I. A. Accountability group???

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by BB7378, Jan 20, 2019.

  1. BB7378

    BB7378 Fapstronaut

    So I have recently looked into I.A. ( Intimacy Anorexia) and I tick most of the boxes. I bought the workbook and I'm currently working my way through it. I really want to put some serious work into this and I'm hoping for some good results.

    It mentions in the workbook about I.A. groups and sponsors. I have seen a few people in this section talk about how they are working their way through this workbook too. I've looked on line for a group near me but I have come up with nothing. The only numbers I see to call regarding the group's are the ones on Dr Doug Weiss website. Unfortunately for me I'm in Canada so a call to the U.S. is probably going to be pretty expensive.

    I had thought about setting up an accountability group on Nofap in the A.P. forum for anyone else who is looking for an I.A. group.

    @Rock_Star you are the only person I've seen mentioning an I.A. sponsor. If this I.A. accountability group doesn't get going is there somewhere specific I could find I.A. groups or sponsors?
     
    Trappist and TryingHard2Change like this.
  2. Beamer_Dreamer

    Beamer_Dreamer Fapstronaut

    53
    147
    63
    I'd be interested in the IA group. I'm working through the book too. This is my second attempt since the first didn't go too well. I wasn't serious enough about it. I think it'd be a good idea to have a group here.
     
  3. BB7378

    BB7378 Fapstronaut

    That would be great @Jak3 . I did see your tread about I.A. yesterday. I'm hoping to get a couple of people involved, I think the more the better. We could do daily check in to see how we are doing in general and we could check how the I.A. workbook is going and how we are transferring the lessons learned from the workbook into our daily lives with our partners.

    I had thought it might be better in the A.P. section as it would be relevant there but I'm open to others thoughts and opinions on where to have the group and how to move forward. Any suggestions or ideas would be great and can be put up for discussion.
     
    Trappist likes this.
  4. I would interested in an IA men's group. I have the Intimacy Anorexia book on my phone/Kindle app -- I have read about half of it...and I always walk away from reading that book learning something / growing / etc. I would love to do the workbook and talk/discuss with a group.
     
    Last edited: Jan 20, 2019
    BB7378 and Trappist like this.
  5. One idea is to start an additional forum in the married in recovery group that @NF4L and I moderate?

    Maybe add some to moderate who are in that group?

    I haven’t read that book, but would not be surprised to qualify?
     
    BB7378 likes this.
  6. BB7378

    BB7378 Fapstronaut

    That's great @TryingHard2Change is it the workbook you have or the book on I.A.? From looking on the website there are three or four books. Intimacy anorexia, Intimacy anorexia workbook, Intimacy anorexia the 12 steps and Intimacy anorexia working the 12 steps. I have the workbook, from what I can gather the 12 steps are based on the A.A. 12 steps like most other 12 step programs.

    Thanks for the suggestion @Trappist we could have it as a closed group as I know the A.P. section can be a bit all over the place. Or we could possibly just keep it as a tread here as we are all rebooting in relationships. I wouldn't mind having it as an additional forum as long as everyone who wanted in on the group was ok with it.
     
  7. I have the Intimacy Anorexia book on my Kindle. But I'll order the workbook for the group.
     
  8. So it would basically be open.
    Group forums require a bit of digging to find, so its almost as if it is closed?

    Let me know, I could start another forum there adjacent to the current forum there, if you want.
    Start with 3-4 interested, if you want it slightly out of the way?
    Maybe bring one in to help oversee?

    Having it as a thread here is instructive, too.
     
  9. Br1 R1

    Br1 R1 Fapstronaut

    I am interested in this as well, my wife ordered the 3 book set last week, should arrive here in a few weeks. Once I finish my NFA course I will be starting on doing the IA course, so possibly in about 4 weeks. My wife will be doing the married and alone book set which we will be doing together at the same time. I think IA is either a by-product of P addiction or the reason of it in a lot of cases. For me I think it was always there and maybe a reason why I turned to P. It will definitely help us in our communication and understanding of each other and happy to be in a group of like minded people.
     
    BB7378 and Trappist like this.
  10. BB7378

    BB7378 Fapstronaut

    Ok guys that's 6 of us and I think it's a pretty good start. If you go on heart to heart website you can get a pdf download of the first 9 pages of the workbook. It will give you an idea of the content and what the book asks of you exercise wise. I'm currently on part 31.

