I’m addicted to hearing about girls’ sex lives

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by superstorm250, May 21, 2019.

  1. superstorm250

    superstorm250 Fapstronaut

    Sorry for this being so long!

    Been meaning to make this thread for awhile, because this addiction can be very dangerous and I believe that I can actually be more damaging than porn. So this started back in 2015 when the whisper app was still popular, I used to make posts asking girls who’ve had sex to PM me because I needed some advice and when some girls responded, I would first ask if they were over 18 and if they were, I would tell them that I wanted a girl’s opinion on some things that I want to try in bed with a girl. So I would ask them some things and as time went on and they got more comfortable with talking to me, we would just start talking more and more about her sex life in graphic detail and there were even some times when she knew that I was getting off to what she was telling me and didn’t mind, no pics were ever exchanged, we would always just talk about her sex life. This went on for awhile and even made me over an hour late for work on more than one occasion because I couldn’t pry myself away from the app.

    I finally managed to break free as the whisper app lost popularity, but it has r been resurfacing again as I have recently discovered the subreddit r/dirtykikpals this subreddit’s purpose is to help people find someone to have X rated chats with via Kik. When I discovered this, I quickly made a post and got some responses from girls willing to talk about their sex lives. Only this time I think it was more dangerous because they knew going into it that I’m getting off to what they’re telling me and they have no problem with that. A few weeks ago, I literally talked to a girl all day about her sex life after she responded to my Reddit post. I had to force myself to go out and work because every fiber of my being wanted me to stay home and fap with one hand and text her on Kik with the other.

    I get so much more aroused by this than I do from porn, but it affects my real life responsibilities so much more than porn does, this addiction started because I have very low confidence and I’ve felt like this is the closest I will ever come to having sex. I want to advise everyone not to get into this, it will bring you nothing but trouble.
  2. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

    I don't find this surprising at all really, it's just like porn - in porn we got off to seeing another woman have sex with another man, your issue is not that different. What erotic stories are too. But it is what it is regardless: it's cuckoldry-lite, like porn is.

    You should not be interested and certainly not get aroused about a woman's sex life. You either have sex with her or you don't.

    Whether it's porn/erotica/sex fantasizing or what you were doing, it's all very unhealthy, you're trying to get "sex" and you sacrifice your dignity as a man while watching/hearing etc another woman get fked.
  3. g2stop

    g2stop Fapstronaut

    There is no substitute for real sex with a loving partner
  4. Um, @superstorm250 do many of these turn out to be guys cat fishing you?
  5. superstorm250

    superstorm250 Fapstronaut

    I agree, but my confidence is so low that I feel like living vicariously through other people’s sex lives like I described is the closest I will ever come to having real sex, that is what’s made me keep doing this.
    Deleted Account likes this.
  6. superstorm250

    superstorm250 Fapstronaut

    Before I started doing what I described in my post, I tried to use the whisper app for traditional sexting and I did have a guy catfish me when I did that. But ever since I started talking to girls about their sex lives instead, that hasn’t happened again. No pics are ever exchanged when I talk with girls about their sex lives, we just talk at length about the sex she’s had.
  7. I feel you. I think reality shows and actors are famous because they harness the need to live outside your reality. It feeds the escape right?

    Minus the M part, most ppl like to hear stories.

    Underneath vicarious living is a need to have a safe space. It’s similar to anonymous sharing... or ppl who develop lives in an artificial world too...

    Do you think you can become stronger ?
    RobbyGo36 likes this.
  8. superstorm250

    superstorm250 Fapstronaut

    Yeah that’s exactly what it is that I do, anonymous sharing because we never tell each other our names and never exchange pics. I hope I can become stronger and stop doing this, it was very upsetting when I found that subreddit because I instantly gave into temptation and made a post, and it’s even worse that I don’t even have to pretend to need sex advice anymore like I did on the whisper app because the girls who respond to a post on the subreddit know going into it that we’re talking about her sex life because it turns me on and that I’m fapping to what she’s telling me.

