I’m addicted to porn

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Prettyricky.96, Oct 31, 2022.

  1. Prettyricky.96

    Prettyricky.96 Fapstronaut

    15
    16
    3
    Hello everyone,

    I believe that I’m addicted to porn and masturbating. The thing is that back when I used to live with my parents I used to watch so much porn and I used to masturbate a lot too. I had so much free time because I was just in school and every night of every day for hours I would watch porn and masturbate. I love watching porn and masturbating but I have come to realize that anything in excess as good as it makes you feel is really damaging.

    I started when I was about 12 and I’m 26 now. I want to stop because I have read of all the benefits you get from abstaining from watching porn and masturbating and I want that. About three years ago I was watching porn one night and all of a sudden I couldn’t get hard anymore and I got really scared and worried. Fast forward to now and I still can’t get hard the way I used to but now I kind of have accepted it. That is why I want to stop plus to get all the other benefits. I don’t know what to do to stop, before I joined NoFap I had made it to about four or five days without masturbating but then I would get the urge to watch porn or look at nudes. I don’t know how to stop these urges to look at nudes or porn.
     
    Onan the Barbarian and henryhill like this.
  2. SilentWolfSong

    SilentWolfSong Fapstronaut

    When you don't masturbate, you naturally have more energy, are happier, engage the world more, are more confident.

    And the fact that you can get hard again helps out the confidence because you feel like you are whole again.

    What are the benefits you want to see?
     
  3. Prettyricky.96

    Prettyricky.96 Fapstronaut

    15
    16
    3
    So let me talk about really quick what I have noticed these last 14 yrs. I have noticed that my orgasms are really, really, really weak compared to back then, I also don’t get post nut clarity anymore, my semen is transparent and watery instead of thick and white, and like I said my erections. But the thing that confuses me is that three years ago I got really depressed, like I had never felt as low as I did and that night was during my depression. I don’t know if my ED is due to my porn addiction or from my depression, my testosterone levels are normal so it’s something more complicated. Like you said about feeling tired, I have been feeling really tired recently but I’ve also been masturbating for about half of my life so idk if that is the reason. What I want is to get my erections back and I want to clear my mind, they say porn creates brain fog so I want to see if it’s true. I want to see the benefits myself.
     
    WBradford and henryhill like this.
  4. Rokytryhard

    Rokytryhard Fapstronaut

    9
    14
    3
    Don't give up bro. You will make it
     
    Life_05, Prettyricky.96 and henryhill like this.
  5. henryhill

    henryhill Fapstronaut

    428
    1,163
    123
    There definitely are lots of benefits to it but it can take some time.

    I find for myself the longest stretches occur when I am filling my life with good activities like socializing, physical fitness, and other hobbies.

    best of luck with your efforts to overcome porn!
     
    willpower2020 and Prettyricky.96 like this.
  6. ImprovingDutch

    ImprovingDutch Fapstronaut

    Addicitions usually don't come falling out of the sky. There is a genetic aspect to it, some people are just more prone to develop addictions than others, but usually the cause is psychological. Every human being has cravings, that's what drives us and makes life meaningful. However, in an average situation, those cravings shouldn't cause any problems and it should be possible to regulate them. It's a whole other story when the alternative (not engaging in your craving) leads to unwanted results (usually suffering), making it the only solution to engage in what your craving wants, and thus numbing the pain.

    I think a good starting point is to ask yourself: what is it that porn and masturbation gives you, and what is it that it takes away from you? In other words, what suffering or pain are you trying to avoid by engaging in this behaviour? I would recommend you to start doing therapy if that's a possibility for you, so you can figure out what has caused you to develop this addiction.
     
    Prettyricky.96 likes this.
  7. Prettyricky.96

    Prettyricky.96 Fapstronaut

    15
    16
    3
    Sorry for saying it’s an addiction, it’s not like I was diagnosed with a porn addiction but I didn’t know what else to call it. When I was in college I remember feeling excited to watch porn at the end of the day. I hated going to school so watching porn and masturbating was one of two things that made me forget about anything that caused me stress and anxiety. And now I’m really lonely, I’ve never had a gf and I’m still a virgin so watching porn is the only way to fill that void. I think that’s why I watch porn.
     