    I'm just going to keep posting here for now, as this group progresses or if issues arise we can decide on the best course of action as we go. Feel free to put suggestions on checking in or what you want from this group and we can all work together to get the best possible outcome from it :)
     
    Br1 R1 likes this.
  11. CowardlyLion

    CowardlyLion Fapstronaut

    I would be interested in joining this group as well. I haven't bought any of the IA books by Doug Weiss yet but I have some of his other books and his DVD which have been incredible. I have another book that my wife had ordered for herself at first, called "Erotic Intelligence" which deals with some of that stuff and I've found it to be very helpful as well. Please keep us updated, I'd like to work with some other people as I've had a lot of success in the SA/SAA 12-step programs.
     
    Br1 R1, TryingHard2Change and BB7378 like this.
  12. Rock_Star

    Rock_Star Fapstronaut

    96
    349
    123
    I know I still need to be part of a weekly meeting group. I tried starting one via Skype but it didnt end up working out due to scheduling. If there is a way to establish a weekly group and a way for guys to reach out when they are struggling, that would be best.
     
  13. BB7378

    BB7378 Fapstronaut

    This is the 3rd night of doing my 3 I.A. dailies with my wife and I like how its progressing. I think we are getting too onto explaining our feelings. My wife said at the end of it tonight that she thinks its supposed to be more this is how I felt, I had a feeling. And just sit with it, accept it, be aware of it. I'm moving onto part 36 Affirmations, in the I.A. workbook.

    I'm going to look into creating a separate group for the I.A. accountability group and I will update as I go.
     
  14. BB7378

    BB7378 Fapstronaut

    Quick update:

    I just realized the 12 steps are actually in the I.A. workbook. :):rolleyes: don't know how I missed that one.

    There are downloadable copies of the work book on heart to heart website. If shipping is an issue for anybody.

    Also there is an app from dr Doug weiss with the dailies the 5'cs and the affirmations and there are recovery partner and marriage tips on a daily basis. Android and Apple versions

    B
     
  15. BB7378

    BB7378 Fapstronaut

    Night 4 of the 3 I.A. dailies I share with my wife.

    Again I like what is happening when we do this exercise, I think we are maybe going too in depth but I like that. We are really expressing and communicating our feelings.

    I praised my wife for being strong last night and for having the courage to be with me again after everything I had done to her. She said "thank you" as it's part of the exercise but told me she didn't really mean it. My wife feels that because people think she is strong then they give themselves permission to dish out shit to her. And I was number one offender on that list. My wife doesn't feel its fair and she is not happy with how this has went down in her life, not just with me but with others too. I can see why she wasn't thankful as she feels this has brought her so much pain. And if she is in so much pain then she is not strong enough to go through everything I've put her through. My wife is delicate, precious and needs to be cared for by me at all times. There is no more room for my self centered bullshit. I need to be there for her no matter what like I should have always been because she is precious.

    Will be moving onto part 40 tomorrow night and I'm really liking how the workbook is progressing. Probably my whole attitude at this present moment in time. Got to keep moving forward, the prize a happy loving family for my wife my kids and me.

    B
     
  16. Rock_Star

    Rock_Star Fapstronaut

    96
    349
    123
    congratulations, it does feel good during the beginning. dont quit though. there will be a moment when you feel like this is impossible, you have to push threw those moments. good luck and keep up the good work.
     
    BB7378 likes this.
  17. Rock_Star

    Rock_Star Fapstronaut

    96
    349
    123
    I'm curious about the group meeting idea. is there a way to do that here on nofap?
     
    BB7378 likes this.
  18. CowardlyLion

    CowardlyLion Fapstronaut

    Yeah, I'd like something like this as well. I was using discord at one point in order to communicate with some people for an accountability group, but people were posting risky images so I deleted it.
     
    BB7378 likes this.
  19. Rock_Star

    Rock_Star Fapstronaut

    96
    349
    123
    roll call,
    for starting a nofap IA recovery group.
    need at least 10
    if interested post "in"
     
    BB7378 likes this.
  20. Beamer_Dreamer

    Beamer_Dreamer Fapstronaut

    53
    147
    63
    I'm down
     

Share This Page