i am dead inside. i need help.

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Fighting for life, Nov 27, 2018.

  1. Fighting for life

    Fighting for life New Fapstronaut

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    this is the most honest truth about myself i am writing/saying since i remember....just because i am anonymous.

    i am 28 yr old unemployed with no social life and gf. i had ruined my life completely (by the end you will also agree) and now i dont know what to do or where even to begin.

    i was very shy and introvert when i first got pornographic material at the age of 13. Since then, with each passing day, i secluded myself even more. when people studied i watched porn, when people partied i watched porn, when people gathered for new year eve or anything....i watched porn. i never intracted very much with any girl bcz i was busy watching....

    with each passing day i was more distant from "reality" and more into porn. since last 15 YEARS the frequency, intensity, mental corruptness n degradation of porn and masturbation has only increased.

    since last 2 years i am watching sissy stuff. i thought i was gay. but having partnered with men i can tell that i am not gay. sissy stuff n masturbation addiction got so messed up that i started anal playing myself, even while shitting. and now it has became a habit.

    i dont know how much i masturbate or finger fuck myself. maybe 5-10 times each day. many times i do it because of compulsion, many times bcz its the only thing i know doing and i have been doing since last 15 years.

    i am fed up of myself. thousands of time i had tried to quit. but there is no other thing i know doing, there is no other thing i like doing.

    my biggest problems are
    1) my carrer- i have my life deciding exam in couple of days but i cant focus even for 5 min continous

    2) my social life - no friend or gf

    3) my health - i am exteremly unhealthy and you can understand why.

    if anybody ever read this plz help me. i am here bcz i dont know what to do or where to even begin.
     
    Hosseink likes this.
  2. HerSuperhero

    HerSuperhero Fapstronaut

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    Search non zero days on reddit. Read ryans01's answer. Helped me a lot and I learned to forgive myself because that's the only way you truly can start over.
     
    Fighting for life likes this.
  3. Fighting for life

    Fighting for life New Fapstronaut

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    thankyou. it was great help.
     
    HerSuperhero likes this.
  4. HerSuperhero

    HerSuperhero Fapstronaut

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    Np! Glad it was helpful and good luck on that exam, you got this.
     
  5. Son_of_Iroquois

    Son_of_Iroquois Fapstronaut

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    The first step is to stop killing yourself, which is what you are doing now.
    The second step is to begin learning about the chakras and your deeper spiritual nature.
    You can do that here: https://www.chakras.info/
    The third step is to heal yourself and begin conserving your spiritual energy.

    It may be worth seeking out a chakra healer if you have the time / resources.
    If not, you must forge your own path alone. Above all respect and honor your body, God's temple which houses the spirit.

    Good luck.
     

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