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I am an addict, and this is my trip.

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Patillitas, Feb 16, 2017.

  1. Patillitas

    Patillitas Fapstronaut

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    FALL
    Today in the morning I fell again in the pornography, I was alone in home and was easy to me disblock one sex webcam page and obviously Ican't control and relapsed. After PMO I feel really dirty and I passed sad the rest of the day;, that's the worst about fap, destroy my day and make me feel sad and disappointing with me, because I can achieve with myself, I fall to me and that's make me feel impotently.
    Right now I am bad, but tomorrow new day will be and the sun will shine stronger than today, so I can't give up, obviously is hard start again; but that's the matter, keep strong doesn't matter the obstacles.
    I can't keep looking the floor, when the sky every day is shinning more intense !!
     
    Mr. Blah likes this.
  2. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

    What could you have done that you didn't do which would have led to a different outcome?
     
  3. Patillitas

    Patillitas Fapstronaut

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    I think that be more strict with my triggers, I am conscious and I Know what are my triggers, but in some moments I forgot it, like a lapses of memory, because I disblock pages and do it, and then I feel sad. Maybe if I am more strict and write in some parts of my bedrom and cellphone and pc, to remember that, chances to relapse will decrease.
    I have to accept that sexcam pages are really dangerous to me, because there are many many beautiful girls live, and you only have to enter in the page and see, it's so easy, and that become it more dangerous. Right now that is my worst threat, I want to avoid this for my brain.
     
    D . J . likes this.
  4. Patillitas

    Patillitas Fapstronaut

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    ABRIL FREE
    That is my goal, complete this especial month free from PMO. I continue in this journey to leave this behind, to overcome this addiction that I had have since I had 15, I think, to see the world different and go out to be victorious. Maybe it's diasppointing when we relapse, but I know that nothing is surpassed in the first attempt, if it really be worth, it will be hard and require sacrifice each day. I want to give a change, a turn of mi life, to achieve many simple goals but really important to me.
    I am in my 6 day, I feel fine, without urges and never badthought, I feel in calm and this is the most important to me. I promise to have zero tolerance with pornography, I know very well my triggers, and if I don't attack it never I could defeat it, pornography is the devil for me, and can fall days, weeks to work in some minutes, that is not right and I know it. Another important thing is keep busy, keep my brain and mind busy in important and productive things, I can't forget that. World I hope, expect and I know that I can, write in some days to tell you about my NOFAP history, without relapses and with more hungry than today.
    Sty hungry, stay foolish.
     
    D . J . likes this.
  5. Patillitas

    Patillitas Fapstronaut

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    8 days and counting ...
    Each day I feel better with myself, to decide change my life and to give more than yesterday, I give short steps, but I give it, and I try to get regularity. I would like to be very proud to myself in the future, and see how I reach it, with effrot and sacrifice, each day jump obstacles, and with control to my mind and body. This change involve nofap, gym, confidence, actitud, like a whole.
    This week in the holy week in my country, and we are in holidays all the week, it will be very important week when I hope do many actions and things to continue in this turn of my life. Nofap is the most important in that changes, Abril free is my nearest goal.
    Keep the view in front, never in the floor ...
     
    D . J . likes this.
  6. Patillitas

    Patillitas Fapstronaut

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    9 days
    I am in holidays, and today I rested all the day and I went to the gym, I want to read my book before to sleep and then dream. PMO is not in my plans, not is important to me today, and I hope continue in this way, tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow and then .....
    Keep firm, keep solid.
     
    D . J . likes this.
  7. Patillitas

    Patillitas Fapstronaut

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    Relapse - I play with fire, and I finished burnt.
    The worst temptation is webcams, that's terrible for me, it's the devil to my plan to leave PMO. Because is sometime new for me, I hadn't seen this before, and in this moment that kill my head and my mind. Yesterday I relapsed, but my problem is that when I relapse, I be really weak, and is easy for me relpse again the same day and the next days. Yesterday I relapsed three times, and today I have relapse few minutes ago.
    I can't let this addcition control my mind, this war is not easy, contrary, is really hard and I feel more the lost battles than the win battles, I lost all th work in few moments to chaos.
    APRIL FREE continue for me, I am going to continue try fighting with this, I don't think in give up, that doesn't pass for my mind. Conitnue ..
     
    D . J . likes this.
  8. Patillitas

    Patillitas Fapstronaut

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    Day 1
    I have completed my day 1, again. Unfortunately this week was terrible for me, I relapsed and the worst of this is that I fell again the next 3 days, in that days I am really week and I can't control me, so frequently when I relapse, the next days I fall again.
    Now I want to recovery my lost confidence this week, I need it to keep in this war. I know that I have to do, I have always known, the problem is be strong to do it. I have to avoid and take distance with the triggers. Right now I am writing this post in my cell phone, because is midnight and if I turn on the computer, probably I can't control and will relapse.
    Today was a calm day, in home with my family, I did sports and went to pool and turco. I had not urges or bad thoughts. I am going to take with more importance this war, is the right moment I can't waste more time, life, moments, health .... the moment is right now.
    This week I can saw that the world is lost, internet is the worst tool to damage brains and get dirty persons. I entered in some pages that really took me to think about the world and its direction. The real world is awesome, anything have not to be in internet shit place.
    A week to return confidence, and a trip to recovery and create a Great life!
     
