I am an addict and I need your help.

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by ShyRussianDude, Mar 21, 2017.

  1. ShyRussianDude

    ShyRussianDude New Fapstronaut

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    Hello,
    I prefer not to say my real name so I'll stick to the ShyRussianDude. By my name you can obviously tell where I am from so please don't judge my English so much, I am well aware that its horrible.
    I study Management at University but I skip around 2 month already because of the problem. I work at my mothers firm because I am lazy idiot who wants to do nothing but play games and masturbate. I have a problem and I cant tell it to anyone. It took me ages to accept it myself so I cant imagine how am i going to tell it someone who is that close to me. My sex life if garbage obviously. I lack effort to go to talk to girls and go out with them because I knew I could always go back home and have a Fap.
    I don't know what exactly happened but I woke up around 40 minutes ago wanting to Fap and finally told myself no. So you understand its 7 o'clock in the morning and the first thing i though about was masturbating. I've watched porn since I got my first computer and that was around 14 years old. After many years of watching normal porn it became boring and I started watching all sorts of videos and movies until finally I came to transsexual porn with which I fell in love with. I am a straight guy and at first it worried me but reading through the internet that to watch this porn is alright put me right back to a comfortable place even though now I understand that watching any porn isn't normal. I've gotten to a point where there only thing and sexual desire I had was to have sex with a transsexual. So I did many times. At first there were prostitutes and later I managed to find my self a TS girlfriend. But I felt bad every time after we've slept together as I still knew what exactly wrong was I doing. But when I would go back home Id still fam to same porn again and again and again.
    Quit recently i started to accept what is going on with me and I need your HELP. I didn't only get addicted to porn but it also turned me into complete pervert.
     
    Last edited: Mar 21, 2017
    robertgianni1976 and D . J . like this.
  2. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

    Welcome to NoFap where you are amongst friends who are here to encourage you and sometimes challenge you but not judge you.

    How are you progressing today?

    What are your current strategies for combating the enemy called PMO?
     
  3. robertgianni1976

    robertgianni1976 Fapstronaut

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    @ShyRussianDude Hello. I read your post and, although I'm much older than you, we have many things in common when it comes to PMO.

    Maybe I'm not the best person to give advice about how to quit PMO, because I quit and relapsed many times, but unfortunately I have some experience in this addiction, and I know how it works.

    In my opinion, the fact that you're afraid to talk to girls is a problem, but it is not the main problem. The problem is that men have to be physically and mentally prepared to fight any time. I think this is in our DNA. I'm a very peaceful person and totally against any kind of violence, and probably most men are like me, but that does not change the reality.

    But masturbation affects the way we develop as men. It reduces our masculinity and self-esteem not only in front of girls, but also in front of other men, no matter if they are our colleagues, neighbors, bosses or unknown people on the street.

    Scientists say that an orgasm with ejaculation is equivalent to the effort of climbing 3 or 5 flights of stairs. However, after climbing 5 flights of stairs or even after jogging for 45 minutes, you can basically do whatever effort you want and you will feel great both mentally and physically. But after an orgasm, you feel weak and low on energy. So maybe science is wrong here. Maybe it is more healthy for men to abstain from ejaculation as much as possible. That doesn't mean they have to abstain from sex. Because sexual pleasure is not just about orgasm.

    Asian philosophers consider that it is better for a man to make love to his wife every night without ejaculating, because he will be able to make physical effort every day without problem. Of course, after a while, some men, especially younger ones, will feel physical pressure and an urgent need to have an orgasm with ejaculation in order to release the excess energy and sperm. So ejaculating is good, but only when you feel real physical discomfort because of the excess sperm.

    But even more important, I think men have to start improving themselves. For example: going to a boxing club, jogging, doing a team sport like soccer. On the other hand, they also have to improve their social skills and learn traditional and modern dances and develop their sense of humor. I live in Eastern Europe and at our traditional parties it is very important to know how to dance with a partner to traditional music. Learning foreign languages and travelling is also important.

    Everything we do and learn is important because it improves us and gives us an advantage over other people. Of course, you don't have to do everything right now. Self-improvement is not something that happens overnight, but over many years. Also, you shouldn't force everything down your throat. If you don't like team sports or languages, you shouldn't waste your time lying to yourself how much you like them. But boxing, swimming and dancing are basic things that everybody (including girls) should know. I have two very close friends who don't know how to dance and don't even want to learn to dance and they are very unhappy. Of course this is not the only reason why they are unhappy, but it is one of the important reasons.

    Good luck.
     

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