Doitforher2024
New Fapstronaut
It’s taken far too long for me to bite the bullet and finally commit to this.
I’ve been using porn effectively all my life, at least once a day. To be honest, I never really thought much of it as it seemed to regulate itself, but maybe I’ve just gotten so desensitised to it I can barely keep track. This all changed just over two years ago when I met the love of my life. She’s perfect in every way: loving, kind, intelligent, understands me better than I can myself. My porn usage had to stop, my life is full of fuckups and this was not going to be one of them. For nearly a year, I was completely free, then it began to creep in, then there was more and more and more, each time getting more extreme and taboo.
What I’m watching isn’t me, it doesn’t reflect me or my values. When I snap back into what I want to be, I have to hold back vomit. The only reason I haven’t buried a knife into my wrist is because I couldn’t hurt her.
So today it all stops. That wank after work, the one when she’s in the library at night, the afternoon one when I have some free time. I’m better than this, to think of all the hours I spent watching porn when I could’ve been actively making our lives better. I’m not ashamed to say I’ve cried over it many times.
I cannot hurt her, I cannot fuck this up, I am capable of a beautiful life, brimming with joy, passion and most importantly, dignity.
I am an addict, Not a failure.
- J
I’ve been using porn effectively all my life, at least once a day. To be honest, I never really thought much of it as it seemed to regulate itself, but maybe I’ve just gotten so desensitised to it I can barely keep track. This all changed just over two years ago when I met the love of my life. She’s perfect in every way: loving, kind, intelligent, understands me better than I can myself. My porn usage had to stop, my life is full of fuckups and this was not going to be one of them. For nearly a year, I was completely free, then it began to creep in, then there was more and more and more, each time getting more extreme and taboo.
What I’m watching isn’t me, it doesn’t reflect me or my values. When I snap back into what I want to be, I have to hold back vomit. The only reason I haven’t buried a knife into my wrist is because I couldn’t hurt her.
So today it all stops. That wank after work, the one when she’s in the library at night, the afternoon one when I have some free time. I’m better than this, to think of all the hours I spent watching porn when I could’ve been actively making our lives better. I’m not ashamed to say I’ve cried over it many times.
I cannot hurt her, I cannot fuck this up, I am capable of a beautiful life, brimming with joy, passion and most importantly, dignity.
I am an addict, Not a failure.
- J
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