I am about to lose my wife .. !

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by CS1, Sep 26, 2016.

  1. CS1

    CS1 Fapstronaut

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    Hey there actually i am living worst days in my life, i am addicting to porn since 15 years and i was thinking after i get married i will forget the devil to new life but the surprise is i do not have desire to my wife ! i spend 10 or 30 days without sex and she asking me do you hate me ? does am i not attractive ? do you have trouble with your self no trust in your self ? guys i am married since 9 years i am about to divorce she begun to hate me and doubting from me. I tried many times to have sex with her but my mind and desire not help me at all ! i want to look for porn only it is my wife. Please help me what i can do ? i am going to hell
     
  2. Hey CS1, sorry to hear about your problems.

    The first thing you can do is to start to give up porn now as it sounds like you may have Porn Induced Erectile Disfunction.

    There's a lot of information on that subject here and at Your Brain on Porn.

    I'm afraid I have to log off now, but you may find others coming along with more advice.

    There is hope. Getting informed and starting to make some changes are a good first step.

    Take heart, CS1. You're not alone.
     
  3. The number one thing you have to do if you haven't already is tell her everything. And I mean everything. Tell her about your addiction and your feelings of frustration that you can't give her what she needs and deserves. This is no time for pride, this is the time to be vulnerable and admit that you've screwed things up majorly, but that you want to fix it.
     
    WifeInTheDark and MizzChristLik like this.
  4. MizzChristLik

    MizzChristLik Fapstronaut

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    I agree with the previous comments and you might want to be prepared to be separated considering all that you've got to tell her and how she's going to respond... But as equally important you have to put ur pride down and not only admit that you need help BUT GET SOME HELP! And there's nothing wrong with getting help...
     
    WifeInTheDark likes this.
  5. Steward

    Steward Fapstronaut

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    First, you should try to understand what drives you. Why are you afraid of losing your wife? What would be worse for you if she left? What would your relationship have to be like for you both to be happy? I agree that talking to your wife about your issues at some point is inevitable. However, timing might be key. If you want her physically, but your body doesn't react in the way you would like it to, seing a doctor and getting a prescription for a PDE5 blocker might help to calm things down a bit, which could make it easier to talk about and face your issues as a couple.

    Best,
    Stu
     
  6. i_wanna_get_better1

    i_wanna_get_better1 Fapstronaut

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    Too many people wait until the last second to change. A woman will only take so much before she decides to find something better. We get so blinded to the damage we cause that we only wake up when the wife packs her bags and is about to leave the house. Now we're frantic to do or say something to get her to stay. We beg her to stay even though we have done nothing to this point to make her believe we can change. Sometimes we have one last chance. Sometimes it's too late.

    The only thing you can do is to stop, right now, cold turkey, no more relapses. You are out of chances. Make today Day 1 of your recovery. Do whatever you have to do to stay away from porn. Put into practice all the things you've read on this site so far. No more excuses... no more justification... no more explanations. There comes a point in recovery when you just have to DO IT.

    As mentioned, you have to talk to your wife. Disclose your addiction. Explain the side-effects and how it affects your sex life. Understand how it has hurt her deeply. Apologize and show her what you are going to do to get better. Take concrete steps that will show that you are serious about changing.

    Understand that if she hates you and is thinking of divorce then you are out of chances. Understand that you are in control of what you do. You are not helpless. Apply your energy towards fixing yourself and your relationship and there might be a chance to save your marriage.
     
    WifeInTheDark likes this.
  7. CS1

    CS1 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you alot guys for the advices and I am going to stop the evil right now and will come back later to prove to you that. But my question guys after I give up some of weeks or months I will restore my sex energy as normal human?
     
  8. adonis66

    adonis66 New Fapstronaut

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    I think so that this will help you man! you are doin good
     

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