  9. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

    Welcome to NoFap where you are amongst friends who are here to encourage you and sometimes challenge you but not judge you.

    The enemy is here to steal, kill and destroy. What are your current strategies for combating the enemy called PMO?
     
  10. Patillitas

    Patillitas Fapstronaut

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    Day2
    I had completed my second day, I am happy for this, in the afternoon I was studying in my computer, when bad thoughts passed for my mind, and the idea to enter in porn pages, I entered for few minutes, 3 minutes so, and then I can exit and continue with my works. This is not good to enter un that pages, that is play with fire, but I am glad to continue clean and in calm.
    Right now I am writing this post from my cellphone, because is common relapse if I stay in computer in these hours, We are in midnight in my country.
    See you tomorrow world, tomorrow we are going to do very great thingssss
     
    D . J . likes this.
  11. Patillitas

    Patillitas Fapstronaut

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    Day3
    Each moment and by short steps I am recovering confidence in myself, I feel fine and in calm. 3 days is few, but step by step I want to change my life and the life of my nearest people. I studied until 5 pm and the I went to gym, right now I am reading my book, and I am going to sleep. Free!
    See you soon, free and stronger.
     
    D . J . likes this.
  12. _overcomer_

    _overcomer_ Fapstronaut

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    Hello, I read this. It's important, to realize, that masturbation is not the real problem, it's just a sign for a problem. i read, thata comman problem for persons who has problems with PMO is "boast" (it's also for me a problem).

    Also good against PMO is, I think, playing soccer maker sport...! I also like soccer! Are you from CHile?
     
  13. Patillitas

    Patillitas Fapstronaut

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    Day 4
    Yesterday was a normal day, I had class at university in the day, then I went to the gym and finally I read a book before to sleep. These days are to recovery my confidence and attitude.
    Right now I have to study in home, because I am sick. The problem is that is difficult to me concentrate when I am in home and worst when I am alone, is easy to me see pornography. I hope to be very strong to don't relapse and If I note that I can't control my idea is go away, everything to keep this calm in my life.
    A weak moment, can't destroy your goals. Stay strong, stay in calm.
     
    D . J . likes this.
  14. Patillitas

    Patillitas Fapstronaut

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    What is "boast", I don't undestand you. Whatever I practice many sports, I really like play soccer, and everyday I ride a bike to university and last times I started to go to the gym.
    No I am not for Chile.
     
    _overcomer_ likes this.
  15. _overcomer_

    _overcomer_ Fapstronaut

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    it means to be really proad, to think that you are better than others....

    but it's for me not so easy to explain, because my english is not so good! :)

    Just stay strong !
     
  16. Patillitas

    Patillitas Fapstronaut

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    Day 5
    Yesterday was a strange day, I am sick ( I have a problem in my left eye, something mild) so, I can't go to university, because I can't see very well. for this I passed all the day in home, I studied, saw a movie, read a book and rested. I was very scared, because stay in home is one of my worst triggers to relapse, so I kept me busy, maintained doors open and I stayed in dinning room or living room, no in my room, and lees alone. Finally I am very proud to continue free and didn't relapse.
    Today is the same, so the fear is not leave me. Maybe in the afternoon I go outside to prevent, and I am going to don't stay too much time in computer, only the necessary. Learning to the past, we can get better in the future.
     
    D . J . likes this.
  17. You are doing a great job man! Keep on! Do it also for the ones who struggle with it, like me...
     
    Patillitas and D . J . like this.
  18. Patillitas

    Patillitas Fapstronaut

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    Hey @French Nico thanks for your words, that motivate me to continue, and all of us are fighting againts our addictions and with strenght and commitment all of us we can. If you are in the start, don't worry everybody was there, I think I am there. And what we can do ? .... Keep firm and pursuit this dream to change badactions to change our life and discovery the best version of ourselves. I recommend read the succes histories, that is motivating for me, let me see that this journey really function, and the dreams can possible.
     
    French Nico and D . J . like this.
  19. Stephanof31

    Stephanof31 Fapstronaut

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    Hola, yo soy de Suramérica también! Así que no es necesario hablar en inglés conmigo! Yo tengo casi 23... Y tengo el mismo problema que tú!! Me encantaría poder ser de ayuda, tal vez los dos tengamos la misma adicción, pero es por eso que nos podemos ayudar mutuamente... Soy stephano
     
    Patillitas likes this.
  20. Patillitas

    Patillitas Fapstronaut

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    Day 6-7
    Yesterday and today was normal days, I spent day studying and resting in home. Home is dangerous to relapse for me, although I have been calm and without urges, that's make me feel fine, I felt a comfortable calm. I hope continue in this form and reach day by day many goals that I have.
    Thanks nofap to let us fight against our fears and evils.
     
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