I am hopelessly, hopelessly addicted

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by SerpentEagleHeart, Jul 20, 2015.

  1. SerpentEagleHeart

    SerpentEagleHeart Fapstronaut

    I have been attempting a reboot since August last year. That makes nearly a year. Nearly a year of trying and I just can't quit.

    I've found reasonably early on that I could get to a certain number of days (around 10) before relapsing. But I can't properly get beyond that. I am addicted to porn. Nothing's working.

    I know it wouldn't be recommended on this site, but since I am such a goodie-goodie, I respond well to strong criticism. Anyone willing to just tell it to me straight and kick my ass into shape a bit? (I know that's a weird ask, but psychologically it really works for me. One of the reasons I am never late, for example - someone berated me about it and I was never deliberately late again).

    Please, one and all, go for it. I will not be offended. Go For It. As in, there's no limit on how far you can go.

    I feel like a total self-pitying coward at the moment and I need some perspective.
    Last edited: Jul 20, 2015
  2. SkyDoge

    SkyDoge Fapstronaut

    The reason you've been failing is because you're weak.

    You should probably ask someone else to password protect your phones and computers because you can't be trusted and you'll PMO given half a chance. Because you suck.

    Seriously what kind of loser has such a low self esteem that they ask to get insulted. You're just sick in the head dude. Pull your head out of your ass and your hand off your dick.

    I bet you fap to some really weird shit too and if your mom knew she would cry. What the fuck man.
    Forward and SerpentEagleHeart like this.
  3. Hero One

    Hero One Fapstronaut

    You're wrong about being hopelessly addicted. There's always hope.

    Getting us to kick your ass into shape is lazy. Only you can take responsibility for this. You've been doing this for a year - whatever you're doing isn't working. It's time to try something new.

    From what I can see, your motivation is lacking. You don't believe you can do it, so any attempt to quit is just delaying a tedious inevitability. You don't want to quit enough - you like the idea, but quite frankly, it looks like you can't be arsed to deal with the hard times. Self pity won't beat the strongest addiction my friend. Stand up, take control and prove yourself.

    We'll help you, but you've got to grab this thing by the nuts (not literally) if you've any chance of making progress.

    You're in the right place.
  4. Arley

    Arley Fapstronaut

    See here's a problem (possibly) … You're trying to "run the show" so to speak by demanding tough-love? Which is kind of like pmo. We pmo because its one way we can control life (i.e. run the show - life, as in how we are experiencing it emotionally … as in porn makes us feel better when life is seeming so dissatisfying). Life itself will provide all the "ass kicking" and then some if we keep pmo-ing.

    I do think tough love can be useful - but it has to be administered skillfully by someone who is a master at doing so. Also by someone who knows you quite well and has a genuine connection to you. Individuals like that are few and far between in my opinion.
    Last edited: Jul 20, 2015
  5. cryptifly

    cryptifly Fapstronaut

    Quit touching your dong, soldier! Stop that porn shit! Did I tell you to fap to those pictures? NO I DID NOT!! Now shut off that computer, throw your phone away, tie your hands behind your back and GIVE ME 50, you maggot!! Don't be lookin' at me boy! Did I say you could look at me? Now the whole forum needs to GIVE ME 50!! GO GO GO!!! MOVE MOVE MOVE!!!

    I don't mean to minimize your suffering, I thought a good laugh would do ya. Like Hero One said, only you can kick yourself in the ass, not us. Sometimes in life we have to challenge the things that we're used to doing, or the habits that are ingrained in us. Just as PMO is a habit you have, so seems to be the goodie-goodieness you claim to have. Habits are not etched in stone and it takes a strong choice to not enforce the habit. Make the right choice. And also, who gives a shit how long it takes to break the pmo habit. As long as you're trying, you're on the right track. Give yourself some credit and stop being so hard on yourself. It isn't doing you any good.
    SerpentEagleHeart, mv8652 and Arley like this.
  6. SkyDoge

    SkyDoge Fapstronaut

    Right. I hope you realize by now that my post was sarcastic. I didn't expect it would help you at all except to realize how useless that kind of motivation is.

    You're not really a goody goody you know. Not on PMO you aren't.

    You don't need to be shamed into quitting. What you need is to be built up brother.
  7. Reco

    Reco Fapstronaut

    Why are you self pitying??

    You're a pervert look at yourself in the mirror and accept what you are. Then do something to change it. See yourself through your addiction. You're the only one who can.

    You're a dirty pervert and you always will be. Prove that wrong.

    Learn to hate your addiction. It's the only way!!
    SerpentEagleHeart likes this.
  8. AlexanderTheFate

    AlexanderTheFate Fapstronaut

    Serpent let met try to give you a little perspective. Do you know how many men in the first world have a PMO addiction? A crap ton. How many admit it? Barely any.