  8. SilentWolfSong

    SilentWolfSong Fapstronaut

    No worries about calling it an addiction. Do you have a large social circle? I'm not one to speak, but if you spend time hanging out with friends, you'll be a lot more satisfied than if you were to waste energy jerking off at home. If it's because they need work done around their house, you'll feel even happier, because you were productive.

    I'm the same as you, except I had a gf for six months before breaking it up after some stressful events of life.

    Find a way to gain self respect, self confidence, where you have made your place in the world, and you only allow in your life things that add good. A good girl will want a guy like that.
     
    henryhill and Prettyricky.96 like this.
  9. Prettyricky.96

    Prettyricky.96 Fapstronaut

    15
    16
    3
    I don’t have any friends. My brother and I moved out of our parents’ house and now it’s just us but now he has a gf and a group of friends that he hangs out with all the time. I literally have no one to talk to anymore, porn is what would give me some sort of happiness.
     
  10. ImprovingDutch

    ImprovingDutch Fapstronaut

    I didn't mean to imply you can't call it an addiction. If it's getting in the way of living your life in a meaningful and productive way, it's safe to say it's an addiction. I just meant to say that addictions don't "just happen," and that I think it's a good start to figure out what underlying problems are causing this addiction to exist.
    I'm sorry about that brother. The feeling of loneliness really sucks, I know. Not having had a girlfriend and still being a virgin is not a bad thing per se though! So many people settle for the least, just because they're scared of being alone or ending up alone because they are afraid that they won't find the right person for them, and as a result they are in an unhappy relationship. Also realise that having a girlfriend is not going to magically solve everything. Moreover, if there is really a craving to be in a relationship (i.e. an aversion towards being alone), then that's a good sign that a relationship is going to be the last think you want. As the cliche goes, you first have to learn to love yourself and be at ease being single and build a stable life around you before you are able to get into a stable relationship. A relationship should complement, not complete, your life. I am 24 and only now realising that I have to first learn to embrace myself and be comfortable with myself and allow myself to live before I can have a healthy relationship. As a result, all my past relationships have been worse than my time being alone and sometimes even lead to so much damage that I needed weeks or months after the breakup to recover and come back to functioning again.
    Do you know Maslow's heirarchy of needs? It's not a hard-proven scientific tool, but it is sometimes used in psychology and it does happen to be more or less accurate in real life.[​IMG]
    Basically, you start at the bottom and you can only move up one level if most of the items in the level below it are fulfilled. Thus, you obviously can't have personal security and proper health if you don't have food or shelter. Going up, you can't really have meaningful friendships or relationships if you don't have your basic things in check such as finances, your health, etc. Note again that this isn't hard science, it's more like a guide! And consequently, you don't need to fulfill everything in a layer to go up, just the majority of things.

    Again, I think it would be really helpful for you to try therapy. Even if it's just 1 session, it's more than nothing. I can also recommend checking out Jordan Peterson's content. It has truly helped me go from someone stuck in the victim mode, blaming all my problems on my surroundings and having only toxic friends around me because I was too afraid to voice my opinions into someone who has a very solid day routine, getting up every day at 5.30 AM, getting the things done I need to do, building meaningful friendships that enrich my life and being more daring to voice what I think. His content can be quite harsh and confronting though, but I think we all need someone to tell us some hard truths once in a while.

