I am nearly going mad

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by moosic, May 28, 2019.

  1. moosic

    moosic New Fapstronaut

    I am 36 years old and I believe I am in deep shit.

    I am addicted to porn for the past 22 years. I can't stop looking for porn, mobile games and binge eating. I used to get easily aroused when I see porn but since the last decade I lose interest quickly and need to seek new actresses. I battle within myself of my urges, but always lose out - every single time. This pandemonium within me is draining my mental, driving me insane.

    This pain of helplessness is not an aliment, but a chronic disaster. The agony I feel that I am becoming literally dumber, more sad and depress as each day goes by makes me doubt about my meaning in life. I wish I could turn back time - that is how delusional I am. However, I feel the last bit of my consciousness is still intact - barely, telling me not to do anything stupid. But this is my last stand. I need to fight this off.

    Forgiveness is a big step I resolved recently. It took me 30 years to forgive my family for the abuse. After a tearful hour of communicating, the hatred simply dissolved; it is that simple. I do not feel elated, nor do I feel euphoric. It is just plain relief, followed by calmness. It is hard to admit I have all these addictions, but I need to forgive myself and learn to move on the right direction.
    JesusStrength and hitnmis like this.
  2. hitnmis

    hitnmis Fapstronaut

    Hi @moosic
    Thats a great acknowledgment.
    you can do this if you decide to and work hard at it.
    Im rooting for you
  3. JesusStrength

    JesusStrength Fapstronaut

    Stop before it gets worst bro.. Leave porn in the past. Because its going to get worst..
  4. Always be positive

    Always be positive Fapstronaut


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