I am an addict. Period. It's hard. I know how hard it is for you too!

I am an addict. Period. It's hard. I know how hard it is for you too! There. I accepted it. I've been a christian for a long time. I've been hanging out with the wrong people around me. and it got to the point where everything became a habit. bad habits. it defines me who I am. It doesn't have to be....but it is very hard to change habits.

Lately, my ideas....have been all about atheism...because I've been blaming God about everything....and I've been in the process of accepting Jesus into my life...but...it's still hard because I'm alone. I choose to be, I didn't trust the people around me. Some of them have different views, cultures, etc...I want to be myself.

I've come to think of it...when I'm bored, depressed, lonely, jobless (I graduated with a bachelor's degree 3 weeks ago, been applying and still no job), and not learning anything valuable and new...
my addiction to porn...goes back to where it started.

So I've assessed my behaviors...and all I gotta say is...I've got to find something productive to fill in that void of boredness, depression, loneliness, and emotional blankness (not having good relationships with people)....is what sets my day counter back to where it started....I've been getting myself prepared (physically and mentally) to go to the military...I hope all goes well.

ALWAYS, ALWAYS, I've got to be busy....

So, I hope this reflects to other people with addiction too....let's keep ourselves busy. Read, learn something valuable, exercise...before you fall into that trap of addiction again. Addiction can be anything, not just porn. It can also be videogames, drugs, etc...those are bad addictions.

I think it's best to fill up your mind with good addictions like.....playing guitar, reading, playing the piano (or learning), exercising...etc.

God bless