    As for the porn addiction, don't try to quit everything cold turkey. I feel like there's much more going on under the surface, and trying to quit everything at once is just going to throw you into a confusing hellhole. Instead, try to make little steps. First, find motivation for yourself, reasons for doing this. Just telling yourself you do this "to quit porn" is not a very strong motivation. Think about the person you could be if you would successfully drop this addiction. The dreams you want to pursue, the people around you that will benefit, the benefits you can get yourself! Make a list of reasons for quitting and keep referring back to that once in a while. Next step is to gradually reduce exposure. Focus on porn first, masturbation is a really really really hard one to drop and you need to be in a mentally strong place to manage. So, focus on cutting out porn first. Do you watch porn every day? Try to reduce it to once every day. If that's too much, then cut out 2 days per week, or maybe just 1, and do that for 2 or 3 weeks. Then take away another day, and that way gradually reduce the amount of days you watch porn. But you have to take this serious and make a commitment with yourself to stick to this, otherwise it's not going to work (that's where your rules of motivators come in handy!) You can also start a rebooting journal here on the forums. Just a place to write down your thoughts and feelings and keep track of your journey. (You can check out mine through my profile) You probably won't get as much traffic during the first few days, but that shouldn't be the main reason. Do it for yourself, and with some time, you might get some fellow adventures walking the path along with you!

    One last advice I can give is to take this very serious and do whatever you think is necessary. Are you unable to resist looking up websites? Install a porn blocker on your phone and computer, or even block websites through your internet router. You can install plugins on your browser that filter adult content and set up your Google account so that it turns on the family filter. You can even go hardcore mode and decide to switch to a dumbphone (basically a 2022-style Nokia brick), so you don't get tempted to look up stuff on your phone. There are many other things you can do that you can easily find on this forum, Google or the NoFap subreddit!

    You got this man. But the only one who can change it is you! You have to decide that it's enough and that something has to change, and only you can make this change. But you are willing to make this change, because otherwise you wouldn't be in this place. I believe in you, and many others on here also believe in you! And also, don't be afraid to ask help. We are all here with our struggles and everyone here has their own story and their own hurdles, but we can get over them together, with each other's help.

    Good luck!
     
  11. Prettyricky.96

    Prettyricky.96 Fapstronaut

    15
    16
    3
    okay I get it, it has gotten in the way before. Like I spend about 20-30 min every day watching porn, well I used to so that is why I decided to stop.
    I understand, but I’m not going to be dating ANY girl I’m not attracted to just because I feel lonely. That’s not right, because there have been a few girls that have been attracted to me but I wasn’t attracted to them. I could’ve had my first relationship with one of them but I didn’t want to because I wasn’t attracted to them.


    I know, that’s why I want to improve myself. This is just one problem that I want to fix, I still have a lot of other things I have to fix about myself like low self esteem, no confidence, perfectionism and low self worth.
    I was going to a therapist but I don’t think it was helping. I’ll go ahead and look for another but I can’t afford one right now.

    I’m glad that everything is going well for you, someday I hope I can say the same thing about myself. But these past few months have been really hard, I have been trying to wake up early to do the stuff that I need to do but I just can’t find the motivation to wake up as soon as my alarm goes off. I still wake up earlier than I used to but not as early as I would like and then I feel bad about myself for not waking up earlier. I don’t know why I don’t feel motivated anymore.


    I did watch porn everyday, I have not watched porn or masturbated in about three days. I tried to stop watching porn and masturbating about a few weeks ago and I only made it to about four days and then I masturbated again. Porn was easier to drop but I watched porn last week but I was also looking at nudes but that is still considered porn in a way. So yeah, it’s been really hard but I will go ahead and write down the reasons of why I have to stop.
    Thank you so much!
     
  12. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    They say admitting is the first step. Welcome!
     
  13. SilentWolfSong

    SilentWolfSong Fapstronaut

    Admitting is the first step. You cannot stop this journey. You are on the path to quitting porn.

    Do you work/have a job? How do you spend your time? School?
     
    TimeToQuitNow and henryhill like this.
  14. WBradford

    WBradford Fapstronaut

    It really is an addiction tho. In the same way that anything else is. You partake in something that causes a surge of dopamine, which is a chemical your brain uses to motivate you do it again. Like, you catch an animal while hunting, or you see a naked woman. The dopamine tells you to keep doing it. It becomes destructive when you have a seemingly unlimited instant supply of dopamine provided thru P. Infinite novelty. Put a rooster in a pen with a chicken and theyll bang once. Keep changing the chicken and the rooster will keep banging until it collapses. This is an unnatural situation that our bodies are not built for. Thus you get negative side effects like depression, anxiety, poor self esteem, poor sociability, low energy, etc.