    How many of those who can admit it strive to change it in a real and meaningful way? Narrow that shallow pool down farther brother.

    Thing are easy when we have an excess of willpower. It is great to just strive triumphantly to our goals, but few people can actually do that. Most struggle, sometimes in vain, against overwhelming odds. What does it say about a man who continues to make the effort to better himself despite constant failure and set backs?

    Think about this; do you want to quit more now than you did when you began in August? Never mind what your weak mind tells you about your ability to quit, your failures have made you want to quit MORE than ever before. Some of us probably came here with varying levels of commitment to actually quitting PMO. Everyone is different and every one of our addictions is personal and unique.

    I'm new at this and not without my own pathetic relapses, but your struggle gives me hope. If in a year from now I am where you are, I would know that I've done something amazing.

    Porn addicts have an advantage over other addicts. A crack head cannot install software on his laptop that will make him unable to buy crack. Get yourself a blocker package dude! They tend to be a little overly aggressive, but thats actually a good thing as I've found that even suggestive advertisements and sexualish content can trigger MO relapses.
  9. BlackVelvet

    BlackVelvet Fapstronaut

    Bonjour @SerpentEagleHeart

    Self-pity and tough love will get you nowhere my friend because I'm 97% sure that when your brain wants that PMO hit you'll get it without giving a flying flex about what anyone says. What you need is self love. We know what PMO does to us, our brains, bodies, relationships with others, etc. Would you smoke another cigarette knowing it will probably kill you someday? Try your hardest dude! You know what the right thing to do is!

    If you don't believe in yourself, then what can we do to help? Get back up and fight trooper!

    Au revoir,
  10. ThatOneGuy56

    ThatOneGuy56 Fapstronaut

    Feeling like a coward or being sorry for yourself will NOT HELP ANYTHING! You need to get out there and life your life dammit! Aren't you just so sick of starting over and over and over and over again? I know I was and you know what I did? I told myself to man up and get my ass out in the world because I know for a fact that nobody was going to hold my hand or feel sorry for what I was going through. You have to get a better attitude if you want to quit. Fuck porn, masturbating, edging, everything that involves self pleasure go out there and meet someone. And I know "easier said then done" it takes time but the time it takes to get it is worth it. Pull yourself off the ground and get out there! Show the world what your fully capable of! The sky's the limit for crying out loud! I hope you can quit this awful addiction and good luck because you'll need it and I know I do too.
    SerpentEagleHeart likes this.
  11. SerpentEagleHeart

    SerpentEagleHeart Fapstronaut

    Hello everyone,

    Thank you so much for your sobering comments. You are all completely right and I am back on the path and feeling good this time. Reading your comments has genuinely been quite an emotional rollercoaster (in a good way) so thank you so much. It is just what I needed. I will use this page as inspiration when I need it. Thank you again.
  12. Hero One

    Hero One Fapstronaut


    That's precisely what we're here for. Well done for getting back into it; now to start building momentum. Don't let apathy rob you of your progress. Post here next time you're feeling tempted, and let someone encourage you to keep going.
    SerpentEagleHeart likes this.
  13. I started trying the whole "NoFap" concept on July last year, with a pen and paper by myself. Obviously nothing worked, I joined this site on September and I've been fighting for close to a year as well. Have I given up? No. I failed many times, succeeded before as well but I'm still in the addiction wagon and I'm still fighting for freedom.

    Just don't give up, that's all I can tell you and I have to emphasize how important that is. If you make yourself feel bad and beat yourself up, tell yourself that you can't do it and nothing's working, you're gonna be stuck deep down in the hole of addiction and you'll never climb out! That's it, period.

    If you fall, you have to pick yourself up and keep going, get back on track ASAP and don't think twice. Think twice and you're probably gonna rationalize and binge, you're probably familiar with these types of things happening after a year's worth of experience. Whatever's "putting you down", you gotta push through it and if you think that it's "impossible" you gotta strengthen up your willpower because as harsh as it may sound, it's still not strong enough! Harsh and straight to the point, I've been through the pain before and going through it now, you felt it before too and you gotta PUSH yourself through it.
  14. agoodfuture

    agoodfuture Fapstronaut

    Think of it this way. No matter how many relapses you've had, you're probably one in a million to take on this type of challenge. I have a lot of respect for that.
    SerpentEagleHeart and cryptifly like this.
  15. sivavs

    sivavs Guest

    Well same with me. I cant even get motivated.
  16. skart

    skart Guest

    Losing all hope gives you freedom. Congratulations you've just hit rock bottom.

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