    I’m away from home right now to work at my summer job that I do every year so and I made a promise to myself that I will at least not do it again until my summer job ends for the season, and I’ve stuck with it so far. I honestly need an accountability partner to be honest because for me, this is so much worse than porn because its much more personal and allows for even longer fap sessions due to literally talking to girls about this for hours at a time, where with porn you can finish in 5 minutes or even less if you want.
    need4realchg likes this.
  9. If you want to have an AP hit me up bro. It’s something I’m new at but I look at it like the only way I can screw up is by ghosting. Lol.

    I have multiple AP guys.
    superstorm250 likes this.
  10. superstorm250

    superstorm250 Fapstronaut

    Thanks, I might just take you up on that because I really need an AP since I know that I’m gonna slip and go back to this as soon as my summer job ends for the season. I also need help staying away from porn because I have relapsed on that a few times despite being able to successfully stay away from this sex life fapping. I need to stay away from everything, especially the addiction mentioned in this post.
    need4realchg likes this.
  11. Monk1415

    Monk1415 Fapstronaut

    xD hilarious bro

    I think you should stop tho, you sound like your turning into a womans gay friend, gay men have to probably listen to sht like this too from their female friends. lol try to stop is my advice.
  12. Michael Sternig

    Michael Sternig Fapstronaut

    I don't know you but I don't think this is the closest to real sex you can achieve in your life. You gotta get strong, confident and centered. Follow your purpose, have a dream, live your life. 'The' woman will follow then, for sure.
    Good books about this are 'How to be a 3% man' and 'The way of the superior man', you can find them online for free.
  13. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    Don't log on these sites.

    Also, why don't you find a real life girl to talk about this with? Better yet do these things with her.
    xxmemel0verxx likes this.
  14. Did that work for you when trying to quit PMO?
    kropo82 likes this.
  15. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    No haha! I got a porn blocker on my phone and laptop. The phone one can't be disabled but the laptop one can without problem. It basically is there to stop accidental porn viewing on my computer (pop-ups) as it won't prevent me from actual porn if I desire it. I also have been finding new ways through studying this addiction to control my urges. Some stuff I find that helps is staying busy, fasting, going outside, taking deep breaths when stressed.

    That doesn't mean what I said is bad advice. Sure there are tricks we can use to overcome our urges. But at the end of the day what we need to do is just not do it. Don't look up porn. Don't go on these sites like the whisper app. It's easier said than done but that doesn't mean it isn't the ultimate solution.
    need4realchg likes this.
  16. hahaha you made me laugh so good today! glad you got my point.

    Clearly, the "Don't do that " advice is great, but is it effective? LOL.

    You can replace the entire PMO website with that one line LOOOL.

    "I can't stop looking at porn"
    --Don't look up porn man.

    "I am having trouble with PIED"
    --Don't look up porn man.

    "I feel anxious when I see ass at the gym"
    --Don't look up porn man.

    hhahaha! You should put that on your signature line :D
    MixerAwersome and TimeToQuitNow like this.
  17. InnerFaith

    InnerFaith Fapstronaut

    wow, women's stories about sex sounds so boring to me.. show that people are so diffent sometimes
    +TenPercent likes this.
  18. kittyintheworld

    kittyintheworld Fapstronaut

    Dude. Dont sext.

    Its depressing addicting and counts as relapse . Dont do it.
    +TenPercent and TimeToQuitNow like this.
  19. I’m fighting this fight. Whisper is the worst thing that happened to me. I don’t struggle with porn much at all but chatting is another story. I’m impressed you were able to get away from it. I am new to this forum and I’m trying to get out of this bad, unhealthy trap I keep falling into.
  20. Hey man :)
    I fought that fight too, a similar one at least, chatting and such.
    What helped me stop it all was to PROMISE my SO to never do it again.
    I couldnt motivate myself to stop by myself, so I told her about it all and she is so understanding and helpful.
    After that promise, I simply cannot let her down.
    I dont know if you have an SO, but either way, make a promise to someone, a promise you simply cannot let yourself break.

    Chatting is the worst, it took me down a path of no return, i eventually reslised and thats when I told her about it.
    I have been ”clean”(?) for like half a year and the urges have gone away completely by now.

    The first step is the hardest, the very decision, stopping yourself from going for that ”last time”.

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