    Source: “Your Brain on Porn”
     
  15. Prettyricky.96

    Prettyricky.96 Fapstronaut

    15
    16
    3
    Sorry for replying so late, I actually forgot about this place.

    Yes, I do have a job, I work from 3pm-11pm. I am trying to wake up early so I can do more productive stuff. I graduated two years ago. And I know, I realized that probably the reason why I have been feeling the way I have is due to porn. This is my second week without any PMO and I feel like I’m going insane. I feel like I NEED PMO but I know I can’t do it. I really need that rush of dopamine.
     
    henryhill likes this.
  16. Prettyricky.96

    Prettyricky.96 Fapstronaut

    15
    16
    3
    Thanks for that info, it makes it easier to understand. Well I’m two weeks in and my cravings have gotten stronger. I don’t see any improvement either.
     
    henryhill likes this.
  17. SilentWolfSong

    SilentWolfSong Fapstronaut

    Good good. No worries, I look forward to not seeing you here :p

    The only way through is to stick it out. It is tough. Both the need for dopamine and the physical urges can be extremely difficult to cope with. But releasing will just restart the process. There's nothing to be gained from giving in. You just hit the same stage and you'll say
    "I didn't get past here last time, maybe I can't."
    "I've done well enough, I should give myself a dopamine reward."
    "Just once isn't that bad, all these other guys are failing."
    "I can't stop myself."
    "I should PMO to eliminate the urge so I don't seem horny to girls."
    "I think I'm better, I get hard now, I don't need to do NoFap anymore."
    "My boner won't go away, what else can I do but PMO?"
    "It's driving me crazy, I can't think!"
    "Just a little bit of touching, it feels good."
    "Just a little bit of P, I like getting hard."
    "Just a little bit of P-sub, it's not that bad, what could go wrong."
    "They're just personal ads, woman/man seeking woman/man, it's not a picture."
    "It's just audio, it's like a real person, maybe it helps me heal."
    "Does my blocker work? I should check. Maybe there's a work around I should eliminate for when I'm ACTUALLY horny."

    Having answers to all of these statements, and being able to follow through, would be helpful imo.

    Common answers to urges are to urinate, take a cold shower, do some exercise, just get out of the house, go shopping, take a drive, hang out with a friend.

    You have gone two weeks. You should be congratulated on that, considering the major change you've made. Two more weeks and you've gone a month. Just take it day by day. Your focus is not improving the next two weeks, today. Your focus is improving today, today.
     
  18. Prettyricky.96

    Prettyricky.96 Fapstronaut

    15
    16
    3
    Okay thanks, I know that two weeks is great, back before I even decided to stop I used to think going about two or three days was impossible. My goal is to go a month but taking it day by day is really great. Just focusing on making it through each day should be the way to think about it. I deleted my social media and I unsubscribed from all the YouTube channels of girls I find really attractive and it sucks. I guess that even if I’m not looking at nudes, to me looking at girls trying on lingerie and bikinis is still wrong. I’m trying to stay as busy as I can. Thank You for cheering me on
     
    henryhill and willpower2020 like this.
  19. SilentWolfSong

    SilentWolfSong Fapstronaut

    Two weeks is very healing, the hard part is the physical response. YouTube is bad juju, I've blocked it personally but each to their own! Staying busy is good, but if you're able, go out in nature and sit. It's away from a computer, and it's slow paced. Thinking through stuff and talking to yourself will help build up a mental resistance. "Do I really want to do this?" imo. Let's keep going!
     
    henryhill, Prettyricky.96 and again like this.
  20. Pauley

    Pauley Fapstronaut

    This might be a health issue. Are you fit? Do you have a good weight? Are you muscular? Do you take drugs? Have a good diet?

    If it's porn induced or not this sounds very serious. You should analyze the other factors too. In any way: quitting porn will bring many good habits that will answer all the above questions positively in the future.
     
    Prettyricky.96 likes this.

Share This Page