

I'm not sure on your location, but I recommend SAA(they are worldwide, but this is the UK site), and looking at working the 12 Steps to find a good community, and also see that there is a way of going forward with hope. I have to say the 12 steps have changed who I am fundamentally, they've not made me sober, but they've helped me on the road of recovery and it's those things that we need to shift our mindset. If you need any more information just drop me a message.

I'd say a lot more but it's best to start exploring, lookng around and seeing what you feel works for you.

Just take it one day at a time, focus on today and not some "streak" or where you could be. Only one day at a time does the future come around. You needn't be one week, one month or one year sober today!

Peace be with you, and I hope some of this helps!

12. Step programs are excellent I go to one as well for for for infidelity and pornography.
And it’s been changing my whole life. I don’t think I would be where I’m at right now. If it wasn’t for those programs, I highly recommend you get into one of these.

 

[beersquash]

Welcome to the journey, I too am new to this group, but I have already found it very helpful.
I was like you, for a long time,I didn't think I had a problem, even with two broken engagements and thousands of dollars spent. I had to come clean to my girlfriend and with that, she ended our relationship. That is the kickstart/motivation/inspiration I needed to actually take this seriously. I installed a content blocker on my devices, I joined a 12 step program, I have an accountability partner and join one of the account ability groups through NoFap as well.
I know I have a lot of work to go, but having support like this community has been helpful for me.

 

[Meshuga]

thought this addiction was a hoax, but it’s as real as any of the others.

It’s very real. Sorry you have to be here, but it’s better to fight your addiction in community.

having a 9-5 brings back the factor in which i more easily fall into my vices.

That’s incredibly unfortunate, with the need to eat. Do you PMO at work, or is it at home? Before or after you leave?

 

[SuperFan]

I feel bad every time after watching a video, like why do I keep doing this, why do I keep watching porn, I just want it to stop

It's important to realize that your brain chemistry is working against you--that's why this is so hard, and it's why we refer to this as an addiction, and not just a problematic behavior. It also tends to (though not always) be more about suppressing negative emotions than about sexual craving.

You keep going back to porn because either 1) your brain has gotten conditioned to the dopamine rush that it brings, or 2) you're subconsciously avoiding a negative emotion (and in truth it's probably some mix of the two). The short book "Your Brain On Porn" goes into detail about this, but you can also watch an informative video here.

All that being said, try to give yourself some grace. It's a huge step just admitting that it's a problem and making a commitment to change. It's a challenging road but it's worth it.

 

[BetterMe92]

It's important to realize that your brain chemistry is working against you--that's why this is so hard, and it's why we refer to this as an addiction, and not just a problematic behavior. It also tends to (though not always) be more about suppressing negative emotions than about sexual craving.

You keep going back to porn because either 1) your brain has gotten conditioned to the dopamine rush that it brings, or 2) you're subconsciously avoiding a negative emotion (and in truth it's probably some mix of the two). The short book "Your Brain On Porn" goes into detail about this, but you can also watch an informative video here.

All that being said, try to give yourself some grace. It's a huge step just admitting that it's a problem and making a commitment to change. It's a challenging road but it's worth it.

Thank you! I appreciate your words! I have a wife and i dont want to lose her over this kind of thing and thank you for the video and book suggestions!

 

[stmos]

Thank you! I appreciate your words! I have a wife and i dont want to lose her over this kind of thing and thank you for the video and book suggestions!

A podcast series that’s helped me out a lot is
Is the overcoming pornography for good by Sara Brewer.

It deals a lot with the concept of shame, and the concept of conditioning and why we keep going back to porn. It also covers a concept of urge surfing.

Overcome Pornography for Good

Podcast · Sara Brewer · This podcast is for anyone who wants to overcome pornography for good. It will teach you about your brain and how to completely quit a pornography habit, 100% shame-free. If your ideal life doesn't include a porn habit, then this is the show for you. Visit sarabrewer.com...

open.spotify.com

I highly recommend you listen to it. It’s really good.

 

[wastewater]

Hello, and welcome!

I know that this realisation is a horrible one, but finding acceptance and looking for help are huge, and well done for doing so. I know it's not easy.

Sadly this is something that won't leave you, addiction is for life, but it doesn't mean you have to go through with it. I can't say how is best for you to approach a program of recovery, but look around here, learn what you can, and if I am to give you some of my own advice, don't white knuckle it, or go it alone.

Welcome - Sex Addicts Anonymous SAA

Sex Addicts Anonymous, a Twelve Step fellowship, is a safe place in which to heal yourself from sex addiction and harmful sexual behaviours

saauk.info

I'm not sure on your location, but I recommend SAA(they are worldwide, but this is the UK site), and looking at working the 12 Steps to find a good community, and also see that there is a way of going forward with hope. I have to say the 12 steps have changed who I am fundamentally, they've not made me sober, but they've helped me on the road of recovery and it's those things that we need to shift our mindset. If you need any more information just drop me a message.

I'd say a lot more but it's best to start exploring, lookng around and seeing what you feel works for you.

Just take it one day at a time, focus on today and not some "streak" or where you could be. Only one day at a time does the future come around. You needn't be one week, one month or one year sober today!

Peace be with you, and I hope some of this helps!

" Sadly this is something that won't leave you,..." So true, can't be emphasized enough. Thx, Uncle_Iroh

 

[Boromir son of Denethor]

It’s very real. Sorry you have to be here, but it’s better to fight your addiction in community.


That’s incredibly unfortunate, with the need to eat. Do you PMO at work, or is it at home? Before or after you leave?

At home. After, but sometimes before.

 

[Meshuga]

At home. After, but sometimes before.

Ok. So you know your danger spot. Can you structure where you spend your time so you're less vulnerable?

 

[WelcomeToReality]

hello, I’ve been addicted to porn for near half my life without realizing I was addicted, it has caused problems in the past but always thought this addiction was a hoax, but it’s as real as any of the others. I read a few stories on here and connected with them, I feel bad every time after watching a video, like why do I keep doing this, why do I keep watching porn, I just want it to stop, so I’ve come here to let it out and hopefully start this journey of bettering myself

I’m really glad you shared what you’re going through. Acknowledging it out loud is a huge first step. You’re not alone—so many people thought it was just a harmless habit until they realized it was running their lives, too. There’s nothing silly or made-up about this struggle. It’s real, and it can weigh on you just like any other addiction.

It might feel confusing or even shameful right now, but remember that feeling bad after watching isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s actually your mind hinting that you’re ready to change. You’ve already taken a brave step by coming here and expressing what’s been on your mind.

The road ahead may feel uncertain, but it’s absolutely possible to break free. As you explore others’ stories, you’ll see a pattern: once you understand what’s really going on in your head—why you reach for porn even when you don’t want to—you can start letting go of it. Bit by bit, you’ll learn to live without feeling chained to that habit.

You deserve a life where you aren’t questioning yourself after every video. Keep reading, keep asking questions, and don’t be afraid to share more when you need support. With time, understanding, and the right mindset, you can absolutely turn this around. This can be the start of a whole new way of living. Stay strong—you’ve got this.