I am nearly going mad

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by moosic, May 28, 2019.

  1. moosic

    moosic New Fapstronaut

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    I am 36 years old and I believe I am in deep shit.

    I am addicted to porn for the past 22 years. I can't stop looking for porn, mobile games and binge eating. I used to get easily aroused when I see porn but since the last decade I lose interest quickly and need to seek new actresses. I battle within myself of my urges, but always lose out - every single time. This pandemonium within me is draining my mental, driving me insane.

    This pain of helplessness is not an aliment, but a chronic disaster. The agony I feel that I am becoming literally dumber, more sad and depress as each day goes by makes me doubt about my meaning in life. I wish I could turn back time - that is how delusional I am. However, I feel the last bit of my consciousness is still intact - barely, telling me not to do anything stupid. But this is my last stand. I need to fight this off.

    Forgiveness is a big step I resolved recently. It took me 30 years to forgive my family for the abuse. After a tearful hour of communicating, the hatred simply dissolved; it is that simple. I do not feel elated, nor do I feel euphoric. It is just plain relief, followed by calmness. It is hard to admit I have all these addictions, but I need to forgive myself and learn to move on the right direction.
     
    JesusStrength and hitnmis like this.
  2. hitnmis

    hitnmis Fapstronaut

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    Hi @moosic
    Thats a great acknowledgment.
    you can do this if you decide to and work hard at it.
    Im rooting for you
     
  3. JesusStrength

    JesusStrength Fapstronaut

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    Stop before it gets worst bro.. Leave porn in the past. Because its going to get worst..
     
  4. Always be positive

    Always be positive Fapstronaut

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