I’m new and it ruined my relationship

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Kimball10, Feb 28, 2020.

  1. Kimball10

    Kimball10 New Fapstronaut

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    Hi everyone I’m 26 year old and was in a 5 year relationship and I feel like porn ruined my life. I’m saying my life because I honestly thought I was going to marry this girl. So here’s my story. So in October 2019 my gf found out that I was paying for porn and she immediately started saying if she wasn’t good enough that if She didn’t please me, and of course that wasn’t the case I guess I was just used to watching it but I would do it behind her back and we never talked about how she felt about it. And of course I see the wrong in me having to pay for it. So a couple days after she found out she broke up with me. I promised her and swore to her that I was never gonna do it again. So a couple weeks later we said we would start working on things. And we did things were going great! Things felt amazing like they never have before! We were growing together and our connection was amazing! I had completely stopped watching it!
    Until February 22 2020 I don’t know what got into me and how I got there but there I was again paying for something I didn’t need! And of course a couple days later she happens to use my phone and see it all over again! I broke her heart and her trust! So she felt betrayed and of course she broke up with me again. I don’t how I let myself get to this. Porn made me into a liar and into someone I was ashamed of and made me keep secrets from someone I deeply cared about. So I decided to start with a 60 challenge so wish me luck and I’ll appreciate all the help and advice from anyone!
     
  2. Hi dude,

    I'm sorry to hear that. Many guys still watch porn while they are in a relationship.
    What helps to begin with is not only quit watching porn, but what are you gonna do instead of watching it?
    Find other things to do or make goals that you want to reach instead of watching porn.

    Good luck with everything!
     
    Halpherisdusfrey and Kimball10 like this.
  3. Life's Journey

    Life's Journey Fapstronaut

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    Hi Kimball10, welcome here. Sorry to hear your about the situation between you and your girlfriend. Wishing you loads of good luck overcoming this and staying away from porn. As said already by Quitporforlife, if you want to change your habits, consider new (better) habits to replace your old (bad) habits. You can do it!
     
    Coffee Candy likes this.
  4. WanderTruth

    WanderTruth Fapstronaut

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    I am so sorry for your situation. But i think you should talk to ur girlfriend about it. I know she felt betrayed about your addiction. But in my opinion, broke up just because of a few times PMO is a bit overreacting. You also said that you have period without P, and she should compliment you about that success. I mean, P addiction is arguably the hardest one to overcome, and as someone who trying to do it, you need all the support, not the pressure. I suggest that you go tell her about your problem, and tell her that you need her support to do this. No one should do this alone. Just something in my mind. Wish you all the best!
     
  5. Heyyy welcome to the NoFap forum : ) It's nice to see you here fighting the good fight alongside us!


    First let me go ahead and drop some helpful links for you:

    Getting Started Guide / Forum Rules / How to Use the NoFap forums/ Glossary/ NoFap Panic button/ Set up your day counter / Rebooting Resources/ About NoFap/ Support NoFap


    Here is just some advice:


    First and foremost please take a look at each section in the forum, there might be something(s) you may find of big help to you. Feel free to post there :+)


    Then secondly I just advise you to be active on your profile(as there a few active people in the profile section). Please start by choosing an avatar and then make daily status posts to show you're active and needing support/encouragement. They've also got a neat little feature that shows freshly posted statuses for all users to see. People will find your profile and give you encouragement/support.


    Theres a portion of people who love communicating in the profile section..(it should be and is )mostly spportive talk but it doesn't hurt to deviate from supportive talk. It would be great to have you join in and support others in the threads, profiles, and journal. Make sure and be grateful for the help you received and give some help after receiving some. Invest in some people's journeys. We could always use your help and in return you shall receive some as well!


    Thirdly, You should also highly consider creating a public journal/log (in the appropriate section for you) and write about your days in more depth for us members to follow along your journey and offer support to you by way of posting in your journal.


    Last but not least: Good luck on your journey here, make sure to really give it a try with all your heart!
     
    fg4795 likes this.

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