i am a loser

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Hardwork11, Aug 25, 2020.

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  1. Hardwork11

    Hardwork11 Fapstronaut

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    hi,my name is wxy,i am 37 years old .english is not my first language.


    anyway,if you ever meet me or see me in real life,i am typical semi-successful guy ,college degree,wife,kids ,job and average health.
    but deep down i am some how a loser.i will tell you why

    I never convinced a girl to have sex with me in my life except one time which was my first the girl gave me "the clap" cuz i forgot to practice safe sex spent few days with the urologist treating me.
    i think that scarred me about women.

    everything changed in uni,i had full load of study courses ,rarely found time for girls .but my roommate was a playa bringing new girl every other week,he used to allow me to double team her(with her permission ofcourse) found out years later my roommate has ED and was on sexual pills everytime we do the double team.

    fast forward 6 years,at work sometimes i work hard and avoid unnecessary social situations where i have to interact with my superiors.most days though i am just keeping an eye on watch so that i can go home.

    i have very few friends 3 or 4 ,except those work collegues i fail to make new friends i am ok with this since previous friends turned out to be parasites.my fav time is when i am writing on forums ,watching youtube,reading.

    the only thing good going for me is spirituality i wake up at 5 every morning do meditation ,go jogging ,come home,eat breakfast and go to a job that i hate but that pays my bills.

    i view women as sex objects,when i told with women(which is rare) we would be discussing events at work,weather what ever topic that comes up but deep down i am thinking about how she feels at bed.
    i lust after girls even my sister in laws.i am bad at sex itself i had been a chronic masturbator for 20 years and found out i am premature ejaculator 1 year ago.i rarely last 5 mins.
    i have been through alot but does it matter now? nope what matters now is how i will enjoy my remaing half life of 40 years.
     
  2. If you want to get more replies,

    it might be better not to be so sexually graphic.

    A lot of guys might talk to you, but

    when they see words like "double team"

    it's dangerous for a porn addict to keep reading.
     
  3. Emanuil

    Emanuil Fapstronaut

    I don't feel intimidated with terms such as "double-teamed" like guy from post above ...
    … actually, I used to to the same thing more than once (because I saw it in porn movies and thought it would be fun), and never really enjoyed it:)
    Anyway, I don't understand the purpose of your post. What do you expect us to do ... to acknowledge that you are a loser, to discuss women as sex objects or how will you enjoy your remaining 40 years? (it seems that you are planning to live for 77 years since you're 37 now:D ... or this was just a lament over your destiny?
     
    Hardwork11 likes this.
  4. Hardwork11

    Hardwork11 Fapstronaut

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    i actually dont want to live beyond 80.

    yes this is a rant.i feel like i am living fake life.
     
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  5. livebytruths

    livebytruths Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the courage to write this and being honest with yourself.

    First you are not a loser. You are a real person with feelings, hopes and dreams.

    You came here because you want change. We all have moments like these where we feel low and insecure. It happens to me.

    I've been on this journey now for the past 16 days and already not having guilt and shame is very uplifting. I have a long way to go...

    Not to make this about me.... But you can make changes too. It takes will power but first a decision to be a better person. It's never too late. For any man or woman to come on this site and admit they have a problem is part of the battle already won.

    I appreciate that you came forward. I share the same feelings as you but never believe for one moment you are a loser. You are a person.

    We feel down because we often compare ourselves to others. I made a most in the Self Improvement forum that I re read before reading your post.

    I think it will be helpful.

    It's never easy to get yourself out of the pit you are in.... ALL of us are there. All of us feel low. Unworthy. But it doesn't mean we are losers.
     
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  6. Emanuil

    Emanuil Fapstronaut

    haha..that's great. I wouldn't like to live beyond 65 :)
    Ok, so that was a rant, but do you have some plan for you "fake" life?
     
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  7. Hardwork11

    Hardwork11 Fapstronaut

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    nah,i am lost i go where the winds takes me.
    i want to change but dont know where to start.i want to become assertive i am tried of this beta life.
     
  8. Emanuil

    Emanuil Fapstronaut

    I don't believe in this "alpha"/"beta" theory...that's BS for me. Sometimes just the desire for change and understanding what you don’t like in your life (so far) is enough for start ... or consider what would really make you happy. You'll become assertive with the time when you start to change things.
     
    Last edited: Aug 26, 2020
    Hardwork11 likes this.
  9. Hardwork11

    Hardwork11 Fapstronaut

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    how old are you know?
     
  10. Hardwork11

    Hardwork11 Fapstronaut

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    change will be slow .
     
  11. Emanuil

    Emanuil Fapstronaut

    45
     
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  12. Emanuil

    Emanuil Fapstronaut

    slow? well, what's the rush? you have time ... anyway, you said you want to live for at least 40 more years:)
     
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  13. Hardwork11

    Hardwork11 Fapstronaut

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    i will start by being stingy with my money.i feel like people take advantage of my generosity asking me to bail them out on small things.
     
  14. Emanuil

    Emanuil Fapstronaut

    well if that's what you have to do, then do it. you mentioned some "parasitic" friends in your previous post - I suppose you are talking about them. But when I mentioned that you should start to change things in your life, I was thinking more about that you should start doing things that make you happy.
     

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