I’ve had sex during my reboot

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by 123me, Oct 18, 2020.

  1. 123me

    123me Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys, today marks day 20 for me with watching no porn and not masturbating. During this reboot I have had sex three times with my girlfriend. Do you guys think it is a good or bad thing that I have? If it is, how long should I stop having sex for? I initially starting this because I have been PIED and really bad performance anxiety. I just need your guys input on whether I should stop sex or not? My girlfriend is completely understanding if we do. So I need some advice.
     
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  2. BreakingDawn

    BreakingDawn Fapstronaut

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    I've heard it both ways.

    My reason to not have sex during my reboot was because I had the habit of basically using my wife's body to masturbate.

    Maintaining our relationship and avoiding any O has given us the opportunity to connect on an emotional/spiritual level unlike anything we've ever had before.

    Previously did a 28 day streak before having sex again. Over the course of a few weeks, I fell right back into those malignant relational habits.
     
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  3. 123me

    123me Fapstronaut

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    Thank you, I appreciate your advice !
     
  4. AnthonyyVibess

    AnthonyyVibess Fapstronaut

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    I think you just have to be aware of your habits ! Me and my gf had sex after maybe 2-3 weeks of me being pmo free. I thought i was still struggling with PIED until i realized a lot of my problem was performance anxiety. I still feel my erections can be better but she’s been amazing in helping me feel better abt sex and my body overall. There are definitely benefits. With that being said though i don’t live close to her so i still have to tame my urges and things like that i can’t just run to her when I’m craving sexual activity. And that’s helping me in a way i think too tho. Cause I’m forced to say sex with her was good and real but porn is bleh, i look forward to feeling her not m’ing to p
     
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  5. 123me

    123me Fapstronaut

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    Yeah I still feel like performance anxiety is in the back of my head still. Maybe I’ll try going a month without any sex to help me. Thanks!
     
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  6. Alleman

    Alleman Fapstronaut

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    Hey 123you,

    My advice is to continue having Sex.
    PIED is not induced by having real sex. In fact, the goal is to get rid of PMO habits and to enjoy a real sex life with your SO.
    One might say that Sex will enlarge the time it needs to heal, but is there any evidence for it?

    I also struggled with Performance Anxiety. The root of it was in fact the PIED which drove me crazy like "Why am I not aroused? I need to provide the Sex to my girlfriend."
    If you are currently in a panic mode, no sleep, no eat, no anything, then I advice you to have a little break. Otherwise my advice is to continue.

    I overcame my anxiety by continuing having Sex. And even though it didn't work every time, It helped me to relax about the outcome.
    It changed my point of view from: "I can only have Sex if I'm really sure that I will get hard. Oh god, what if I'm not getting hard???" to: "Well, let's see if it works. And if yes, lucky me. :)"
    I wouldn't have had this mind change when I didn't just continue.
     
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  7. 123me

    123me Fapstronaut

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    Yeah I feel the same way, I definitely get in my head a lot with it. That’s what makes me struggle sometimes, but then other times I have no problem. So I am gonna continue to have sex, but if I’m in the mood for it. Thank you for your advice
     
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